Struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel - help!

Hi everyone,

 

I’m 14 months since jumping. Just rode a huge wave with anxiety/impending doom being the worst symptoms.  I could really use some encourage my that this will indeed end & one say it will be over,  I’m trying to stay positive as much as I can but it’s so so hard when my mind spirals. 

 

Thanks so much.

Help - I’ve woke. Up in sheer terror - huge anxiety & impending doom.  I’m so so frightened,  Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks so much

Bess55, I am so sorry that you are struggling. I so understand. Anxiety is the thing that I hate the most with the exception of despondent depression, which is even a little worse. Until a few nights ago, I was awoken by a jolt out of my sleep with panic attacks - awful. I am going to include what I do for all of this - please disregard it though if you don't want to take supplements and things. Just noting it in case it is helpful!

 

I think I've responded to another of your posts as well during this wave. I have been having a rollercoaster too, and totally understand how awful these waves are. I can tell you the things I use for anxiety that seem to be helping, as I have recently had a lot less. I am not sure it will last, but I am 6 days from my period and had no anxiety and just some dysphoria and brain fog today. Not pleasant, but doable and beats the ten day wave I had last month started 7 days prior and lasting to 3 days after.

 

Anyway, I know many people are sensitive, so in no way am I saying do all of this. Just saying what works for me after trying everything. Please note that I do not subscribe to the avoidance of herbals that interact with GABA. As long as there is no evidence that they break the receptor, and none do, calming the brain in my opinion, is healing. I haven't healed yet, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

I am a problem solver, so forgive me if you don't want this advice. Please feel free to disregard. I use the following anxiety stack upon waking and at noon as this is when I have the most anxiety. It takes a lot of herbals to make any dent, that's why so many. I take them consistently, so that they can work continuously. I will provide reasons. My references are collected in a giant jumble, but I am always willing to dig them up for anyone who likes.

 

1) DHH-B x 2 capsules from tailor made. Acts on GABA receptors but not alpha receptors like benzos. It acts mostly on omega receptors that help to keep background GABA stable. Also increases production of GABA and heals the brain via GAD 67 I believe. It is made from Honokiol which is derived from magnolia.

2) Jujube 1 capsule from Swanson - Incredible brain protector and may increase the expression of GABA receptors

3) Gotu Kola 2 capsules (can't remember brand) - increases the production of GABA via GAD 67 I believe

4) PharmaGABA 500mg (Thorne) - may help some GABA get into the brain, there is some debate

5) Skullcap tincture x 2 droppers - protects the brain and acts on GABA alpha 2 / 3 receptors. These receptors are not associated with tolerance or withdrawal and are responsible for reducing anxiety. I hold it under my tongue.

 

I use the following anxiety stack at night and when I wake up at 3am:

1) Valerian tincture - 1 syringe - increases GABA levels I believe by decreasing GABA breakdown

2) Lemon balm tincture - 1 syringe - increases GABA by increasing production via GAD

3) Tilia tomentosa - 12.5ml - binds to GABA receptors, poorly understood so avoid if you are concerned, though it has been used 1000s of years by native peoples

4) CBD 10 - 25mg - Helps to reset GABA receptors

5) THC (indica Blueberry OG) approx 8mg - at low doses, reduces glutamate (at high doses, reduces GABA so be careful!)

 

I also started increasing my T3 (thyroid hormone) with tiny doses of cortisol. T3 is a GABA reuptake inhibitor and cortisol is needed for it to reach the cells.

 

I also have tried also hydroxyzine for panic and anxiety with varying results, but I only used 10mg - many use it at 25 - 100mg. I have taken mirtazepine as well in small doses and found that the next day my anxiety is gone. I never take it for long because the hangover is so brutal that I then get depression, and I am worried about dependence. Also, after a 6 day period, I started getting night panic attacks (might not have been related).

 

Hang in there Bess! I hope that your healing is going to be right around the corner. My biggest waves are often followed by big improvements!

https://www.benzoinfo.com/medications-and-supplements/

I assume that link is in response to what I wrote.

 

I would counter that with the fact that all of that is theory. Without any actual trials, we don't really know anything. As a scientist, I am always surprised how logical theories can be dead wrong when it comes to the human body.

 

I like what this guy says:

 

https://www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk/peter-smith/146/Accelerate-Benzo-Withdrawal-by-Increasing-GABA-A-Receptors-Natural-Treatment.html

 

Who knows if he is right, but at least he bases it on actual experience working with a lot of people rather than speculation.

 

Ultimately, at the end of the day, we all have to do our best, and what is right for us.

 

Bess55, I am so sorry that you are struggling. I so understand. Anxiety is the thing that I hate the most with the exception of despondent depression, which is even a little worse. Until a few nights ago, I was awoken by a jolt out of my sleep with panic attacks - awful. I am going to include what I do for all of this - please disregard it though if you don't want to take supplements and things. Just noting it in case it is helpful!

 

I think I've responded to another of your posts as well during this wave. I have been having a rollercoaster too, and totally understand how awful these waves are. I can tell you the things I use for anxiety that seem to be helping, as I have recently had a lot less. I am not sure it will last, but I am 6 days from my period and had no anxiety and just some dysphoria and brain fog today. Not pleasant, but doable and beats the ten day wave I had last month started 7 days prior and lasting to 3 days after.

 

Anyway, I know many people are sensitive, so in no way am I saying do all of this. Just saying what works for me after trying everything. Please note that I do not subscribe to the avoidance of herbals that interact with GABA. As long as there is no evidence that they break the receptor, and none do, calming the brain in my opinion, is healing. I haven't healed yet, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

I am a problem solver, so forgive me if you don't want this advice. Please feel free to disregard. I use the following anxiety stack upon waking and at noon as this is when I have the most anxiety. It takes a lot of herbals to make any dent, that's why so many. I take them consistently, so that they can work continuously. I will provide reasons. My references are collected in a giant jumble, but I am always willing to dig them up for anyone who likes.

 

1) DHH-B x 2 capsules from tailor made. Acts on GABA receptors but not alpha receptors like benzos. It acts mostly on omega receptors that help to keep background GABA stable. Also increases production of GABA and heals the brain via GAD 67 I believe. It is made from Honokiol which is derived from magnolia.

2) Jujube 1 capsule from Swanson - Incredible brain protector and may increase the expression of GABA receptors

3) Gotu Kola 2 capsules (can't remember brand) - increases the production of GABA via GAD 67 I believe

4) PharmaGABA 500mg (Thorne) - may help some GABA get into the brain, there is some debate

5) Skullcap tincture x 2 droppers - protects the brain and acts on GABA alpha 2 / 3 receptors. These receptors are not associated with tolerance or withdrawal and are responsible for reducing anxiety. I hold it under my tongue.

 

I use the following anxiety stack at night and when I wake up at 3am:

1) Valerian tincture - 1 syringe - increases GABA levels I believe by decreasing GABA breakdown

2) Lemon balm tincture - 1 syringe - increases GABA by increasing production via GAD

3) Tilia tomentosa - 12.5ml - binds to GABA receptors, poorly understood so avoid if you are concerned, though it has been used 1000s of years by native peoples

4) CBD 10 - 25mg - Helps to reset GABA receptors

5) THC (indica Blueberry OG) approx 8mg - at low doses, reduces glutamate (at high doses, reduces GABA so be careful!)

 

I also started increasing my T3 (thyroid hormone) with tiny doses of cortisol. T3 is a GABA reuptake inhibitor and cortisol is needed for it to reach the cells.

 

I also have tried also hydroxyzine for panic and anxiety with varying results, but I only used 10mg - many use it at 25 - 100mg. I have taken mirtazepine as well in small doses and found that the next day my anxiety is gone. I never take it for long because the hangover is so brutal that I then get depression, and I am worried about dependence. Also, after a 6 day period, I started getting night panic attacks (might not have been related).

 

Hang in there Bess! I hope that your healing is going to be right around the corner. My biggest waves are often followed by big improvements!

 

Thanks so much.  I really appreciate your kind words and support. Thank you. I hope you are having an ok day.

https://www.benzoinfo.com/medications-and-supplements/

 

Thank you for this information.

Very important ☝️

Honestly, until I see an actual study, anecdotal evidence is not science. I’ve had waves startling supplements only to have a window right after. Just because people have umbrellas in the rain, doesn’t mean umbrellas cause rain. This isn’t to say that one should t exercise caution. But a lot is contradictory. Ashton said alcohol is fine but supplements might not be. She says one rescue dose is unlikely to cause harm, but one gaba supplement made someone bedridden for two years. It’s all a bit hard to believe. I’d say alcohol is incredibly poisonous, and the rest are potentially neuroprotective.

 

Harm can be caused my doing nothing as much as trying to find ways to heal.

Hi Bess,

 

I’m one month behind you at 13 months.  I had two bad waves recently that really took me back to the early days.  I made it through, but I was surprised by the intensity. 

 

So while I cannot say anything about the future,as you are ahead of me, I did want to say I’m right here with you walking the same path.

 

I’m still in a better place today than I was a year ago, so I am not worried.  I know it takes time.

 

Hang in there!

Hi Bess,

 

I’m one month behind you at 13 months.  I had two bad waves recently that really took me back to the early days.  I made it through, but I was surprised by the intensity. 

 

So while I cannot say anything about the future,as you are ahead of me, I did want to say I’m right here with you walking the same path.

 

I’m still in a better place today than I was a year ago, so I am not worried.  I know it takes time.

 

Hang in there!

 

Thanks so much for this. Withdrawal is o r weird beast! Yesterday I had one if yes wurst anxiety/panic attacks yet - I forced myself to eat & had to get on with my day.  I’m finding it super hard. It to compare myself to others who were on Valium for longer & have mostly recovered in a shorter time frame. I’m super happy for them, I just wish I was more healed,  I know logically that healing isn’t linear but I feel like I’m going backwards. I’m forcing myself to stay positive,  I hope you are doing ok & you are having a good day.

I totally know the feeling.  But I recognize it for what it is and know that the feelings will pass.

 

If it gets too much I just take a day off of work and try to do something fun.  Typically I go for a long walk outside and then soak in a nice lavender bath.  Then take a nap and maybe read.  I totally avoid anything electronic and anything online.  It helps to just take a break from everything.

 

Right now I just have some tinnitus but nothing else so I can live with it.  I know a window will open up soon again.

 

 

I totally know the feeling.  But I recognize it for what it is and know that the feelings will pass.

 

If it gets too much I just take a day off of work and try to do something fun.  Typically I go for a long walk outside and then soak in a nice lavender bath.  Then take a nap and maybe read.  I totally avoid anything electronic and anything online.  It helps to just take a break from everything.

 

Right now I just have some tinnitus but nothing else so I can live with it.  I know a window will open up soon again.

 

Thanks so much. I really appreciate your help. I hope you are having a good day. )

Ok I can relate...The recent wave I was in had some symptoms I haven't had in awhile and def took me back. Anxiety def peaked which scared me.

Its all been easing up. but before this I had a pretty functional window. My muscle/tendon aches and tightness are sooo much better, but now I've been dealing with head symptoms. 

 

So we ride the rollercoaster of recovery:) Look back at how far we've come!

 

 

Ok I can relate...The recent wave I was in had some symptoms I haven't had in awhile and def took me back. Anxiety def peaked which scared me.

Its all been easing up. but before this I had a pretty functional window. My muscle/tendon aches and tightness are sooo much better, but now I've been dealing with head symptoms. 

 

So we ride the rollercoaster of recovery:) Look back at how far we've come!

 

Oh Trina I’m so sorry you’re in a wretched wave. Nasty! It’s interesting as this morning I was thinking about the symptoms I have overcome. I’m still able to work - I really have to push myself in the morning to overcome the mental turmoil & get out the door but I make myself do it, this morning I was In fight or flight mode - for around 6 hours,  I thought that my heart was going to leap out of my chest. Onward & upward I kept saying.  I hope the wave dissipates for you soon. One day we will be healed, one day soon xx