3 weeks and addicted to Lorazepam?

Hi, I think I may be addicted after only a few weeks of taking .5 or .25 every day or every other day - depending on what was going on.  I stopped on Wednesday and then on Friday started having terrible panic, sweating, shaking, anxiety and doom thoughts.  Today I gave in and took .25 to help. Now, I am regretting this and wonder if I should just stop again or taper down???

 

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3 weeks on/off daily or every other day of .5 or .25 Lorazepam

Wednesday took .25 x 2 for dental check up

Today, .25 due to strange feelings since Wednesday'

Can I taper?  How?

It’s incredible how powerful these medications are and how quickly we can become dependent. I experienced interdose withdrawal after only a few days of use, and I began my taper inside of two weeks. I couldn’t take the symptoms that came on when I tried to go quickly, so I ended up using the Ashton method to taper directly off Lorazepam over the course of 4 months.

 

I’m so sorry you find yourself in this position, but you have come to the best place for information and support. You have a hard decision to make right now, and truly, you’re the only one that can make it. There are risks and benefits to whichever method you decide. If you can tolerate the symptoms of quitting without a taper (not really recommended once dependence sets in but you may be okay given such short term use), it may benefit you to avoid putting more drug into your system. If the symptoms are too nasty, stabilizing at a consistent dose and commencing a slow symptom based taper is probably in order.

 

Beauty

I couldn’t skip days and remain stable enough to function. You’d have to try it and see how you do...unfortunately, in my experience, any stretching between doses led to interdose withdrawal. I dosed three equal doses every eight hours to get off.

 

I noticed you have a past history with the med. This may be why it hooked you so fast. Also, it’s possible that you have been kindled by this recent run with the drug, and that can make it harder to come off. You’ll know by how it feels this time versus last time.

 

Whatever you decide to do and however you feel going through it, we’re here to support you. If you do decide to taper, check out the Ativan Taper Support Thread...it was a lifeline for me this time last year.

 

 

I’m just so sorry, and I completely understand what you’re going through. Lorazepam has a very short half life, and it sounds like you’re experiencing interdose withdrawal because of it. It helped me a lot to divide my dose evenly throughout the day when that began for me.

 

Those feelings of terror and dread are so common in this, btw, and they are beastly. You are not alone in them, and one day, they will go away. You did this once before, and you can do it again. ❤️

I think it sounds reasonable given your short term use, but I’d also really pay attention to symptoms. If they get too painful, you may consider slowing it down or microtapering. I know it’s a low dose and short term use, but I’d hate to see you hurt yourself worse by rushing and not listening to your body as you go. I think you’ll have a better idea of how to proceed once you see how the cuts go.

 

Best wishes with this!

 

Beauty

 

 

Hi SummerFun72,

 

I see you joined the forum in 2011, can you tell us more about your previous benzo experience, its an important factor in how you should approach your situation now.

 

How long did you take the Lorazepam in 2011, what dose and how did you taper off and also, how bad was your experience?

 

Pamster

Many members report having worse symptoms the more times they start and stop benzo's so I'm not surprised you feel worse this time.  But because of your previous use I feel you'll need to do a proper taper. 

 

First will be to get on a consistent dose to get stable, stable doesn't mean feeling great, it means functional, able to do daily chores while not feeling the best.  Try to pick the lowest dose you can do this one, what do you feel that might be?

I don't feel you're at risk for seizure, they're rare and your dose hasn't been very big and your use a short time but you are symptomatic so I agree with you that a taper will help you ease off of the drug.  I believe you're still going to experience symptoms but easing off the drug will be better than jumping off of it.

 

Many doctors don't fully appreciate that some of us will experience symptoms more intense and for longer than they're told by the pharmaceutical companies so while we appreciate them for their care, we're often on our own when it comes to getting off of these drugs.

 

I want to make sure we're on the same page, we're talking about your pill size and it's .50 not .05, correct?  You'll cut it in quarters and take one quarter a day then reduce that by half the week after?  Given the short time you've been on the drug this time that's probably reasonable but I would expect some uncomfortable symptoms.  Powering through is what you'll have to do, but if you can't handle the symptoms, we can work on a plan to get you stable on a higher dose and starting a very slow taper to keep you functional.

 

I'm sorry you're in this position again, I can't imagine having to do this more than once but we see it a lot.  You'll get through this, you did once and you will again.

Well, you gave it a shot and that's good, now you know this dose is too small, plus it sounds like interdose is coming into play as well.  Since your body is clearly dependent on the Ativan I think it's a good idea to dose .125 twice a day for a few days, maybe even a week.  Your brain is craving some consistency and your dosing these past 3 weeks hasn't given it any so it might be good to get stable on .25 a day taken in two doses of .125 each.

 

I'm not sure another 50% cut to your dose is the right thing to do, you can give it a try but if you end up feeling like you did today it might be better to accept that a slower taper would be better for you.  Ativan is so short acting you'll find out soon enough if it's going to work for you and you can adjust as needed, that's the trouble, you're the lab rat in this experiment and it can hurt, I wish it weren't like this.

 

Whatever you decide to do I hope you'll consider dosing at least twice a day, many Ativan users dose 3 times but you can play it by ear.  Keep us posted about your progress, it helps me learn when you do, then I can pass it along to the next person. 

Yes, its from the medication, our brain focuses on everything negative so we beat ourselves up constantly, this is why it's so important to have the support of people who have been there, to help you understand this isn't you and won't be you when you recover.  We lose our sense of self and its really scary but its temporary, a long temporary but it will leave you when you recover.

 

 

 

I'd love to see you get off the drug sooner rather than later and if you feel you're ready to do this then you probably are.  You're the only one who knows how much you can take and you know what you're in for so you're making an educated decision. 

 

I think you're going to be okay, you know what to expect and you know the only way out is through. 

I've seen dependency occur in 10 days, these are powerful drugs which change the way your brain communicates with your central nervous system, so yeah, this is serious stuff.  People who haven't gone through it can't understand how painful and scary it is and since not everyone will suffer from benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, we're oftentimes dismissed as drug or attention seeking, it's very demoralizing.

 

You can expect the repairs to still go on even after you're completely off of the drug so be prepared but also know that you will recover from this painful lesson.

These sound like normal withdrawal symptoms, they're very unpleasant I know.  I would hold off on adding any supplements, your central nervous system is highly sensitized right now so it's difficult to know what will help and what will hurt.  Many members can't take supplements while going through this, others swear by them, we just never know who will feel what.  If you decide to add anything, only add one at a time so you'll know what is causing what.

 

You can see what other members have to say about supplements on the Alternative Therapies & Supplements board.

 

This is also a list of symptoms.  http://www.benzobuddies.org/benzodiazepine-information/withdrawal-symptoms/

I haven't read any negative posts about melatonin but proceed with caution when adding anything new. 

 

You're more than welcome to try to find a Dr who understands benzo withdrawal but from what I've read here, it's not that easy.  Most Dr's get their information from the drug reps and not everyone will have difficulty getting off of these drugs so that makes it even more difficult to find help.

 

You are making yourself crazy but its the drug doing it, it makes us fearful, it takes away our self confidence, we lose our ability to connect with ourselves and others and it turns our life upside down.  But all of it goes away when we recover, you might try reading our Success Stories, I lived on them when I was suffering.

These drugs are powerful and we're all different, some are more sensitive and it looks like you're one who is.  I don't know if you've read this but it explains what these drugs do to us in a way I can understand, the Ashton manual was too technical for me when I was recovering, I wish this post had been available to me then but it came along after I healed.  It may help your husband understand a little better.  What’s happening inside your brain

 

The last paragraph before the addendum in this post is addressed to our family.

 

And if you ARE a family member, please realize that those of us in recovery are no more in control of how we feel or what we experience than people who have undergone brain trauma in a car accident. Please be patient with us, because our brains are healing and we are in the process of reconstruction - and our function is temporarily enabled, then disabled, then enabled, then disabled again.  And that is totally normal and expected.  We can no more help that than a person can "want" to wake up out of a coma. It happens when the brain is able - and not out of sheer will.  But it does happen. So please stand by us and say loving things and reassure us every day. Notice our improvements and tell us what they are.  Encourage us when we feel good.  And when we don't, just hold us and hug us and tell us it will be okay.  Anything you would say or do for a family member that had had a car accident and a brain injury - please do that for us.  And be patient... we are getting there.

 

As for the supplements, they won't go to waste, when you feel better you can take them but you're smart to hold off for now.

 

 

Mental health issues don't come with windows of normalcy, this indicates to me you're suffering the effects of withdrawal.  What you felt before you took the medication could have been as you said, stress from your job, stress from a dental issue, hormones or any number of things.  Don't doubt yourself, this is what the drug withdrawal does to us.  Have faith in who you were before this and who you will be when you're past it.

Your doing great SummerFun..!!

 

One thing I did that really helped was make the phrase and thought “Its NOT me, its the MEDS” a handy and easy to grab on to thought.. It took a bit of practice, but before long it worked wonders when odd or nasty things popped up.. -Grounding, I guess..

-Oh, and deep steady breathing too..

B vitamins revved up my anxiety type symptoms when I was in active withdrawal too, but whole tablets are fine now if I want them..

 

Cheering you on.. You can do this..

I'm thrilled you're experiencing windows, these are a peek into your future!  Your brain is doing its best to repair the damage done by the drug, you're getting there just try not to focus on the symptoms, our best tool is distraction, do anything other than focus on how you feel.

Anytime you can get a window is a good thing, I only had one the whole time I was recovering and it lasted seconds but I still remember how wonderful it was to get just a few moments of peace.  They don't happen for everyone but that doesn't mean they aren't healing, we're all so different and experience this differently.

 

You're doing really well, I know it doesn't feel like you are but try to rely on those who have traveled this path.

I highly doubt you are addicted, addiction bases its self around negative behaviour regardless of consequences. I'm more certain that you have become dependent which is completely different then addiction although they often swim in the same circles. And it makes sense, benzodiazepines and sedative drugs arnt your typical... These drugs heavily effect and depress your CNS. It takes roughly 7-9 days for dependency to kick in so what you perceive as a short duration is actually more then enough time for you to over power your CNS. Dependency is your natural ability to alter due to prolonged exposure so it makes sense you'd have some symptoms.

Do you at this point have a way of getting off or a method? Such as water titration or dry tapering? It's almost impossible to figure out just how your CNS/PNS has been effected and to what degree... Again these are very powerful drugs. None of this of course is your fault so don't beat yourself up. Just taper off and deal as best as you can with what's going on or what experiences may come.

My feeling is you should probably tough this out, I know you're miserable but if you look around the forum you'll see hundreds of members who are tapering who are just as miserable.  There isn't an easy way out of this mess and the thing is you're benzo free and have been for a week now so you're in acute withdrawal but this will pass. 

 

You'll still feel symptoms but they'll be less and continue to fade as time goes by.  You were on the drug for such a short time and even though you're getting hit hard with symptoms, I've watched members who were short time users recover sooner than those on long term.  I wouldn't risk it but it's up to you and we'll support whatever decision you make.

I don't have any suggestions for medications, this should probably be a conversation with your Dr but if you'd like to look around the forum or ask others about them, here is the link.  Other Medications   

 

As for insomnia, there is a lot of discussion about that on the forum too, for starters I'd look at this list of suggestions.  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235100.0

I'm a first timer, but no sleep ~ 1 week out is consistent with my experience.  The following night I slept 5 hours, so was happy, but the night previous to no sleep I only slept 3.  You are going to be ok.  Im now another week out and still waking up before 4am, but I don't think we have control of this, or have a choice other than keep going.  I'm just trying to be ok mentally knowing I'm going to get less sleep and not freak out that it's permanent/heart is going to fail/get sick from not sleeping, etc

I have not slept in a day.  This cannot be good.

 

Not getting any sleep is miserable but you will eventually, the key is to not let it freak you out, that just makes it harder to come by.  Just accept you're not going to sleep and instead lay in bed and rest.  When your brain needs sleep you'll get what they call micro-sleep, you won't even be able to tell you've slept but you'll feel like you've missed some time, even if its only for a minute or two, it will help.  This is your brains way of surviving and it will keep you going until you can sleep for real.

 

I'm not sure what dose you should go back on should you decide to do this, some have to go to a higher dose to reverse the withdrawal symptoms.  I'd start out as low as you can and give it a few days to take effect.  I'm sorry you're so miserable, I remember it well. 

 

I'm so glad you slept and happy to hear you refused the Ativan!  With the sleep you just got, you should be able to withstand these nasty symptoms a little better. 

 

Well, if this is all psychological then you're in good company because these pages are filled with thousands of posts from thousands of members who have suffered from the same thing.

 

Adding an antidepressant at this time can be tricky, just as with supplements, some people do fine, others react negatively and in the end, the A/D has to be tapered, oh goody!

 

I'm just so happy you slept! Use this time to accept that this will go on for a bit more and its nothing to be afraid of, it's your body repairing itself and it's doing a great job.