Anybody suffered with constant terror that has now eased? I need hope.

Is this normal? I’m 6 weeks out, I constantly feel dread, there’s not one moment in the day I feel relief unless I’m completely distracted and even then the dread finds it’s way in - as things are now I have no quality of life, I’m finding it more and more difficult to feign interest in other’s while suffering at work, nobody in my life is aware I’m going through this

 

I’m so close to taking a rescue dose or reinstating but I don’t think it would work, I think I’m already kindled and a rescue dose would prang my brain even more but I can’t see any way out of this, I don’t feel any improvements day to day, just brief periods where I can distract myself enough but I fear that’s getting harder each day, that soon this will consume me and I’ll have a major breakdown

 

I didn’t even go too hard, I was messing around for 3 months, this was not supposed to happen...

 

 

I would say that with all the C/T if  you reinstate you will have to do a slow taper but with a lot of symptoms.

 

I think you played with fired and now you have to wait for the fire to turn off...

 

I know how horrible it is by the way I have felt the same by going too fast...

 

It would be nice if you could share with someone close around you find some emotional support.

 

Hang in there , and don’t ever touch benzo again.

 

Every minute of your suffering you give you CNS time to heal.

 

Xx

 

 

Yes, I would say that’s normal at 6 weeks out.  I know how it feels.  Just constantly on edge, restless, with severe anxiety over nothing.  It’s awful.  I think a lot of BBs find this tones down after 2 or 3 months and then slowly eases after that.  At this point, I know there is little to do to manage it but eventually you’ll get to a point where it’s easier to deal with.  Then you’ll be able to identify what triggers the severe anxiety.

Yes I am feeling it right now haha. I have some stressors in my life that make me feel like I'm staring at a massive blank wall of fear.

 

I try to remember all the things I used to be scared of and feel dread about, but they passed. Right now I am safe, in my own apartment, with food and shelter. There is no monster, nothing to fear. Maybe thinking about all the things you've overcome and being mindful of your surroundings and blessings will help you feel safer.

 

Another thing that helps is knowing the brain doesn't like to feel such an unnatural state of fear either. It's either coaxing you now to "fix it" by taking more drugs again, or if no drugs are coming, it will fix it by itself by making more receptors. I heard that a lack of sleep actually triggers the brain to create more GABA receptors, I imagine it would be the same way with the feeling of dread created by a lack of healthy GABA receptors. The more fear you feel, the more your brain is healing.

 

Another thing is to keep practicing meditation and mindfulness. Even though you may be scared, you can distance yourself from the fear and choose what to focus on. The dread is just like a giant pile of mashed potatoes on your plate. Even if it is on your plate, you can choose to eat whatever else you want. It's there, you acknowledge it, but for now you'd like to eat something else, like a book or a youtube video.

 

Another silly thing I do is to anthromorphise some of my symptoms. "How lucky that chest pain has come and visited me again tonight! I'm not alone. Who else can have such a constant and reliable companion? You want all of my attention too? You are such a greedy friend." hahaha If you feel dread at the pharmacy, you can also talk to it, like "So you have come to visit me while waiting in line? Good, let's wait together."

I'm at 6.5 months off and my anxiety is now a constant background grind, rather than in your face. I pray it will end soon.

Yes I am feeling it right now haha. I have some stressors in my life that make me feel like I'm staring at a massive blank wall of fear.

 

I try to remember all the things I used to be scared of and feel dread about, but they passed. Right now I am safe, in my own apartment, with food and shelter. There is no monster, nothing to fear. Maybe thinking about all the things you've overcome and being mindful of your surroundings and blessings will help you feel safer.

 

Another thing that helps is knowing the brain doesn't like to feel such an unnatural state of fear either. It's either coaxing you now to "fix it" by taking more drugs again, or if no drugs are coming, it will fix it by itself by making more receptors. I heard that a lack of sleep actually triggers the brain to create more GABA receptors, I imagine it would be the same way with the feeling of dread created by a lack of healthy GABA receptors. The more fear you feel, the more your brain is healing.

 

Another thing is to keep practicing meditation and mindfulness. Even though you may be scared, you can distance yourself from the fear and choose what to focus on. The dread is just like a giant pile of mashed potatoes on your plate. Even if it is on your plate, you can choose to eat whatever else you want. It's there, you acknowledge it, but for now you'd like to eat something else, like a book or a youtube video.

 

Another silly thing I do is to anthromorphise some of my symptoms. "How lucky that chest pain has come and visited me again tonight! I'm not alone. Who else can have such a constant and reliable companion? You want all of my attention too? You are such a greedy friend." hahaha If you feel dread at the pharmacy, you can also talk to it, like "So you have come to visit me while waiting in line? Good, let's wait together."

 

Yes! This is my attitude to this sort of stuff, I did this with sleep paralysis visuals I had wayyy before ever taking benzos, the fear soon dissipated.

 

I like this, thank you!

 

I'm at 6.5 months off and my anxiety is now a constant background grind, rather than in your face. I pray it will end soon.

 

Yes, I do think mine has become a little more of a background grind too compared to when I posted this a couple weeks back, though the in your face stuff does keep coming back around to say hello every few hours for a few minutes. It’s like you can only be scared for so long, eventually your body just goes into cope mode and you’re not so immediately bothered by it anymore.

 

I find the pangs of dread the worst aspect of the anxiety right now.

Hi guys,

 

I wanted to know if the anxiety you are experiencing is only physical or is it linked to your thoughts ?

 

 

I have huge anxiety at times and it is triggered and entertained by the fear of the withdrawal and the « ptsd » because I have been tapering too fast . Also fear of the stories I read on the forum...

 

So was wondering if it is mostly my anxiety disorder , and obsession about problems and looping thoughts , or if it the withdrawal and the change in my brain or if it is a mix of both...

 

It is my most distressing symptoms thoughts and anxiety about thoughts and need to know if s

I should act on calming those thoughts with more help because it puts me down and almost want to go to the hospital because it is so distressing at times. And I become more and more mentally exhausted.

 

Xx

My anxiety is centered on the fear that I will lose control and go crazy. I have internal tension all the time that I am having to distract myself from. I need it to end...

How unfortunate these intrusive thoughts are so extreme, yet have no meaning. I'm sorry to see this, though it is not uncommon.

I just wanted to say that my anxiety is easing up a ton over the past week, so things can turn around. This has happened to me many times, but the bad isn't quite as bad and the good is better. The trend is towards healing, it is just maddeningly slow and non-linear. I have now gotten to the point where I can talk myself out of the fears, which is huge.

 

I lived in a lot of terror for a long time, but each time it returns it is less and less. I have to have faith that the brain heals and this will pass.

 

I recommend considering sublingual flumazenil. I have seen much improvement since starting. Your doctor can call it in for you to a compounding pharmacy. There are 2 in Georgia who do this. I am getting mine tomorrow (until now have been using a research chemical version from a trusted source).

I just wanted to say that my anxiety is easing up a ton over the past week, so things can turn around. This has happened to me many times, but the bad isn't quite as bad and the good is better. The trend is towards healing, it is just maddeningly slow and non-linear. I have now gotten to the point where I can talk myself out of the fears, which is huge.

 

I lived in a lot of terror for a long time, but each time it returns it is less and less. I have to have faith that the brain heals and this will pass.

 

I recommend considering sublingual flumazenil. I have seen much improvement since starting. Your doctor can call it in for you to a compounding pharmacy. There are 2 in Georgia who do this. I am getting mine tomorrow (until now have been using a research chemical version from a trusted source).

 

Despite being a good few months behind you, I do relate to this to some degree.

 

It’s been over a month since my original post, at that point 6 weeks out I had a good long stint of constant fear. Since then each of my bad waves of anxiety have generally lasted around 3-4 days before easing, though even when eased the dread still creeps in, that feels more like depression/agoraphobia/intrusive thoughts though as apposed to stomach churning buzzing anxiety.

 

I say I can relate but I still have an intense fear during these waves that things are spiralling out of my control, as you touched on earlier in the thread, this fear centres around things potentially getting significantly worse than the last wave and me becoming incapacitated with fear/DR whilst at work or in public, I guess that’s natural when anyone has a panic attack or is on the verge of a panic attack. This did happen to me a few weeks back where I seemed to go beyond anything I’d felt before where I had to leave work and spend a couple of days in the dark in bed.

 

I’ve looked into flumazenil and I hope you experience prolonged relief, I’ve scared myself from trying anything new for a while now after having a severe spike in symptoms for a few days after going on Prozac a week or so ago.

kojack, you did take quite a lot of Prozac. The good news is that as it leaves your system, it is leaving good things in its wake, mainly an increase in the calming neurosteroid allopregnanolone. So if you had to suffer an SSRI side-effect, at least it will leave some residual benefits.

 

I am really happy to say that while 2mg Prozac made me crazy (I don't know how you took 20mg!), Zoloft at 5mg has been great. I feel calm, unlike Prozac.

 

I am on day 4 of flumazenil every 4 hours lozenge, every 2 hours lotion. The first 2 days were harder as I would get a flare of anxiety and dizziness for 1/2hr to 1 hr and then calm after that. The flares I had to go out for a walk, but they passed. I was pretty aggressive though in how much I started with, many might start a bit slower. However, today, I had no reaction to the flumazenil, and I had the absolute best day I have ever had since this started. I was calm, a felt no anxiety, I felt like ME! I couldn't believe it, as I am usually somewhat tortured with background anxiety, even during a calmer day. I have no idea if it will last, or what tomorrow brings but it was incredibly encouraging. I am astonished, especially since I didn't sleep that well so expected a not great day.

 

Hang in there - it gets so much better.

Hi fluffer,

 

Can I ask where you got the flumazenil lozenges? I'm guessing they are prescription only? Swore I wasn't going to try anything new, but I'm so over this shit!

Hey Fluff

 

I tried Zoloft , as you see in my signature for 2 days, at 12,5mg ( was in patient couldnt ask less) . first day i felt super calm after the pill ( and it is not in my head as i was scared to take it) but second day I had horrible burning and inner akathisia like hell.

 

I also had a reaction last time i wanted to take back Lexapro ( before benzo) so wondering if my body reject the AD and have to listen to it or i have to try building it up from a very very low dose...

 

At how much did you start it ?

CarlaCarla, I only take 2.5mg a day. I cut my pill based on weight using a sensitive scale. It is all that I can take - even 5mg gives me bad dreams. I think it helps, but it is really hard to say. It seems hard to tell if anything works. I think the best results that I have had so far have been baclofen. I have tried it (4 days, did well then tapered off and symptoms came back) and restarted. I am now getting better again. If I heal with baclofen, I don't care if I have to take it forever (unlikely). I just need to feel better.