Hope for all the new people

Over a year ago, I walked into the abyss having never experienced psych meds before and being given an antidepressant for a mild sleep issue by my Dr, which was followed by a benzo and then more polydrugging over a period of 5 months. I was medicated a total of 2 months, cold turkeying myself multiple times with each prescription given with no warning. Pain doesn't describe it because we all understand pain, this was unimaginable. My body became a torture chamber I couldn't escape for months. I wanted it to end even if it meant ending my life, but for some reason I held on. The months went by slowly and painfully. Initially I lived to survive the next 5 minutes, then the day, and very slowly it got better. Its been over a year so how am I doing now?

 

I sleep! Yes! The meds made my initial mild sleep issue seem incomparable to the major sleep problems I developed. But I'm here to reassure you that I slowly improved from not sleeping at all to now getting 8 hours. Sleep does slowly come back friends. And the many many many symptoms I suffered have slowly stopped and I'm only left with 2 symptoms which I believe will also heal. Once so often if I over exert, a few more will resurface but they don't last more than a few hours and are so MILD, this is happening as part of increasing my baseline so it is nothing to worry about. I go out, I have fun, I feel love, joy and hope again. I enjoy food as if its new to me, I see colors clearly and sometimes just stare at flowers and trees because I see things like its for the first time. I hear music like its for the first time, its beautiful! I can finally go for a run and exercise. I'm making future plans and feel excitement. Yes friends, what you are experiencing will get better. You have not ruined your life and will not suffer forever. Those awful thoughts are all part of withdrawal and they too will stop. And what have I learnt from this experience?

 

I've learnt to prioritize my health, no one is going to heal me but myself. No Dr is going to save me. No medication is going to make this go away. I've learnt the power of using foods to heal and the importance of listening to my body. Before this I never listened to my body. I now know what really matters in life and the simple things make me happy. I take things slow and don't put pressure on myself... So if you are at the beginning of this journey, give yourself a year. It will be worth it. 

This is beautiful Trying2BHopeful!  So good to hear life is good for you again.

 

Kate   

Trying, I am so happy for you! 

I'm so happy to see this post, you've found your power through the powerlessness of this process and you're truly stronger for it.  Thank you for giving of yourself and offering hope to others.

Hi All,

 

Last year I laid a complaint against the Drs who prescribed me the medications and I just received feedback that they have both been found guilty of negligence by the health council! It does not take away the pain caused but I’m glad my voice was heard!

I love that you were able to heal yourself, I too feel like I am on that journey.  I hope this finds you well, and thank you for coming back to share with others.

Trying: Ahhh so nice to see this post of yours!!! So happy you have come so far and found life again. We both know that other stuff will fall off in time.

 

You've been a great buddy to me on here - looking forward to your success story one day.