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Autism, Myers-Briggs Personality Type Testing, etc.


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I'm migrating this from a locked thread on Baylissa, this is not about her, please do not discuss her. It was something that spun off that between diaz-e-BAM and I.

 

Quote from: diaz-e-BAM on April 02, 2021, 06:12:48 am

 

I probably have a PTSD thing going on because whenever I read about guidelines/laws/regulations in the mental health sector, my mind immediately goes to working out how it's a con to sell more drugs. The problem I have is that it's usually trivial to think of a possibility, so it's hard to shake. That's all I was asking, if anybody else's mind works like this? I'm recognising a weakness in myself.

 

Mine does, but in my case I have the Autism going on. You are not alone in your thinking.

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Quote from: diaz-e-BAM on April 02, 2021, 06:16:39 pm

For me it's sort of like, I don't know whether to just admit it's paranoia. I can switch off from it, it doesn't eat me up or make me ill. It ticks me off but so what? Who doesn't get ticked off these days? :crazy:

 

I don't think I'm paranoid. I got dragged into a net. I made a bad decision that was assisted by the preponderance of bad information in mainstream culture. I have gone kind of autistic myself in withdrawal. Something happened and I am storing memories in a different way. It's kind of weird but my mind has started to work in the same way as my brother's does for some things. He has autism. I'm also more in touch with my feminine side, as weird as it feels to post that (TMI?). I memorised pi (3.141592653589793...) to 80 digits and it was easy to do. I did it because I felt like my ability to recall precise details was better than it had ever been. So I wanted to check and this was a good way to find out because I knew that I didn't have this ability before. My brother has a really good memory too. And he has this skill of telling you what day of the week a calendar date was from as far back as like 20 years ago. Rather than being paranoid, it's just that my mind seems to pick up on everything. I can let it go straight away, so it pops in to my head and I just leave it and move on. But sometimes I talk about it because I think it's right to spread awareness of something that can wreck lives. There are certain choices that you shouldn't just defer to an authority figure. What medication to take is one of them. You need to dig about and find people who have extensive experience. The cultural acceptance and to an extent glorification of these drugs has been crafted by some aggressive lobbying that has paid for a permissive regulatory climate allowing aggressive marketing strategies.

 

A

 

 

Have you considered that you might be on the Autism spectrum yourself? You can be on the spectrum and not have Autism itself. I have an older brother who exhibits some traits of Autism, but is not Autistic himself. Check out this test at this link. https://aspietests.org/aq/ Simon Baron-Cohen is the first cousin of actor Sacha Baron Cohen. What you think might be being paranoid might be an Autism trait known as perseveration. People who perseverate absorb information and retain it down to the smallest of details. It can be good or bad, when it's bad it's almost like OCD. When it's good it becomes a skill that others envy, your ability to retain information on certain subjects and details. You can discard that which you don't want to retain. And remember that which draws your interest.

 

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Quote from: diaz-e-BAM on April 03, 2021, 04:40:17 am

 

I don't think so. I took the test that you linked and I score fewer points than the average for non-autistic people who took the test. I've always had some autistic tendencies and that has prompted me to explore this possibility in the past. Apart from not screening for autism, I screen for unusually high empathy, which is really not an autistic trait. I am absolutely fascinated by this sort of enquiry and my best theory that accounts for my unusual blend of traits is that because I have high empathy, I have acquired some traits from my autistic older brother. Then there's the trauma of withdrawal exaggerating things. Also, I might be exhibiting more signs of autism than I usually do because under lockdown I am seeing a lot of my brother and not a lot of my friends. It's one of the traits that scores me high for empathy, there is a shift in my persona depending who I am talking to. Even my accent and the way I speak changes depending who I am with. It just happens naturally. I have a Math degree too, so that makes me a bit more systematic in my thinking, which is kinda autistic. There was definitely a time when I had Perseveration as a symptom but it's not as extreme as described in Wiki anymore. Thanks for sharing though, it's interesting.

 

I've read some of Simon Baron-Cohen's research on the "extreme male brain" theory of autism which I do think there's something in. I remember reading some of his thoughts on savantism too because what I have going on seems like it could be called savant-like. My brother's "human calendar" ability that I described is the most common savant ability. He says that he sort of knows how it works but not to the extent where he could explain it. That's how it is with me. It seems to be that I have gone right brain for certain tasks that are normally left brain, something that comes up in savantism and also in trauma. On the "extreme male brain" theory, there is a lot made of systemising and empathising. I am pretty high in systemising but I'm also high in empathising, it just seems to be strongly dependent on the task. Both my father and my brother have exaggerated strong male traits and so do I in some respects, but I also have unusually high female traits in other respects.

 

This is how it goes when I dive into this. I've got some unusual stuff going on and the common thread seems to be trauma. I'm on hold for PTSD treatment due to the pandemic. I think that I've changed permanently and once I have dealt with the PTSD bit, I'll have a stronger idea about the way it's going to be going forward. Already I feel like myself, just with this ability to recall lots of intricate details from memory, and a more strongly emphasised spiritual side than before. My whole life has been pretty unusual, to be honest with you. My parents had me and my brother when they were young. They have their issues and before my life fell apart, they used to confide in me. My younger sister is on the spectrum and has a mild case of Tourette and anxiety is a constant battle. So I've always felt this responsibility to understand everything so that I know how to be there for my family. It sometimes drives me to go a little too far but I think I'm starting to mature past that. This whole ordeal with pharmaceuticals came about because I was pushing myself too hard and my mental health suffered. I have better boundaries now and that makes me a stronger person which benefits everybody.

 

I don't know how to talk about this in my real life. It's too much for my family, either too complicated or too emotionally loaded depending on which family member. With my friends, I feel like I have been a liability for a while and I just want to be normal and not talk about how my mind functions differently now. So I find myself opening up to people on the Internet. I hope some people can relate but I realise it is a bit self-indulgent.  :-[

 

 

Well, at least the test gave you an idea of where you fall. Also, it is a misconception that Autistic people can't feel empathy. On the contrary, many can, but they internalizze it and don't know how to express it. I have strong empathy feelings, yet am Autistic. I've met a few like myself. Have you ever done Myers-Briggs typecasting? I did the book "Please Understand Me" years ago, and did the abridged test in the book. My type ended up being the one where empathy is strong. There's lots of resources online, including the actual test that helps you find out what your personality is, and where you fit in. You might get some answers there, I know I found it immensely helpful. I get being misunderstood, and not being able to talk to anybody about these things. I think you will fall into one of the rarer Myers-Briggs groups, so the percentage of like-minded people is small. Which makes it hard-pressed to find others who understand your unique traits.

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[2d...]

I’m actually really glad to have read this.

 

My son is on the spectrum and I show a lot of the traits he does but never figured things out for myself bc I’ve always been so focused on him.

 

I did take the test. I show high probability of falling on the spectrum. I’ve always wondered if I was.

 

Very interesting test.

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I’m actually really glad to have read this.

 

My son is on the spectrum and I show a lot of the traits he does but never figured things out for myself bc I’ve always been so focused on him.

 

I did take the test. I show high probability of falling on the spectrum. I’ve always wondered if I was.

 

Very interesting test.

 

I'm glad you found it helpful, Autism Spectrum disorders tend to be genetic and run in families. An affected parent can show traits, but not be fully Autistic, my father clearly had the traits. I have Aspergers, and didn't know until i was 42 yo. I had my genotype done several years ago and learned I had close to a dozen genes associated with Autism Spectrum Disorders. 

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[2d...]

I’m actually really glad to have read this.

 

My son is on the spectrum and I show a lot of the traits he does but never figured things out for myself bc I’ve always been so focused on him.

 

I did take the test. I show high probability of falling on the spectrum. I’ve always wondered if I was.

 

Very interesting test.

 

I'm glad you found it helpful, Autism Spectrum disorders tend to be genetic and run in families. An affected parent can show traits, but not be fully Autistic, my father clearly had the traits. I have Aspergers, and didn't know until i was 42 yo. I had my genotype done several years ago and learned I had close to a dozen genes associated with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

 

Was yours tested through bloodwork? I’m not too familiar with things like that.

My son has blood work next week to check genetics. They told me if they found certain things they were going to want to test me to check mine. I found this thread just in time.  Lol

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I’m actually really glad to have read this.

 

My son is on the spectrum and I show a lot of the traits he does but never figured things out for myself bc I’ve always been so focused on him.

 

I did take the test. I show high probability of falling on the spectrum. I’ve always wondered if I was.

 

Very interesting test.

 

I'm glad you found it helpful, Autism Spectrum disorders tend to be genetic and run in families. An affected parent can show traits, but not be fully Autistic, my father clearly had the traits. I have Aspergers, and didn't know until i was 42 yo. I had my genotype done several years ago and learned I had close to a dozen genes associated with Autism Spectrum Disorders.

 

Was yours tested through bloodwork? I’m not too familiar with things like that.

My son has blood work next week to check genetics. They told me if they found certain things they were going to want to test me to check mine. I found this thread just in time.  Lol

 

My genotype was done using a spit test provided by Genes For Good, for my genotype to be available for researchers. I have a certain genetic disease, plus I learned I carry a gene that only 10% of those of Eurpean history has, a gene that came from Neanderthals, that makes me immune to Smallpox, and it has now been found to also redice the viral load of HIV to greater than 90%, thereby preventing AIDS. I uploaded my file to Promothease and got my results on autism and this other stuff from there. I also use GedMatch to research ancestry. From both I learned about the Neanderthal gene, it's been donated to the University of Brussels in Belgium who have been looking for people like me for research. And there I go perseverating...  it's the Autism again.

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Quote from: diaz-e-BAM on April 03, 2021, 04:40:17 am

 

I don't think so. I took the test that you linked and I score fewer points than the average for non-autistic people who took the test. I've always had some autistic tendencies and that has prompted me to explore this possibility in the past. Apart from not screening for autism, I screen for unusually high empathy, which is really not an autistic trait. I am absolutely fascinated by this sort of enquiry and my best theory that accounts for my unusual blend of traits is that because I have high empathy, I have acquired some traits from my autistic older brother. Then there's the trauma of withdrawal exaggerating things. Also, I might be exhibiting more signs of autism than I usually do because under lockdown I am seeing a lot of my brother and not a lot of my friends. It's one of the traits that scores me high for empathy, there is a shift in my persona depending who I am talking to. Even my accent and the way I speak changes depending who I am with. It just happens naturally. I have a Math degree too, so that makes me a bit more systematic in my thinking, which is kinda autistic. There was definitely a time when I had Perseveration as a symptom but it's not as extreme as described in Wiki anymore. Thanks for sharing though, it's interesting.

 

I've read some of Simon Baron-Cohen's research on the "extreme male brain" theory of autism which I do think there's something in. I remember reading some of his thoughts on savantism too because what I have going on seems like it could be called savant-like. My brother's "human calendar" ability that I described is the most common savant ability. He says that he sort of knows how it works but not to the extent where he could explain it. That's how it is with me. It seems to be that I have gone right brain for certain tasks that are normally left brain, something that comes up in savantism and also in trauma. On the "extreme male brain" theory, there is a lot made of systemising and empathising. I am pretty high in systemising but I'm also high in empathising, it just seems to be strongly dependent on the task. Both my father and my brother have exaggerated strong male traits and so do I in some respects, but I also have unusually high female traits in other respects.

 

This is how it goes when I dive into this. I've got some unusual stuff going on and the common thread seems to be trauma. I'm on hold for PTSD treatment due to the pandemic. I think that I've changed permanently and once I have dealt with the PTSD bit, I'll have a stronger idea about the way it's going to be going forward. Already I feel like myself, just with this ability to recall lots of intricate details from memory, and a more strongly emphasised spiritual side than before. My whole life has been pretty unusual, to be honest with you. My parents had me and my brother when they were young. They have their issues and before my life fell apart, they used to confide in me. My younger sister is on the spectrum and has a mild case of Tourette and anxiety is a constant battle. So I've always felt this responsibility to understand everything so that I know how to be there for my family. It sometimes drives me to go a little too far but I think I'm starting to mature past that. This whole ordeal with pharmaceuticals came about because I was pushing myself too hard and my mental health suffered. I have better boundaries now and that makes me a stronger person which benefits everybody.

 

I don't know how to talk about this in my real life. It's too much for my family, either too complicated or too emotionally loaded depending on which family member. With my friends, I feel like I have been a liability for a while and I just want to be normal and not talk about how my mind functions differently now. So I find myself opening up to people on the Internet. I hope some people can relate but I realise it is a bit self-indulgent.  :-[

 

 

Well, at least the test gave you an idea of where you fall. Also, it is a misconception that Autistic people can't feel empathy. On the contrary, many can, but they internalizze it and don't know how to express it. I have strong empathy feelings, yet am Autistic. I've met a few like myself. Have you ever done Myers-Briggs typecasting? I did the book "Please Understand Me" years ago, and did the abridged test in the book. My type ended up being the one where empathy is strong. There's lots of resources online, including the actual test that helps you find out what your personality is, and where you fit in. You might get some answers there, I know I found it immensely helpful. I get being misunderstood, and not being able to talk to anybody about these things. I think you will fall into one of the rarer Myers-Briggs groups, so the percentage of like-minded people is small. Which makes it hard-pressed to find others who understand your unique traits.

Thanks for making the effort to migrate this discussion. It's nice to talk to someone who is familiar with these topics who also understands how withdrawal can affect our state of mind.

 

That's really interesting that you have Autism and high empathy at the same time. I feel confident saying that this isn't particularly common but I am aware that within the category of Autism there is a huge amount of variation, so I am not too surprised to hear of somebody like this.

 

As if to demonstrate your ability to empathise, you're actually spot on about my personality. I decided to take a free test here out of curiosity, because I haven't taken a test like this since before my withdrawal journey. I used to get INTP most often but this time I got INFP. I'm somewhere in the middle on intuition vs. sensing, I've had ISTP too. Personality is more fluid than many people realise so it's no surprise to see something different when I'm in benzo withdrawal. INFP gets called "mediator" apparently. It's really not surprising that I would morph that way in my current living environment. I've had to be the diplomatic one even when I was having quite severe symptoms.

 

I am in no way endorsing the test I took as anything like scientific, by the way. At the same time, I think MBTI is a useful tool despite the shortcomings. I started to get into Jungian psychology a bit more than a year ago because of his work on synchronicity. I had a psychosis a couple of years ago and the work of Carl Jung really helped me get that into context. I didn't know until recently that he himself suffered a psychosis and a lot of his work following that (including his work on synchronicity) is dismissed by many as pseudoscientific quackery. That doesn't matter to me too much. I know what I experienced. It was extraordinary and I wouldn't expect people to get it without having a comparable experience. Most people aren't going to have a comparable experience, rendering me somewhat lonely.

 

I'm out of my depth trying to talk about this, to be perfectly honest. I always knew that I was complicated and that's a big part of the reason I got into difficulty, going too far trying to figure it out. Then this happened to me and made things multiple times more complicated still. I'm trying to put the pieces together and that's working out well, except that it would be really helpful if somebody understood, but I can't get close to a good explanation. There's this massive gap between what I know and what I am able to explain. I shouldn't get down about this though. The important part is that I understand myself better than ever. Carl Jung is amazing and I get a lot out of reading him. I also get a lot out of Eastern spirituality, particularly Daoism.

 

Thanks for inviting me to talk about these things. I think it helps, even though I feel like I have failed to get across what I'd like to get across.

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My apologies not getting back to you sooner. Yes, Autism and high empathy aren't often seen, but have known people on the Autism Spectrum who possess both. 

 

I checked out the quiz you did and got INFP (Mediator). I can see the INFP come through in your posts on BB, so you getting that result doesn't surprise me. But I see some of the INTP the Logician too.  However when I did the actual Mysers-Briggs, i was split between that and INFJ (The Advocate), with INFJ being slightly greater. Some people don't fit neatly in one category, it was explained to me, and people can fit in two different types. So my predominant type is INFJ, my secondary is INFP. Of course the Myers-Briggs insn't scientific, but it is a usefull tool that helps you better understand youself. It seemed my results were spot on. I took this tests two decades before I learned I was Autistic.

 

I understand you feeling complicated, and not being able to figure yourself out. I'm sure this same feeling is felt by many who fit into the rarer Myers-Briggs personality types. We don't fit into the more common types, and we question why we are so different and can't relate to most people around us. What makes us tick differently from the rest?  :-\

 

I can read and understand theology books, while most I've know stick to religious fluff. I'm a student of mystical theology, and have read numerous books on the subject. But my interest and knoweledge goes over the heads of most Christians I know. But give me some sentimental storybook on the life of Christ given to (or written by) some questionable person under questionable curcumstances, and I just find the writing style off putting and overly sentimental. Plus, I'm bored. I'd rather read a theology book or about a mystic or somebody like Thomas Merton. And there I go perseverating like an Autistic person...  :P

 

I guess we just have to accept that we are unique and different. 

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Come to think of it, I think that spending time on BB could be a factor that skews towards the mediator type. It makes sense.

 

Is that perseverating? I brought up spirituality and you shared some thoughts and experiences. I am glad that you did because I have taken somewhat of an interest in Christian mysticism. Reading Carl Jung will do that to people! Is there a book on the history of Christian mysticism that you'd recommend to somebody like me? I am fascinated by the topic but apart from reading some books that touch upon the subject (such as Jung) and watching some YouTube videos, I haven't explored it further because it's not at all obvious where to start. Perhaps if you can recommend a book about the life of a mystic, that would be a good in? Or any other intro you'd recommend. Thanks  :).

 

I think a lot of it stems from the question you ask "What makes us tick differently from the rest?". I've come a long way in understanding what makes me tick and with that I have also come to understand how valuable a skill it is. Almost as a by-product of trying to understand myself, I have become pretty handy at figuring out what makes other people tick too. So I have this sense of having something that I want to communicate but not quite knowing how to do it. I think it's because I use my intuition more than I ever did in the past and I don't know how to translate the mechanics of this process into writing. I want to try and explain something that is not strictly rational, using words. I suppose this is why I am drawn to mysticism.

 

I know that if you're an INFJ, you can certainly relate to things being complicated. And you probably can understand the sensation of having knowledge of something without it being easy to explain. You're right about accepting that we're unique but I'll never get bored trying to hone in on why/how. This has been interesting and I thank you for sharing your thoughts. They are very helpful indeed.

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Yes, I think I have ASD symptoms now.  I had a mailman once who had a son with ASD and we had alot in common.  I asked him if his son was sensitive to noise and light now and he said, "Yes."
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That's interesting. My observation has been that autism is tougher to diagnose in females compared to males. I don't think that this is a controversial opinion. Personally, I think the difference is such that I doubt the reliability of diagnostic screening questionnaires that are aimed at the general population as being completely effective for females.

 

 

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Come to think of it, I think that spending time on BB could be a factor that skews towards the mediator type. It makes sense.

 

Is that perseverating? I brought up spirituality and you shared some thoughts and experiences. I am glad that you did because I have taken somewhat of an interest in Christian mysticism. Reading Carl Jung will do that to people! Is there a book on the history of Christian mysticism that you'd recommend to somebody like me? I am fascinated by the topic but apart from reading some books that touch upon the subject (such as Jung) and watching some YouTube videos, I haven't explored it further because it's not at all obvious where to start. Perhaps if you can recommend a book about the life of a mystic, that would be a good in? Or any other intro you'd recommend. Thanks  :).

 

I think a lot of it stems from the question you ask "What makes us tick differently from the rest?". I've come a long way in understanding what makes me tick and with that I have also come to understand how valuable a skill it is. Almost as a by-product of trying to understand myself, I have become pretty handy at figuring out what makes other people tick too. So I have this sense of having something that I want to communicate but not quite knowing how to do it. I think it's because I use my intuition more than I ever did in the past and I don't know how to translate the mechanics of this process into writing. I want to try and explain something that is not strictly rational, using words. I suppose this is why I am drawn to mysticism.

 

I know that if you're an INFJ, you can certainly relate to things being complicated. And you probably can understand the sensation of having knowledge of something without it being easy to explain. You're right about accepting that we're unique but I'll never get bored trying to hone in on why/how. This has been interesting and I thank you for sharing your thoughts. They are very helpful indeed.

 

Perseveration to can be repetitive behavior or focusing repeatedly on a stimulus or behavior or subject. Some people confuse it with OCD as they can share certain characteristics.

 

I don't know of any books on the history of Christian mysticism, only on the theology of it. And the theology comes from reading the writings of such mystics, of which Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross are the most well known. Teresa herself was highly influenced by a little known Franciscan friar who wrote a series of book which have since been lost save for one.  https://www.amazon.com/Francisco-Osuna-Spiritual-Spirituality-Paperback/dp/080912145X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=19UXUDE1VT8J7&dchild=1&keywords=the+third+spiritual+alphabet&qid=1618239725&sprefix=The+Third+Spiritual+%2Caps%2C331&sr=8-1 is the best translation. Teresa's copy still exists, and it was used for this translation. This book was influential on John of the Cross as well. These are all Catholic mystics. The only Protestant book that would fall into the realm of Mystical Theology would be Hannah Hurnards "Hinds Feet in High Places. It is very basic as it uses allegory. However, the author apostatized from accepted Christian doctrine later in her life. She embraced Gnosticism, pantheism and universalism. But her first book is still a Christian classic. If you want to delve in the heavy duty of mystical theology, The Three Ages of the Interior Life by Reginald Garrigou-LaGrange, of which there are two volumes. Long, very deep. draws from the lives of past mystics. 

 

I've not tried figuring out how others tic, I've accepted that most are Neurotypical, and I am Atypical. My Autism makes it hard to figure out others, since I can't fully relate to them, and they sometimes frustrate me. I have to be careful with feelings of empathy, because they overwhelm me, just like certain lights and sounds can be hard for me to deal with, and I have to retreat to a safe zone where I'm not overstimulated. I sense others pain, sorrow - even with animals. It's like that old original Star Trek episode "The Empath". I can feel it, but not put it into words, sometimes the words come out wrong, and make me sound unfeeling, even though I feel very deeply. Coming to BB can sometimes overwhelm me, so I may not respond to posts right away because my brain is just garbled, and I don't want to say the wrong thing.   

 

 

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Thanks a lot for the recommendations. I think I'm going to buy the book you linked. It will be a challenging read but I don't mind if some things go over my head. That's how to learn.  :)

 

I can very much relate to how you sense other people's emotions and feelings and having to escape because of how draining it can be. I've always had that side to me, it has been exaggerated at times during withdrawal. When I'm not sick, I just make sure that I get enough alone time to recharge and then I don't expect to become overwhelmed in social situations. It just drains me, is all, but I can still keep it together. But when I have been unwell, I've definitely had to get out of difficult situations before I have a meltdown. I wouldn't recommend it to anybody and can't quite say I am glad I went through such difficult times... but I can relate to my brother now in ways that I just couldn't before. I knew an autistic meltdown looked nasty but I've had something very much like it. I think I understand perseveration now, because I can cast my mind back to a time a little more than a year ago when I was having this problem. I compared it with OCD but perseveration fits better. I had other issues too that were more like OCD... but the constant looping on the same subject, rephrasing the same concepts over again, finding it very hard to stop myself. This is another reason I've become interested in spirituality in general and mysticism has caught my eye... because something terrible happened to me but I don't want to turn back time because that would erase this deep understanding that I have gained. I believe that I am going to continue to grow stronger and then I will have this sensitivity and be able to take on this energy and be able to handle it.

 

I believe, for what it is worth, that autistic people understand me more than they do people in general. In turn, I believe that I understand autistic people better than most people including many mental health professionals. Over the years, I have done some reading on the subject but I haven't studied the literature in depth. Frankly, I think there's a lot of ignorant rubbish out there! I am not anti-intellectual by any stretch but there's some stuff I just don't want to expose myself to because I don't want to make too much of a study out of my brother. Because of my nature, I can't help but pick up on things. If I learn too much about what others think about autism, it might influence how I treat my brother. But he doesn't want special treatment. He's quite sensitive to people making allowances for him that he thinks people wouldn't make for neurotypical people. Basically, sometimes people are a little too kind and having observed what he's talking about, I have to say I agree. He doesn't always read the room correctly though, some people just are always really kind and it kind of makes me uncomfortable too but I can see that is just how they are. I can feel that squirming feeling but it can keep myself together and I tend to make a joke if possible to lighten the mood in an attempt to feel more comfortable. This is why I don't consider myself to have autism, because this comes quite naturally to me. Sometimes my jokes bomb, I might misread the room, taking a risk that doesn't pay off. I consider that to be a sign that I have a personality. I like people who tell me what they really think. I try to set an example and hope it inspires others to do the same.

 

I have some strange cognitive symptoms, good and bad, that seem to be directly a result of the physiological and mental trauma on brain and mind. Like, I think I have something of a synaesthesia, especially with numbers. I acquired this recently. This happens to some people after a traumatic brain injury, they pick up acquired savantism. I think it's related to my experience of constant synchronicity. It's hard to be myself completely, these days. I want to tell people what's happened to me but I think it's too complicated and they will judge me as being a bit nuts if I try to explain. I am so conscious about not contradicting anybody else's world view.

 

Seriously don't worry about saying the wrong thing. I know what you mean though, I guess sometimes I can see myself getting pulled in and feeling a bit more emotionally charged as a result. And I know I need to give it a rest at that point because I am sure the quality of my posts goes down and I agree with the people who say that it matters what we say here perhaps more than in other forums. As long as I am not trying to upset someone, and I am mindful of offence, I think it'll be alright.

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The Third Spiritual Alphabet you may find an interesting read. Teresa of Avila write notes in the margins of her copy, and drew favorite symbols by passages that intrigued her.  If you can read Carl Jung, you should have no problem reading Francisco De Osuna. 

 

Also, being around your brother, and having the empathy component of Myers-Briggs may have helped you better understand your brother's Autism, and your intuition regarding him might be heightened by that. It sounds like you've tried to understand him, and you were able to pick up things about him that most Neurotypicals wouldn't be able to do. You better understand him, which helps you better understand other Atypical people.

 

Most Autistic adults don't think much of certain controversial therapies used for children, we are critical of organizations such as Autism Speaks, we aren't broken, resent therapies meant to fix us, we are just different. And we relate to Neurotypicals that understand and accept that. I wish I could go more into this, but W/D and it's effects are interfering with my normal thought process. You may not have an ASD, but you have the empathy and intuitive components that enable you to have an understanding, plus you have a sibling so you've seen what an ASD can look like. Your personality type has equipped you with abilities that most people don't have, because you fall in one of the rarer types. 

 

I hope I'm making sense, finding it hard to function brain-wise as well as physically. W/D sucks.

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The Third Spiritual Alphabet you may find an interesting read. Teresa of Avila write notes in the margins of her copy, and drew favorite symbols by passages that intrigued her.  If you can read Carl Jung, you should have no problem reading Francisco De Osuna. 

 

Also, being around your brother, and having the empathy component of Myers-Briggs may have helped you better understand your brother's Autism, and your intuition regarding him might be heightened by that. It sounds like you've tried to understand him, and you were able to pick up things about him that most Neurotypicals wouldn't be able to do. You better understand him, which helps you better understand other Atypical people.

 

Most Autistic adults don't think much of certain controversial therapies used for children, we are critical of organizations such as Autism Speaks, we aren't broken, resent therapies meant to fix us, we are just different. And we relate to Neurotypicals that understand and accept that. I wish I could go more into this, but W/D and it's effects are interfering with my normal thought process. You may not have an ASD, but you have the empathy and intuitive components that enable you to have an understanding, plus you have a sibling so you've seen what an ASD can look like. Your personality type has equipped you with abilities that most people don't have, because you fall in one of the rarer types. 

 

I hope I'm making sense, finding it hard to function brain-wise as well as physically. W/D sucks.

 

Excellent post, and thread  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

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Well, I think you're making perfect sense but I would say that since I see it exactly the same way as you described. I couldn't agree more with the comment that people who have autism are not broken and don't need fixing. I'd add, in addition to what you said, that my brother is older than me by only a couple of years. We grew up together and some people thought we were twins. So we have always had an understanding because of that. It's just really moved on in the last couple of years, as I have gone through this horrible journey and learned so much about myself which has in turn enabled me to more clearly see the world around me. So I always "got" him better than anybody else, now it's gone to a deeper level and I know this because we can talk about some really sensitive and difficult subjects without him getting upset with me. I treat him differently in the same way that I treat everybody in a unique, bespoke way. I'm being natural.

 

It's not that everybody who has autism or is atypical is the same. Not by any stretch. But I am significantly advantaged for having such a strong understanding of my bro. I believe quite strongly that the key to understanding is to have as few assumptions as possible but I see that the people who behave clumsily do so because they make more assumptions about someone who is not neurotypical.

 

I appreciate you sharing these thoughts and hope it didn't take too much out of you in your withdrawal state. You write well but I know that doesn't mean you're not suffering greatly. I could write fairly well when I was psychotic, even! Thanks again for the recommendations. If you think I can handle it on the basis that I can read Jung, then I'm happy to go for that. Cheers!

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