7 months on the 20th .. I don’t feel anything except fear sometimes

I don’t really have symptoms anymore except insomnia then crippling fear

 

I have zero sex drive, have to fake having fun, playing with my son.

 

Have to pretty much fake everything and that gets exhausting.

 

Symptom wise though I’m doing great! But I can’t celebrate due to this crippling depression that I’ve never experienced

The good thing I read in your post was the fact that you've not suffered from depression in the past, this tells me it's the drug and when you recover this symptom will leave you. 

 

The loss of joy is a symptom just like all the rest of them so while you're not suffering from physical symptoms at the moment, you're still not recovered so don't lose hope and decide this is you from now on, its not.

 

Your joy will return and I'm assuming your sex drive will as well.  I've heard members say they're hyper sexual during this time so pick your poison but most return to their normal state when they recover. 

 

Keep faking it and one of these days you're going to be amazed to realize you're not faking it anymore, the laughter and joy will have returned.

Tubthumpin, I find depression comes and goes (I didn't have this before). I had the emotional numb feeling on and off. I finally stopped pressuring myself to "feel" and that helped.