Healing does happen...Update @ 29 months off

Hi All,

 

I have not been on in a long while, which is obviously a good thing as benzo withdrawal is no longer at the forefront of my mind.  I was a short-term user, but obviously protracted as I am not yet 100% healed, but am getting there as more times passes by.  I'm experiencing more good days than bad ones, which is AMAZING!!!

 

I can safely say that all the horrible symptoms I experienced while titrating and afterwards have gone away or greatly improved.  No longer do I have extreme anxiety, dark depression due to the meds (crying my eyes out), extreme insomnia, burning skin, eye twitches, muscle twitches, dry eyes, raging headaches/head pain, dizziness, horrible body pain, fear or sensitivity to light.

 

Like others have said, with time, the symptoms have slowly faded or vanished.  My last remaining issue is sleep.  While it has improved, I am not where I was.  I could easily sleep 8 hours a night.  Sleep was my thing before I had the panic attack.  Now I am averaging about 5-6 hours.  I've read from other survivors that with time their sleep improved - going from 0, to 1-2, then 3-4, then 4-5, 5-6, 6-7 and so on.

 

At my worst, I experienced multiple nights of zero sleep until my body would finally cave in and sleep.  After I jumped, it was sleep 1 night and not the next.  Then I started to maybe get 2 nights in a row, then a bad night.  I am now in a stage where I am seeing several nights of better sleep with maybe 2-3 bad nights a month.  Huge improvement!  It's mostly broken sleep, but sometimes it's solid.  In general, my days are becoming more and more productive.  I'm doing things that were second nature to me before that I couldn't even dream of doing a year or 2 ago.  I really do feel my brain and GABA receptors need more time to heal.

 

I've learned a lot about sleep through CBT-I and ACT-I.  ACT-I in particular helps you learn to come to a place of acceptance.  You cannot control sleep through pills, supplements, devices, etc.  It is a natural biological process that we are all capable of.  Sleep is pretty much controlled by 2 things: 1) sleep drive (gas) and 2) hyper-arousal (the brake).  If hyper-arousal is too high, you will not sleep.  Of course, I believe that there are physiological things that can impact sleep too, which must be ruled out.  I try to meditate (not mindfulness) as much as possible as I definitely see a difference when I do this on a regular basis.  I plan to get back to practicing yoga on a daily basis.

 

During withdrawal, I watched what I ate and eliminated all of the usual suspects (gluten, msg, additives, sugar, etc.).  I've since relaxed my diet and thanks to COVID, I've gained about 30 unwanted pounds.  I'm looking into going back to my earlier diet as I believe it would be a tremendous help.  I don't know if I can go 100% KETO, but perhaps more low-carb, good fats and proteins will do the trick. 

 

I sincerely hope that someday in the future I can come back and write a bona-fide success story.  For me, that will occur when I can sleep solidly most every night, sleep when I want, easily travel to different times zones and take a nap if I'd like to.  Til then, I'm going to do my best to follow the pillars taught by Dr. Jennifer Leigh - move often, eat well, stress less and love more.

 

Wishing everyone continued healing!!!

 

Best,

Courtney 

 

 

Courtney, it sounds like you are almost there, and this is wonderful!  Acceptance of how long this process can take is still something I’m working on. Thank you for the update and wishing you well as you continue to heal.

Thanku so much for writing this. I’m suffering the horrible insomnia right now. Do to read this has helped me so much x Thanku

Hi All,

 

I have not been on in a long while, which is obviously a good thing as benzo withdrawal is no longer at the forefront of my mind.  I was a short-term user, but obviously protracted as I am not yet 100% healed, but am getting there as more times passes by.  I'm experiencing more good days than bad ones, which is AMAZING!!!

 

I can safely say that all the horrible symptoms I experienced while titrating and afterwards have gone away or greatly improved.  No longer do I have extreme anxiety, dark depression due to the meds (crying my eyes out), extreme insomnia, burning skin, eye twitches, muscle twitches, dry eyes, raging headaches/head pain, dizziness, horrible body pain, fear or sensitivity to light.

 

Like others have said, with time, the symptoms have slowly faded or vanished.  My last remaining issue is sleep.  While it has improved, I am not where I was.  I could easily sleep 8 hours a night.  Sleep was my thing before I had the panic attack.  Now I am averaging about 5-6 hours.  I've read from other survivors that with time their sleep improved - going from 0, to 1-2, then 3-4, then 4-5, 5-6, 6-7 and so on.

 

At my worst, I experienced multiple nights of zero sleep until my body would finally cave in and sleep.  After I jumped, it was sleep 1 night and not the next.  Then I started to maybe get 2 nights in a row, then a bad night.  I am now in a stage where I am seeing several nights of better sleep with maybe 2-3 bad nights a month.  Huge improvement!  It's mostly broken sleep, but sometimes it's solid.  In general, my days are becoming more and more productive.  I'm doing things that were second nature to me before that I couldn't even dream of doing a year or 2 ago.  I really do feel my brain and GABA receptors need more time to heal.

 

I've learned a lot about sleep through CBT-I and ACT-I.  ACT-I in particular helps you learn to come to a place of acceptance.  You cannot control sleep through pills, supplements, devices, etc.  It is a natural biological process that we are all capable of.  Sleep is pretty much controlled by 2 things: 1) sleep drive (gas) and 2) hyper-arousal (the brake).  If hyper-arousal is too high, you will not sleep.  Of course, I believe that there are physiological things that can impact sleep too, which must be ruled out.  I try to meditate (not mindfulness) as much as possible as I definitely see a difference when I do this on a regular basis.  I plan to get back to practicing yoga on a daily basis.

 

During withdrawal, I watched what I ate and eliminated all of the usual suspects (gluten, msg, additives, sugar, etc.).  I've since relaxed my diet and thanks to COVID, I've gained about 30 unwanted pounds.  I'm looking into going back to my earlier diet as I believe it would be a tremendous help.  I don't know if I can go 100% KETO, but perhaps more low-carb, good fats and proteins will do the trick. 

 

I sincerely hope that someday in the future I can come back and write a bona-fide success story.  For me, that will occur when I can sleep solidly most every night, sleep when I want, easily travel to different times zones and take a nap if I'd like to.  Til then, I'm going to do my best to follow the pillars taught by Dr. Jennifer Leigh - move often, eat well, stress less and love more.

 

Wishing everyone continued healing!!!

 

Best,

Courtney

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When did you notice any real improvement?I'm 26 months off all symptoms are mental. Got lot worse recently all due to lot family issues. Prior to that no improvement but just seemed to stay the same. Glad you have nearly recovered, I'm loosing hope a bit!

Thx Courtney for sharing this! I'm happy for you. I know you'll continue to improve. 

Hi congratulations on your recovery & journey. I will be trying out the keto paleo diet along with fasting to see if it accelerate my healing. I am ready for this nightmare to end. This gives us so much hope 

Well done.

How is your TMJ stuff?

Courtney,

 

I’m loving your story! It does seem like you are almost there. After all you have experienced and all those symptoms to have faded is like inspiring.

All those things didn’t dissipate until you had jumped…

Well, that is my hope. You have 1mg. of Valium left and 150 XR of bupropion ). I was poly-drugged up da wazoo! How I survived I do not know.

My most troubling symptom is balance ( I have to hold onto the wall to stand… oh, also numbness and red feet ). Sucks.

Well, enough about me… let’s talk about you… you Rock!

 

HopeFull01

 

How are you doing now ?