I'm 23 months off and still nowhere near healed

I'm 23 months off klonopin and I am still nowhere near being healed. I feel bipolar, and I have intense mood swings. I am still very doom and gloom. Starting to wonder if this is as good as it is gonna get.

I listened to Joyce Meyer, battlefield of the mind, She’s great and motivating.  Thank more, think less she says.

 

What are we all thankful for today?

 

I’m thankful for my loving fiancé, my Naturopathic family, disability income, Yoga.

 

Every morning and every night.  Let’s start to focus on what we are grateful for.

 

It only takes a few minutes and I say what the heck it’s worth a try! 😂

 

🙏❤️🙏❤️

 

Love

Fiercey

I love your attitude Fiercey

I'm sure it will get better HH. You still have time on your side. I'm not going to say that 23 months is nothing but at the same time, lots of people make huge progress in the 24-48 month phase. It's very common. You are having mood swings and feel bipolar - also apparently very common. Think of it like a pendulum. Can you remember a time when the swings were more violent? I bet you can if you think about it. Well, the swings will become more gentle over time until you can just call them normal ups and downs. Believe in yourself, you can do it.

I'm 23 months off klonopin and I am still nowhere near being healed. I feel bipolar, and I have intense mood swings. I am still very doom and gloom. Starting to wonder if this is as good as it is gonna get.

 

Hopeful, just to let you know we are on almost the exact same timeline and I feel exactly the same. I have been so much worse in the past few months. Also feeling the bipolar/mood swings thing for sure, and I've had a bunch of old symptoms come back in a very strong way and then cycle back out again. My symptoms seem to be cycling fairly quickly at the moment--maybe every 2-3 days. I hope the doom and gloom lifts for the both of us soon and we fully heal instead of being stuck like this. Sending you good vibes.

I think that is a reasonable question to ask especially the farther out things go. I'm at 25 months off. When I feel such despair, here is a game I play with my thoughts:

 

There are SO MANY THINGS I DON'T KNOW. I don't know if this is normal or how long this is going to go on or how much more I can take. I don't know if there are symptoms caused by benzos alone or it's other things. This list can go on and on and on...you get it. 

 

But...HERE IS WHAT I DO KNOW. I KNOW I am much better than I was. I KNOW I am making progress because I can see it when I look back 6 months at a time. I KNOW that the brain and body are always moving toward healing. I KNOW I deserve a life so much better than this so I will fight for it. I KNOW by kids deserve to have a healthy and alive mother. I KNOW I have a purpose on this earth and I will be a force for good when this is all over.

 

So maybe that means I'm halfway there or almost at the finish line. Who's to say? But I KNOW I have to keep going because this could be over soon. For all of us.

Thank you everyone for your responses. They have been so encouraging and inspiring. Warrior you are so right, we deserve a better life. I got discouraged because I found my old medical records and it looks like from the time I cold turkeyed to when I went back on klonopin it was 38 months....thay was so discouraging to me, but then my husband reminded me that I started on an antidepressant, drank alcohol, and smoked weed in those 38 months. This is my third cold turkey so I need to not give up hope, and realize that it may just take longer than I had hoped.