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Taking benzos was a huge mistake I feel like I'm losing it.


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I'm a 32 year old male. Starting 2 years ago I was put on Klonopin. I use to be a frequent drinker I would drink about 3 times a week. One day after waking up from a night of drinking I was really twitchy, my breathing was out of control, I would get muscle and head spasms, and I basically became intolerant to alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I don't know what this is maybe a vitamin deficiency but that's why I was put on Klonopin. Well it didn't solve anything and now I have very bad derealization like I'm in a dream like state and it's beyond scary. Also I swear that Klonopin has made my depression worse is this possable? I'm in the process of tapering off this I'm down to 0.25mg from 2mg daily. Even when taking Klonopin I didn't feel better mentally. It's hard to believe but my sleep, memory and mood have all got worse ever since starting this..... I'm very confused and struggling.
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Hello ranbojan,

 

You are not the only person put on benzos for a condition that didn't require them in the first place, sad to say. This was my experience as well.

 

I never felt depressed before I was put on benzos, but they did a great job of creating it. This is true also for anxiety. 

 

You've done really well tapering from a significant 2 mg dose to 0.25. Klonopin is a very strong benzo, every reduction impacts a fragile nervous system.  You might consider slowing the pace down a little, some people find the lower doses to be more challenging.

 

One thing I had to keep reminding myself was that I didn't have depression or anxiety before I was put on benzos so that in time I would rid myself of these issues, once off benzos and healed.

 

The withdrawal process is challenging and yes, confusing. You are not alone though, we understand what you are going through.  Hang in there and see this through, you'll start to see improvements as time goes on. 

 

pianogirl  :smitten:

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I'm a 32 year old male. Starting 2 years ago I was put on Klonopin. I use to be a frequent drinker I would drink about 3 times a week. One day after waking up from a night of drinking I was really twitchy, my breathing was out of control, I would get muscle and head spasms, and I basically became intolerant to alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I don't know what this is maybe a vitamin deficiency but that's why I was put on Klonopin. Well it didn't solve anything and now I have very bad derealization like I'm in a dream like state and it's beyond scary. Also I swear that Klonopin has made my depression worse is this possable? I'm in the process of tapering off this I'm down to 0.25mg from 2mg daily. Even when taking Klonopin I didn't feel better mentally. It's hard to believe but my sleep, memory and mood have all got worse ever since starting this..... I'm very confused and struggling.

 

I'm right here with you buddy.  You're doing a great job already, you're down to .25mg!  Wish I was there, but one day I will be.

 

Before Klonopin, I had anxiety but never depression.  Actually I was always very positive.  Since starting Klonopin & the eventually taper, I've developed the worst outlook on life.  The deepest depression I've ever felt.  Like me & you, this isn't us - its the withdrawal.  We have to keep reminding ourselves why we're doing this.  Things get bad during withdrawal, it robs us of many things but we need to remained focused on the end goal.  Cheers bud, I hope you feel better soon.

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I hear you benzos seem to dumb down not just anxiety but all areas of the brain. I can see them causing huge issues. One day at a time I hope today u saw some type of improvement
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You mentioned you're currently taking .25 mgs down from 2 mgs, how fast is your taper, when did you start and how much are you reducing each time?
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I started benzos 1 year ago.started at 0.5 MG's daily than it went up to 1.5. since January I started tapering about .25 MG's each week or 2. I think I'm tapering a bit to fast. I decided to up the dose I took 0.5 MG's just an hour or so ago but I'm not feeling relief from the derealization and nxiety yet. I'm worried what if these symptoms don't go away and upping my dose won't work any more... Man this is just brutal
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I started benzos 1 year ago.started at 0.5 MG's daily than it went up to 1.5. since January I started tapering about .25 MG's each week or 2. I think I'm tapering a bit to fast. I decided to up the dose I took 0.5 MG's just an hour or so ago but I'm not feeling relief from the derealization and nxiety yet. I'm worried what if these symptoms don't go away and upping my dose won't work any more... Man this is just brutal

 

I did something similar to you and suffered exactly like you with depersonalization, insomnia and a bunch of other crap. You need to go back up in dose until you stabilize. Going too fast is dangerous. Please take care of yourself.

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It does sound like you've tapered too quickly so in order to remain functional you might want to consider finding a dose you can stabilize on and begin another taper.  Getting off the drug quickly only makes us hurt more on the way down, there is still healing to be done once off the drug.  The key is to go slow, live our lives and hopefully be able to gently step off the drug with little to no symptoms. 
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