One Year and Counting!

Today marks my one year anniversary from my last dose of Valium!  As so many BBs have shared, I expected to be fully recovered/healed at 3 months, 6 months, one year.  Nope   Have I seen improvements and enjoyed windows?  Yes. In looking back I seem to have been lucky to have experienced quite a few windows in the early months, with waves surfing in and out!  I suffered with the usual night sweats, insomnia, benzo flu, bad headaches/pressure/burning and GI issues on a pretty regular basis, but usually survived by having windows in the evenings.  I posted on this board at nine months that I believed that I was heading to healing after having a couple of weeks of feeling good.  CHRISTMAS was wonderful and I was able to enjoy everything about the holidays that I had missed the previous two years.  Fast forward to mid-January which brought a wave that has been long and awful; a return to some acute symptoms, I.e., GI issues, night sweats, benzo flu, and really painful headaches.  My main symptom and the reason I was given Valium is the burning head/pressure/vice like pain, that does wax and wane.  Last week I had three days in a row with no symptoms and was feeling really good.  This week I have been dealing with nausea and head pain and brain buzzing.  Because of the longevity and severity of my head symptoms, I have had at least four MRI’s with and without contrast, all showing a normal, healthy brain.  I was scheduled to have an MRA last week, but was unable to keep the appointment due to being symptomatic!  My neurologist just wanted to make sure nothing else is going on with my vascular system...blockage, brain bleed, aneurism.  He thinks this is not probable as my cognitive functions are completely normal and I don’t present with the symptoms that would indicate my having a vascular issue.  So here I am lying in bed this morning with a blazing headache, which could be because of the rain or a reaction to my second dose of the Pfizer vaccination?  I was nauseous all day yesterday, but that has not reared it’s ugly head so far today.  I am staying positive because that is my nature and one that will see me through the remainder of my benzo withdrawal journey!!!!!!

Oh dear Garden!!

 

Congrats on your one year journey!!

I know that you are no where near where you want to be, but your hopeful attitude will get you to the other side of this.

You are always cheering on others, even while you sit there in pain.

 

Your time will come and I know that it will be soon.

You know that I have similar issues with the headaches, so I know how hard this has been for you, even though you're so cheery all the time.

 

You are one year off the poison, so that is amazing!!

 

Hugs,

Winnie

Hi Winnie.  We do share the pain of the brain, don’t we?  And tit for tat, I always welcome your feedback and voice of reason when I am either up down or all around.  Thank you for just being you!  How are your headaches?  I know my neck muscles are tight today, so just used a heated lavender infused pillow to try to relax the muscles and give me a modicum of relief.  So weird...yesterday no headache but awful nausea, and today no nausea but bad headache!  Each day is chock full of surprises and as Forest Gump so innocently proclaimed.....life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get.  Healing blessings, Winnie

Congrats gg. Kudos to you for being closer to the one day finish line.

 

You deserve all the best.

 

Kanoba

Hi Kanoba.  I see that you are a fellow headache sufferer!  We have exchanged posts before re this awful pain cycle we seem to be trapped in.  Yesterday no headache, last week three days of no headache, and then wake up today to awful vice like, burning, stabbing headache!  Yesterday nausea all day, today no nausea.  Beyond belief and no use trying to figure it out.  I had cancelled my MRA due to symptoms two weeks ago, but my neurologist said to go ahead and have it done just to rule out any vascular issues!  So, will schedule it for next week, and just keep praying that this symptom will fade away.....sooner than later!  How are your headaches now??

I still am in the cycle of headaches at night until morning then repeat! Still hopeful for the  both of us, GG you keep me going!!

 

 

 

Yes, Kanoba, let’s keep each other going for however long it takes🙏🙏🙏😊😊😊😊

I still sleep with ice on my head, is that what you two do as well?

 

I can't take aspirin, advil or tylenol, and they never really touched these headaches anyway.

 

I can't believe that there is nothing that can help!

 

I tried a migraine helmet, where you put ice in it and put it on, but it weighed  my head down too much and I felt like I'd fall over.

 

I really can't imagine living with a headache everyday for the rest of my life?

 

I'd really like to get back to work someday......

 

Winnie

Hi Winnie.  Have you ever been diagnosed with a certain type of headache....migraine, tension, cluster?  Did you suffer with headaches before taking a benzo?  I have been told that my headaches are of the tension type, but also that the burning pain is from the nerve endings trying to regenerate under the scalp.....told by my neurologist.  Do your headaches come and go, or just stay with you all the time?  I have done the ice packs and they do seem to help sometimes.  I must admit that I ate some ginger cookies yesterday thinking they would help with the nausea, also knowing full well that they are filled with sugar.  I feel like my headache today is from the sugar splurge, so I earned it!!!!!  I was not having headaches before my benzo intake, so, hopefully, they will fade out as time marches on.  I wish the same for you!!!!!

Never had these headaches before in my life!

Some seem to be hormonal in nature etc.

But the others are like the tight band headache.

I used to get the occasional headache before benzo, like if it was humid outside, but Advil always took it away.

Ever since I took antibiotics in the spring, I now appear to be allergic to a ton of medicines that I used to be fine with.

Never even used ativan until I took the antibiotics, they created shear out right panic and all day anxiety in me for no reason.

 

anyway, this thread is about you! and congratulating you on your one year.

 

Winnie

Thanks, Winnie, for sharing and caring