What is functional?

I hear a lot of talk about holding a cut/dose until someone is functional.  What does this mean in the benzo community?  Functional is a relative word. It means different things to different people.  Does it mean just being able to go to the bathroom and brush your teeth.  Does it mean being able to go to work and be productive.  I assume in most of our cases it is somewhere in between just being able to get out of bed and do simple hygiene tasks and being back to work at a somewhat capable ability.  It all has to due with the symptoms and the severity of them.  I am only asking because I meet with my doctor tomorrow and want to discuss my tapering plan with her. I want to talk to her about my cuts and holding them until I am somewhat functional.  I was taking about 2mg a day of clonazepam for about 4 months. Previously I was on 3-4 mg of Ativan for 9 years and quit cold Turkey with barley any symptoms and was off for 2 years before reinstating because of debilitating panic attacks. I tried cold Turkey again and had terrible symptoms, so I decided to start again with a slow taper. I have gotten down to 1mg per day in the last month or so and am going to start at .875 a day tomorrow.  Just wanted to hear any thoughts about being functional if/when she asks me what that is. Thanks

I think functional has levels.

 

If all you're able to do is use the bathroom and type messages to BB, that's functionality, but not much.  Let's call it a 2/10.  [1/10 is comatose; 0/10 is dead].

 

If you can cook and do laundry and read the mail/pay the bills, but maybe can't leave the house or can't work, that's more functionality than being bed-bound - so maybe a 4/10 or 5/10.

 

If you can drive/shop/work/parent, but feel crappy, maybe that's a 6 or 7 out of 10.  You get higher ratings with more functionality (such as being able to have fun or feel joy).

 

I would argue that the size of your cut should be based on your level of functionality.  Probably no cut if you're 2/10 functional.  Perhaps your full normal cut if you're a 7 or above.  Maybe a compromised cut if you're a 4 or 5 or 6.

 

Hope this makes sense.

badsocref, that is such a great description and how I would describe it too. I'll add a little more.

 

I rank my mood/functional 1-10 every day and record it. It usually ranges from a 3-4 to an 8.  The difference for me is hope vs negativity and that line is 5. That's the first thing I ask in the morning. Am I going to get better? Do I want to do a certain thing in the future?

 

Negative Side

2-little hope, depressed, want to stay in house, not thinking of future. Need to take breaks from work or can't focus at all. Not too functional socially. Avoid calls. Obsessing and can't even focus on watching TV. It's rare I hit this stage. Don't want to drive. Not eating or sleeping well. Wake up with sadness and go to bed with sadness always on your mind.

3-Just down, low mood. When is this going to end? Lack of hope. Some social anxiety. Can leave house and talk to people but don't really want to. Might have sensory issues if go to store. Probably don't sleep well. Little initiative to do anything now or in future (e.g. I was invited to a friends house. Will I be able to socialize for the night?)

4. I can deal with this but life is a bummer. Need to break through but the negatives win. Bring on the netflix as that's my down time to take mind off of things. That's someting that is harder at 2-3. Just about fully functional in work but not a ton of initiative.

5. Bordering positive and negative. Can go through the motions but mind is in a low mood. Future thinking isn't there as can only focus on today.

6. Low mood but have some hope. The "things will get better" is something I can actually believe but not there yet.

7.  More positive than negative and can see hope that I'll get better. Things still on my mind but can smile, laugh, etc. Can think of future like planning a family vacation. Can really do anything but joy isn't there.

8. Feel really positive and know I'm getting better. But know I am not there yet. Still underlying anxiety and down feelings but those are too the side. To the outside world, can completely relate

9. Can go most of day without feeling you are having issues.

10. Fully recovered

 

 

 

 

badsocref, that is such a great description and how I would describe it too. I'll add a little more.

 

I rank my mood/functional 1-10 every day and record it. It usually ranges from a 3-4 to an 8.  The difference for me is hope vs negativity and that line is 5. That's the first thing I ask in the morning. Am I going to get better? Do I want to do a certain thing in the future?

 

Negative Side

2-little hope, depressed, want to stay in house, not thinking of future. Need to take breaks from work or can't focus at all. Not too functional socially. Avoid calls. Obsessing and can't even focus on watching TV. It's rare I hit this stage. Don't want to drive. Not eating or sleeping well. Wake up with sadness and go to bed with sadness always on your mind.

3-Just down, low mood. When is this going to end? Lack of hope. Some social anxiety. Can leave house and talk to people but don't really want to. Might have sensory issues if go to store. Probably don't sleep well. Little initiative to do anything now or in future (e.g. I was invited to a friends house. Will I be able to socialize for the night?)

4. I can deal with this but life is a bummer. Need to break through but the negatives win. Bring on the netflix as that's my down time to take mind off of things. That's someting that is harder at 2-3. Just about fully functional in work but not a ton of initiative.

5. Bordering positive and negative. Can go through the motions but mind is in a low mood. Future thinking isn't there as can only focus on today.

6. Low mood but have some hope. The "things will get better" is something I can actually believe but not there yet.

7.  More positive than negative and can see hope that I'll get better. Things still on my mind but can smile, laugh, etc. Can think of future like planning a family vacation. Can really do anything but joy isn't there.

8. Feel really positive and know I'm getting better. But know I am not there yet. Still underlying anxiety and down feelings but those are too the side. To the outside world, can completely relate

9. Can go most of day without feeling you are having issues.

10. Fully recovered

 

I love this, I hope it's okay with you if I copy it and provide it to other members as a tool in their recovery.

You bet Pamster. Some thing I would add to #3. When sitting at dinner w family, looking forward to when dinner is over as it’s hard to stay engaged... and that makes you sad.

 

Btw, I was mostly an 8 today so hopefully the trend continues.

Thanks badsocref for the input. I will use this scale of functionality for a reference from now on. You answered my question on being functional.

Am I the only one who spends more days feeling like no

2 than not?

Am I the only one who spends more days feeling like no

2 than not?

 

So by my thinking, you shouldn't continue to taper until you can better deal with the withdrawal symptoms you're already confronting.

 

Thank you Badsocref. Your answer is helpful to me too. I have been a 2 (bedridden a lot) since I hit 3mg and didn't realise that I have not been 'functional' for cutting purposes since then at all.

 

I thought better days when I can lie on the couch and watch telly were within the acceptable suffering level to make a cut as I compared that to brutal days in bed. It's too late for my taper now which was clearly too fast for my body but your easy to understand scale (my brain can't hold a thought well/short circuits a lot now so brief is essential! ) will help me track my healing.  👍

 

TouchdownIrish. Thanks for asking the question. I only found BBs when I hit the wall at 1mg so my brain was already too fried to ask the right questions or post much at all. I read but can't draw thoughts together most of the time.

 

Deadmanwalking I haven't got above a 2 since October ish (all very hazy) so you are not alone. I haven't been out at all as bad agoraphobia has set in too. Hoping you get more days above a 2 very soon.

 

Roxy

Functionality is all relative.  I work, parent, and do things because I have to for my family.  Everything sucks all the time but somehow I manage to get through it.  I would say my mood/thinking is generally at a 3 using the list a BB provided above, but I can still do lots of things.

 

I would say I’m barely functional though.  I have a structure in place (working, getting kids ready for school, dropping off / picking up from school, doing dishes, laundry, etc) that basically says here is what you have to do, now do it.  I can’t think beyond the current moment though.  Just surviving one minute to the next.  Thank goodness my wife plans everything.  But, I’m at least able to show up which is half the battle.  Without that structure though, I wouldn’t be doing much of anything.  My wife plans social stuff (which I never enjoy) but I can handle things in small chunks.  Still getting out has desensitized me to a lot of things, although I’ve had two years of practice at this.

 

When you feel you have no choice, it’s surprising what you can do.

Deadmanwalking most of my days since October 2020 have been 2-3 😥 I am holding now hopefully until I get to7-8.  I didn't know what functional really meant until reading this thread.  I just thought it was feeling not quite as bad so I just kept on...not a good idea.

Deadmanwalking most of my days since October 2020 have been 2-3 😥 I am holding now hopefully until I get to7-8.  I didn't know what functional really meant until reading this thread.  I just thought it was feeling not quite as bad so I just kept on...not a good idea.

 

The idea of a responsible taper rate is to not become bed-bound.  Once you drop below a 4 or so you probably shouldn't continue tapering until you're somewhat recovered.  fwiw - djej2010 - I'd give you more than a '3' given all of the daily tasks you're completing.  Yeah, I know you feel lousy, but you're pretty functional.

Functionality is all relative.  I work, parent, and do things because I have to for my family.  Everything sucks all the time but somehow I manage to get through it.  I would say my mood/thinking is generally at a 3 using the list a BB provided above, but I can still do lots of things.

 

I would say I’m barely functional though.  I have a structure in place (working, getting kids ready for school, dropping off / picking up from school, doing dishes, laundry, etc) that basically says here is what you have to do, now do it.  I can’t think beyond the current moment though.  Just surviving one minute to the next.  Thank goodness my wife plans everything.  But, I’m at least able to show up which is half the battle.  Without that structure though, I wouldn’t be doing much of anything.  My wife plans social stuff (which I never enjoy) but I can handle things in small chunks.  Still getting out has desensitized me to a lot of things, although I’ve had two years of practice at this.

 

When you feel you have no choice, it’s surprising what you can do.

 

 

I see references being made many times that people have no choice so they must work and do other activities because they have a family but this just isn't an option for some who are really physically ill.

I have a family too but can not work at all right now because of some symptoms that are just too dangerous to "push through" my job isn't something you can just be present at and float through the day waiting for the time to pass. I'm extremely dizzy, absent minded, blurry vision, when I stand I have severe tachycardia that can hit 130 - 150 if I'm approached by any stress at all and blood pressure spikes that can reach 170+ my nervous system is just too fragile to even leave the house let alone work...on a good day I cook dinner and can watch some tv with the family but most days I have to keep myself locked in my room and lay in bed motionless just to survive and come out of this in one piece.

Functionality is all relative.  I work, parent, and do things because I have to for my family.  Everything sucks all the time but somehow I manage to get through it.  I would say my mood/thinking is generally at a 3 using the list a BB provided above, but I can still do lots of things.

 

I would say I’m barely functional though.  I have a structure in place (working, getting kids ready for school, dropping off / picking up from school, doing dishes, laundry, etc) that basically says here is what you have to do, now do it.  I can’t think beyond the current moment though.  Just surviving one minute to the next.  Thank goodness my wife plans everything.  But, I’m at least able to show up which is half the battle.  Without that structure though, I wouldn’t be doing much of anything.  My wife plans social stuff (which I never enjoy) but I can handle things in small chunks.  Still getting out has desensitized me to a lot of things, although I’ve had two years of practice at this.

 

When you feel you have no choice, it’s surprising what you can do.

 

 

I see references being made many times that people have no choice so they must work and do other activities because they have a family but this just isn't an option for some who are really physically ill.

I have a family too but can not work at all right now because of some symptoms that are just too dangerous to "push through" my job isn't something you can just be present at and float through the day waiting for the time to pass. I'm extremely dizzy, absent minded, blurry vision, when I stand I have severe tachycardia that can hit 130 - 150 if I'm approached by any stress at all and blood pressure spikes that can reach 170+ my nervous system is just too fragile to even leave the house let alone work...on a good day I cook dinner and can watch some tv with the family but most days I have to keep myself locked in my room and lay in bed motionless just to survive and come out of this in one piece.

 

Sorry if you thought I was minimizing others’ symptoms.  That was not my intent.  Most of my symptoms are mental and cognitive, although I do have lots of head/face pressure and headaches, the inner body buzz, some mild nerve type pain, and sensory issues (some dizziness, slowed visual/audio processing, depth perception issues).  But, I can move just fine. 

 

Twice I’ve seriously thought about going on disability at work for the acute anxiety, depression and cognitive problems but thankfully, I’ve rebounded somewhat and have dodged that.  I know there are a people here who really can’t function.  However, I do think there are some folks who have become so beaten down by withdrawal that it takes a serious mental toll.  I get it.  And it’s hard to get out of that comfort zone.