What keeps you going?

Just wondering what keeps everyone going. Was convinced early on I'd be ok by now. Had a huge setback from an AD 4 months ago which I'm still not over, basically I've had to start again ( well that's how it feels) and been pretty much bedridden since, can't do anything physical or mental. I'm struggling to accept that this is me for the next year or 2.

 

Please share some positive

I would like to say my wonderful wife or my grandchildren. I would like to say my retirement I'm now 66 and have worked hard all my life.so for me the answer is simple.

 

I don't want to live like this.

 

The last 15 March have been horrible but manageable thanks to my wonderful wife. I am in no hurry to leave this world but I would like for my remaining time to be somewhat enjoyable. And it 15 months Klonopin free I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. Or the good days now have begun to outnumber the bad.

My fiancé, God, my naturopathic family.

Find your supports and hold on, that’s all I can do.

Thanks for sharing. I'm holding on by my fingertips most days. But holding on

My family and the promise of better days to come!

Mine was my family and friends. Because they love me so much, I only really didn't give up for them.

One thing that keeps me going is the hope of one day having ground shaking, spectacular, sex. And I'm not talking about by myself.

It could happen!

 

One thing that keeps me going is the hope of one day having ground shaking, spectacular, sex. And I'm not talking about by myself.

It could happen!

 

😂😂 I like it, thanks

Just wondering what keeps everyone going. Was convinced early on I'd be ok by now. Had a huge setback from an AD 4 months ago which I'm still not over, basically I've had to start again ( well that's how it feels) and been pretty much bedridden since, can't do anything physical or mental. I'm struggling to accept that this is me for the next year or 2.

 

Please share some positive

 

My wife, my mother, step-father, father and brother are my motivation. I’m at the start of my journey so I have a very long painful road ahead of me. But every single day I remind myself why I’m doing this. Right now I have a relatively stable ability to get Klonopin and I don’t know how long I will. My biggest fear is to have a doctor cut me off suddenly and have me go through an even worse crisis.

 

I don’t want to wake up one day with 10+ years of usage either. I have roughly 3 years, maybe a little more. That’s already way long enough. Now is the time to start this and be done. I don’t want to have to rely on a pill that can be snatched away from me at someone else’s discretion and land me in a psych ward.

My major driver in withdrawal was "I deserve something better than THIS". I was polydrugged, my life was non existent, I had no idea if I had a future at all, but this stubborn, childish thing, to think "nooo! There HAS to be more out there!"

 

And it was true.

Still it brings tears into my eyes looking back.

 

I wish everyone here the strength to hold on and a quick healing. You can do this.

Wife and kids are the obvious reasons.  That’s what gets me through each day. 

 

On a larger scale, Klonopin and ADs started dragging me down long before I ever attempted to get off them.  I feel like I have fallen behind in my career and I know that some people close to me (including my wife) think I’m a slacker to some degree.  I really want to prove them wrong.  I’ve been with my wife for 16 years and honestly, she’s never seen me at full strength.  If I can get back to who I was before being drugged for decades, it’s going to surprise a lot of people. 

Self-love. I'm single and not in contact with my family, so I'm doing this for me because I refuse to let this drug be the end of me and get in the way of my ability to be happy and live a normal life. The last thing i want is to let this horrific chapter of my life define me.

I have had a determination that I won't be broken by the actions of a disgusting minority who think it's alright that people are subjected to this sort of suffering. In other words, the system wasn't going to break me.

 

I'm getting a bit better and feel like I've landed a couple of small yet significant blows to the machine. When I'm fully recovered, I'd like to think I can do more. It always felt bigger than just me, for some reason. It might be my calling to heal people but I've got to fix myself first. That's my motivation.

Havingamare,

 

Don't put a 2 year timeline in it. You could heal sooner.

 

What keeps me going is being healed so I can enjoy my beautiful marriage with my husband. We've been through so much with this.

 

Also, when I have windows I feel so much deep love and so connected to life and everything is so beautiful. I keep going to feel that all of the time when I'm recovered.

My four daughters. I'm a single mom and all they really have. My dad. My angel mother in heaven. I want her to be proud of me and keep going. God. I can feel Him more little by little.

 

I don't know what beyond that because like Marigold said, it's hard to see a future for myself. Three years ago before this started, I had a BEAUTIFUL life that was full of family and health and friends and a career. Trauma and disease struck and most of that is gone now. I have absolutely no clue what my life could be moving forward from this if/when I do get better because my former life has been pretty much obliterated.  When I'm in waves my damaged brain says that this life I'm fighting for is pointless. When I'm more myself in a window, I tell myself that with a healthy brain and body, I can create a new life for myself even at 48 or 49 or whenever this is over.