Severe cognitive issues after 5 1/2 months

Hello, I am off Zopiclone and Klonipin for approx. 5 1/2 months and am having severe cognitive issues. The closest I can describe this to is like when you first wake up from a surgery and everything is blurry and unreal, I have a hard time navigating and understanding my environment (both physically and mentally), I am unable to maintain a conversation with friends or family. Basic things I did before, like cooking or writing a cogent letter are next to impossible. I am having difficulty recalling or spelling basic words. My question is, has anyone been this bad, and did you recover? This far out I thought I would be seeing some significant progress. (note I am university educated and was functioning at a very high level both physically and mentally before this)

I know you've been suffering for a long time but you're still early in recovery, most of us don't begin to see significant healing until well past 6 months, I'm sorry.  Cognitive challenges are discussed in The Ashton Manual , it's very common and at least for me left when I recovered.

 

I don't know if you've read this but it explains things better than I can.  What’s happening inside your brain

 

The best thing you can do is to find ways around your challenges for now, rely on note taking, keep things as simple as you can and avoid situations that are too much for you.  You have an injury and can't expect to be at the top of your game so treat yourself gently.  The more you stress over your situation, the more you'll struggle.

 

Thanks

The 1st time I tapered, I followed bad advice from another forum and tapered too fast, I was a wreck 10 days later and reinstated. I had been on Klonopin for 15 months. I had the cognitive issues, and couldn't get around my own house easily. I had crossed over to Valium and tapered off Valium, so when I reinstated, I reinstated to Valium. Still had issues, but made a .5 mg cut,  atually fell in my house, couldn't get up off the floor, had to call for help. Found out 2 weeks later I had been crossed over to the wrong amount, almost 2 months after updosing to correct amount, and planning on tapering soon.

 

I don't expect these to be issues of any signifigance this time around, because I plan on doing a slow, proper, taper. I've noticed on this board that those who C/T, rapid W/D and don't do a proper taper, end up having the worst problems. And they show up long after, just when you think things should be getting better. But, yeah, I had pretty much what you did after my too fast taper. I understand many who end up in C/T or rapid W/D ended up that way due to uninformed medical staff.

 

I spent more time resting and distracting myself, while I waited for the Valium to once again kick in. I moved more slowly, deliberately, huggged the walls, kept meals simple so cooking wasn't a challenge, just found workarounds or pushed myself through things though I felt miserable. I wasn't as bad as you, but I went through much of what you are going through now. All you can do is fight your way through it, and do the best you can.

 

For meals, I alternate between plain fish or chicken. I put a frozen veggie of choice in a pot, bring to a boil, put a frozen fish filet on top, reduce to simmer,  and stick a potato in the microwave. By the time the potato is done, so is everything else. I buy family packs of chicken pieces, cooked it all in the oven, cooled and froze them. Microwave a veggie, a sweet potato, and the chicken. I made a big batch of rice in my rice cooker and froze bags of that so I can havee rice instead of potatoes.  Just use your oven to cook portions of meat ahead, freeze them to microwave later. I recommend putting in the fridge the night before to thaw out your cooked portion. This has made meal prep easier for me. Breakfast has always been oatmeal (cooked right in bowl in microwave), ecept Sunday when I have eggs. Try to avoid frozen entrees, except in a pinch. Pick ones that are a bit healthier. Same with canned soup.

 

Do chores in small blocks. Spread out the blocks so you aren't overwhelmed. Do a little bit here, rest and take a break, do a little bit there. Do what you have to do, put off stuff that isn't important and can wait. Accept that you can't change what's been done, you can only move forward. On your better days (or times), explain to others what's going on with you, and that you need patience, time, and understanding. If you can't say it, email or text them.

 

But keep looking forward, it will get better. This won't last forever. And what what Pamster wrote.

I appreciate that. I can't leave the house without a huge amount of encouragement from my family. I am concerned that whatever initially caused this issue mixed with the drugs I was prescribed and used as directed has caused some sort of progressive disease. I am having large periods of time where my thinking is completely distorted.  Having done extreme endurance events I am just trying to push through. I am presenting as severely mentally challenged at the moment. What is concerning, is that I feel that I am getting progressively worse not better.

Tony, I relate very closely to everything you have said.  Even though I can’t sleep, I don’t really feel like I’m awake a lot of the time.  I’ve explained it to my wife in a similar fashion - although I said it’s like when you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and everything is kind of fuzzy and confusing.

 

Word recall is very hard.  I work in Finance and a lot of math that used to come easily absolutely stumps me at times.  I trip on my words all the time, either using the wrong words or mispronouncing them.  They don’t feel like they are my own.  I make very simple meals because I can’t even think how to make more elaborate ones with lots of ingredients.  I’ll look in my fridge/pantry sometimes and can’t think how to make a meal with what we have, even though it isn’t that difficult.  Although I can still remember most things when pressed, I have trouble recalling most things without prompting.

My situation is different from yours, but ever since I tapered below .5 mg of lorazepam, I have been experiencing ever-worsening cognitive issues (I have very slowly tapered down to .25 mg, where I am now holding).  I can get around and manage conversations, but my brain feels like it's wrapped in cotton wool much of the time.  I try to remember things and the recall is just not there, I go to do things and actions that should have been automatic take effort to perform, and I feel foggy most of the time.  I have a job that requires me to be able to think well, and I struggle to manage it.  My biggest fear is that this is some kind of progressive dementia, maybe caused by the decade plus of taking benzos as prescribed. 

 

Haimona

Tony, I relate very closely to everything you have said.  Even though I can’t sleep, I don’t really feel like I’m awake a lot of the time.  I’ve explained it to my wife in a similar fashion - although I said it’s like when you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and everything is kind of fuzzy and confusing.

 

Word recall is very hard.  I work in Finance and a lot of math that used to come easily absolutely stumps me at times.  I trip on my words all the time, either using the wrong words or mispronouncing them.  They don’t feel like they are my own.  I make very simple meals because I can’t even think how to make more elaborate ones with lots of ingredients.  I’ll look in my fridge/pantry sometimes and can’t think how to make a meal with what we have, even though it isn’t that difficult.  Although I can still remember most things when pressed, I have trouble recalling most things without prompting.

You paint a very vivid picture of what it's like. I hope that your ability to explain yourself doesn't cause loved ones to doubt the severity of your struggle, as happened to me.

 

Not much more than a year ago, I was saying the sorts of things that you were saying. The part about making a meal could be a quote from me word for word. It's a lot different now - I feel extremely sharp and indeed I am mentally sharp by objective measures. It's clear from how you write that you haven't lost anything, it's just taking a long time to process things. Like me, you'll get there.

 

Horrible while it's happening though, I remember. 

Hello, approximately how long was it until any of you saw progress? As said above, the information is there but it needs prompting to come out. Another issue I am having is anhedonia. Before, I was amused and enjoyed almost everything, now nothing seems to have any life or bring enjoyment. I cannot understand how these drugs are given to people, this is such a crime. At no time was I advised or warned of any complications or problems arising from taking these, even as instructed.

Not only do we lose connection to our loved ones but we lose our connection to ourselves, we can't feel joy or love only fear and pain. 

Hello, approximately how long was it until any of you saw progress? As said above, the information is there but it needs prompting to come out. Another issue I am having is anhedonia. Before, I was amused and enjoyed almost everything, now nothing seems to have any life or bring enjoyment. I cannot understand how these drugs are given to people, this is such a crime. At no time was I advised or warned of any complications or problems arising from taking these, even as instructed.

 

I have anhedonia as well.  I think this is all interrelated, for me at least.  I have the cognitive difficulties 24/7 but they do go increase or diminish in severity over the course of a day or week.  When it’s really bad, it’s like the world just closes.  There is no connection to anything and my emotions are muted. 

When you say this, is this an on going issue or has it resolved for you. Another issue I wanted to address is that when on these drugs I had the same issues, cognitive etc. My question is, when you and others were on these "so called" medications did they have cognitive and other symptoms or was it only when they came off of these drugs?

I had issues while taking it, my short term memory was shot and I felt dull.  When I first quit cold turkey, the next couple of days I felt wonderful, a veil lifted and I could see my world clearly for the first time in a long time but by day 3 withdrawals set in and it got ugly.  But that brightness I saw and felt those first couple of days came roaring back when I recovered, all is good now.

The biggest problem is not being there for the people you love and others you supported in the community. I was an active member of my community as well as a Boy Scout leader. I still have people reaching out to me for support and I am not even able to take care of myself at the moment. Another really distressing symptom is my personality has changed. As I have mentioned before, I was interacting and doing endurance races with special forces members and w/ the typical alpha personality that goes along with this kind of sport, now I am afraid to walk to the store alone and have near constant panic attacks. I have been confronted by bears on camping trips with my scouts, parachuted, jumped off of cruise ships, but nothing compares to the panic attacks I have almost constantly now from, either nothing, or minor incidents.

When you say this, is this an on going issue or has it resolved for you. Another issue I wanted to address is that when on these drugs I had the same issues, cognitive etc. My question is, when you and others were on these "so called" medications did they have cognitive and other symptoms or was it only when they came off of these drugs?

 

I’m not sure towards whom you were asking the question.  I still haven’t finished my taper although I’m very close. 

 

While I was on Klonopin (for 20 years), I had a slight slip in cognitive function and over time, it got progressively worse, although it was happening so slowly that I couldn’t really tell until I looked back on things.  Over the last five years, it become much more noticeable to me.  Just being more forgetful and having more trouble learning things.  What I really noticed though was that I had a very hard time conjuring images in my head.  Would do something like yoga and they ask you to picture stuff in your head and I just couldn’t do it. 

 

But that cognitive dysfunction is nothing compared to what hit me once I got down under .5mg of Klonopin.  Not even in the same universe.  At that point, it was like my brain just froze.  Anxiety and depression also make things worse.  Both drastically effect focus and concentration, and depression slows the mind down and you just aren’t thinking about things.  Fatigue, exhaustion, and lack of sleep do the same thing.  Just keeps your brain from running at optimal levels. 

 

Like I said, all this stuff is interrelated.  Nothing is firing right and it affects your ability to think. 

djej2010

That is an interesting take on it. The issue is polyfactorial. The drug changes your chemical and physical brain structure, which causes depression etc. which further exacerbates everything. At least the doctors and drug companies are staying rich ruining peoples lives. If these drugs are so benign the first line of testing should be on drug manufacturer executives and proscribing doctors. 

The biggest problem is not being there for the people you love and others you supported in the community. I was an active member of my community as well as a Boy Scout leader. I still have people reaching out to me for support and I am not even able to take care of myself at the moment. Another really distressing symptom is my personality has changed. As I have mentioned before, I was interacting and doing endurance races with special forces members and w/ the typical alpha personality that goes along with this kind of sport, now I am afraid to walk to the store alone and have near constant panic attacks. I have been confronted by bears on camping trips with my scouts, parachuted, jumped off of cruise ships, but nothing compares to the panic attacks I have almost constantly now from, either nothing, or minor incidents.

This was a major problem for me. I went a little nuts trying to be there much more than I was capable of. It wasn't good for me and it wasn't good for the people I "helped". My advice is to try and put the alpha in the box and focus on you. When you are alright, you'll be able to deliver effective support to the people/groups of people that you love and care about. Not before though, that's the part that needs to sink. All attempts to do too much too soon will derail your recovery and delay the day when you're back to your best.

 

Let me put it this way: When you get through this monumental challenge, you'll have more strings to your bow and you'll be even better at the things you were already good at due to a firmer understanding of human suffering. I kinda hate writing stuff like this because it looks like an advertisement for the experience which is not what I'm getting at. This is barbaric. I'm just relating a potential silver lining.