Perimenopausal women who healed

Does anyone know of any success stories of perimenopausal women who healed in a reasonable amount of time? Is there hope for us? What about C/T relatively low dose but still severe sx? I am feeling very defeated.

Following

what do you mean with perimenopausal women

why should women in or after menopause heal less or not??

Count me into the boat of perimeno- ladies who feel much better now

Call me the perimeny:-)

Hi Marigold, it took you five years to feel better? My kids will be grown and gone? I’m only at 5 months. Is there any hope of feeling better sooner? Like 6 months? 8? 12? I know it varies and I’ve read success stories ranging from 3 months (so lucky!) to years and years. I just want to enjoy the last of my boys’ childhoods :-(

 

It makes no sense to ask people how you will feel faster and everyone who tells you that he or she knows how to do that should not be trusted. Our stories vary although we share the withdrawal experience. I was polydrugged and had to taper a very long time until I was finally off all meds and had to build up my hole body from ground zero.

Also - the life you have while being in withdrawal is not a lost life. The sooner you understand that you need to live your life every moment WHILE suffering, the better you might be able to manage to go through the recovery process.

I learned to have good moments no matter how bad it was, and it was very very bad. You could see it the other way, you were blessed with the option to have children and its up to you how you cherish them no matter through what you are going in your life. I will not have children because my recovery took too long. Which is fine for me now, but I hope you understand what I mean, your life does not start at the point you are out of withdrawal, its better to learn to make the best and to cherish what you have right now.

You are early in recovery and at this point everything is possible. Why do you focus on these questions, I would use all the power my body leaves me to enjoy what I have, in your case the children, family...

Yep, this post resonates. Seems a cruel double-edged sword, this going through withdrawal in peri-crapause, doesn't it?  A question I seem to be asking myself a lot lately: is it a hormonal symptom or a withdrawal symptom or one provoking the other?  UGH. 

 

Marigold, can't wait to get on board with you!  Agreed, we will get there in our own time and your sentiment here is a good reminder for us all.   

 

fluffernutter, I'm so sorry it's been difficult for you.  I know you sounded much more positive in earlier posts.  You'll get there again.  This is the other nastiness of this experience, the up and down, the unknown, the doubt, the fear.  I feel you and send love and light. 

Oh Fluffer!

 

You know my story, I feel the same way and that's why I was in such a crazy depressed state the other week (and I had my period).

You should have seen my posts, they are only a fraction of what I was thinking!

 

My oldest will be gone for University in Sept and I will have missed her entire last year at home.

My youngest has only a few more years too.

 

I have cried and cried and then cry some more everyday about this fact. It's so unfair!!

My youngest was actually an identical twin and we lost her twin after birth, they were very rare ID twins who were almost conjoined and the one we lost had a birth defect not compatible with life.

You'd think I'd been through enough already, how much suffering can one person take.

Not to equate it to women who can't have their own children, but we all have had to live with the cards dealt to us!

None of it is fair, but we have to learn how to go on I guess.....Ironically their middle names are Hope and Faith and my oldest is Grace!

I know that Hope and Faith will somehow get us through this, with a little bit of Grace and of course Love!

 

I have nowhere near processed what has happened to me and I still have years worth of tapering (in tolerance) ahead of me, so my healing won't begin completely until I'm off!

I haven't eaten dinner with my children or husband since May of last year.

 

My kids will be adults before I'm better, I know that now, but my youngest comes and hugs me and says that I still have lots of years ahead of that, and that I will be better than I am now!

She is such an old soul!

But honestly, why has this happened to her, she's already lost enough as well, now she's losing her mother for years.....

I said to one doctor the other day, that it's not normal for a mother not to be able to mother, it is a tremendous loss!

These drugs have taken so much from all of us, especially the ones who won't get a chance to be mothers! I'm so sorry!

 

Only thing I can do, is go on, and try my hardest to get better for her.

 

On the hormones side of things, there for sure is something to this.

I have never in my life had periods like this, I feel like I'm legitimately crazy when I get my period, I feel like there is a glutamate storm going on in my brain through that period, let alone the back pain and stabbing pain in my groin at that time.

I try to eat low glutamate foods through that period, but for almost a week, I also have no relief, and I get my period every 21-25 days!!! I've got a few more weeks of peace until it happens again, then I will know for sure! I also get very, very depressed at that time.

I've started taking fish oil again at night, and it seems to be helping with the depression.

 

Have you shared with your kids the issue you are having?

both of mine know (but they are slightly older than yours) so they don't think I'm crazy - even though I look it.

 

I'm not even going to go into the loss of income....that is disastrous for us!

But for the last few days, I seem to have gotten my memory back, so for that, I am taking one small victory, taking everything one day at a time!

 

Send me a PM anytime you want!

Maybe we can strategize on how to do things with our kids, even in this crazy situation.

I have them all come in, with the dog at night and pile on the bed and I try and talk to them for at least 30 mins or so.

 

Hugs to all, my little community of the best women!!

 

Winnie

 

 

I understand, or at least I can emphasize what you describe since I do not have kids. I went through a period of grief also and still get those episodes and that's all okey. For me being thankful is the opposite and it helps me to feel better. And as I said, I learned to see the happiness in the agony and it is always possible to find it. Sounds weird, but is true, in my opinion.. I hope you will feel better soon. It also takes time to be able to handle symptoms in a different way, for example I still have a tinnitus left but it does not bother me any more, cause I learned to live with it..

I agree Marigold!!

 

It is like stages of grief!

I equate it to that, of which I'm very familiar with, and you would be as well, as you have had to process your own loss!

When I lost my youngest, I did grieve a lot, for a very long time, but we did come out the other side and had an amazing life that we built.

 

this is what I'll have to do again!

I'm not sure what your symptoms were, but right now, I literally have every symptom that Aston describes, I counted over a hundred the other day!

 

So I have tinnitus and I could care less if that ever goes, as long as the other very horrible physically painful symptoms subside a bit.

I can only do one day at a time until I get off. I don't know how to make it through, except one day at a time, and then at some point, one year at a time.....

 

I'm in a lot of physical pain, so I do my best to minimize them as best I can, but I also know that others have physical pain and have to learn how to live with it too! I hope mine subsides over my taper and once I'm off.

 

Hopefully, we can all learn from you how to deal with these crazy things that are going on for us!

 

We all have our own story! 

 

Winne

 

Thanks Winnie,

I am not afraid of feelings anymore, but I was while being on these meds and of course in withdrawal. I always wanted to become a strong individual, less empathic, less "feeling" and thought this would be the key for me to have less problems. In withdrawal I learned that being strong as a rock does not help much, since you are stuck on the same place or in the same mindset. I want to be like a bamboo tree, the strongest one on earth, but as flexible, so flexible that I can be moved by the wind.. or by emotions, but I would never fall over. This picture helps me a lot, when I get hit by something or someone.. I get hit, and gently bounce back into my old position, and I can flow with life and the wind.

And thats the reason why grief is not a danger any more, I know I can create a bouncing movement which brings me back into happiness..

Marigold

OMG, that is beautiful!

You have a way with words!

 

I know know that these drugs won't kill me (at least I hope they won't), but I've a long road ahead of me!

I hope to become as gracious as you are about all of this!

I know I'll have my bad days, and bad moments, I'll keep the picture of the bamboo shoot in my mind!

 

Winnie 

OMG, that is beautiful!

You have a way with words!

 

I know know that these drugs won't kill me (at least I hope they won't), but I've a long road ahead of me!

I hope to become as gracious as you are about all of this!

I know I'll have my bad days, and bad moments, I'll keep the picture of the bamboo shoot in my mind!

 

Winnie 

 

Thanks Winnie:-) English is not my mother language I try my best.. You are a bamboo, too!

Perimenopause is kicking my butt. It feels like withdrawal around that time and if I skip a period it's more intense. I have not had withdrawal symptoms for some time. I am assuming that my brain is tapering hormones. Feel like withdrawal though.  If I get a period it goes easier for me. So I think I have WD symptoms for about two weeks and then I feel okay till the next time.

Oh Fluffer!

 

You know my story, I feel the same way and that's why I was in such a crazy depressed state the other week (and I had my period).

You should have seen my posts, they are only a fraction of what I was thinking!

 

My oldest will be gone for University in Sept and I will have missed her entire last year at home.

My youngest has only a few more years too.

 

I have cried and cried and then cry some more everyday about this fact. It's so unfair!!

My youngest was actually an identical twin and we lost her twin after birth, they were very rare ID twins who were almost conjoined and the one we lost had a birth defect not compatible with life.

You'd think I'd been through enough already, how much suffering can one person take.

Not to equate it to women who can't have their own children, but we all have had to live with the cards dealt to us!

None of it is fair, but we have to learn how to go on I guess.....Ironically their middle names are Hope and Faith and my oldest is Grace!

I know that Hope and Faith will somehow get us through this, with a little bit of Grace and of course Love!

 

I have nowhere near processed what has happened to me and I still have years worth of tapering (in tolerance) ahead of me, so my healing won't begin completely until I'm off!

I haven't eaten dinner with my children or husband since May of last year.

 

My kids will be adults before I'm better, I know that now, but my youngest comes and hugs me and says that I still have lots of years ahead of that, and that I will be better than I am now!

She is such an old soul!

But honestly, why has this happened to her, she's already lost enough as well, now she's losing her mother for years.....

I said to one doctor the other day, that it's not normal for a mother not to be able to mother, it is a tremendous loss!

These drugs have taken so much from all of us, especially the ones who won't get a chance to be mothers! I'm so sorry!

 

Only thing I can do, is go on, and try my hardest to get better for her.

 

On the hormones side of things, there for sure is something to this.

I have never in my life had periods like this, I feel like I'm legitimately crazy when I get my period, I feel like there is a glutamate storm going on in my brain through that period, let alone the back pain and stabbing pain in my groin at that time.

I try to eat low glutamate foods through that period, but for almost a week, I also have no relief, and I get my period every 21-25 days!!! I've got a few more weeks of peace until it happens again, then I will know for sure! I also get very, very depressed at that time.

I've started taking fish oil again at night, and it seems to be helping with the depression.

 

Have you shared with your kids the issue you are having?

both of mine know (but they are slightly older than yours) so they don't think I'm crazy - even though I look it.

 

I'm not even going to go into the loss of income....that is disastrous for us!

But for the last few days, I seem to have gotten my memory back, so for that, I am taking one small victory, taking everything one day at a time!

 

Send me a PM anytime you want!

Maybe we can strategize on how to do things with our kids, even in this crazy situation.

I have them all come in, with the dog at night and pile on the bed and I try and talk to them for at least 30 mins or so.

 

Hugs to all, my little community of the best women!!

 

Winnie

 

Winnie,

 

Awwww. I like that you have that special time for yourself, family and pet at night. That's such a great and loving thing to do for yourself and family.

 

My mom actually went through benzo (Xanax) withdrawal too. It was the worst for her when I was around 13 years old. Of course I did not really know her illness was from Xanax withdrawal at the time, nor did she really. It was not until after she lived a full life and passed away, and then I went into withdrawal myself that I understood what she went through. Like I said she did not really know. She mentioned once that a pharmacist helped her taper off of the drug. She had a lot of vertigo issues back then (and other symptoms). She did not realize the vertigo was from the Xanax withdrawal. No one did. It was 1983. There was no internet, no forum to help her. Just the pharmacist. Anyway, I'm so glad so got off of the benzo and went on to have a beautiful life.

 

My mom was sick a few years from the Xanax. I remember her not being able to drive here and there, and her being in bed more than usual. I just did the housework and helped her during that time. But, the thing is she was a very sweet person. My friends and my sister's friends enjoyed coming to our house just to chat with my mom. Even during those few years she was sick she was close to my sister and I. She was always there to talk and laugh. She was such a good mother in doing this that I didn't even notice most days that she was sick. We had a close connection and I enjoyed deep conversations with her. I have many good memories of this time with her. I think it really helped her through this rough time in her life while she healed. She may not have been able to drive for a year or so, but she was always there to chat with, and for a good laugh.

 

My mom went on to live a very full life. She helped my sister and I plan our weddings. She helped us build our homes. She vacationed and had a full life. It sucks that I am going through this after she passed (lung cancer) and I can't ask her questions. But, I tell myself: "Mom did this and that and traveled and drove all around keeping her home and being a part of me & my sister's lives. She had decades of a great and normal life after her withdrawl. She got through it and healed, and so will I."

 

She was in her early 40's when benzo withdrawal happened to her. She lived 3 decades of a great life after words..... including through peri menopause and menopause. She had menopause symptoms. But, they were the regular menopause symptoms and she never complained about it much.

 

Even though you're sick at this juncture in your life. It won't last forever. Your children will cherish these memories of being close to you, even when you were sick in withdrawal. I cherish those memories with my mom.

I’m sorry Marigold, I didn’t mean to offend. No one knows how long it will take for anyone. I’ve seen all the ranges from 3 months to years. I’m just scared because until four weeks ago I had such severe agitation that I couldn’t leave my room except to walk. I did get a blessed window nightly and still do most nights, to enjoy my kids. My early withdrawal was so severe, and it’s only now that I can barely do anything. I hope it gets better at least, even if I’m not healed completely for a while.

 

Hi,

 

I tieakiy understand your anguish over when you will be healed.  I’m peri menopausal too.  The fact you are getting windows is amazing & the fact they are regular & predictable is awesome! Having windows is a very good sign.  You will heal - you are well on your way. Be kind to yourself.  Treat your self like you would your own best friend.  You got this:

Thanks marigold, I thoroughly agree with you. Thanks Bess for your contribution. I have read her post and we should all support Fluffer now. Pops

Thank you Bess55! What are your remaining symptoms at 12 months out? How were they at 5 or 6 months?

 

Lovely, you are doing way better than me. Wayyyyy better.  You are having windows & at regular & predictable times.  This is a great sign.  I’m in a horrific ghastly wave.  I don’t want to scare you with my symptoms.  Everyone is different with their recovery & it’s not a good idea to compare as w/d is so different for every single person.  You are healing & you are doing really really well.  Keep on being good to yourself - you will get through this. Xxx

Oh Fluffer!

 

You know my story, I feel the same way and that's why I was in such a crazy depressed state the other week (and I had my period).

You should have seen my posts, they are only a fraction of what I was thinking!

 

My oldest will be gone for University in Sept and I will have missed her entire last year at home.

My youngest has only a few more years too.

 

I have cried and cried and then cry some more everyday about this fact. It's so unfair!!

My youngest was actually an identical twin and we lost her twin after birth, they were very rare ID twins who were almost conjoined and the one we lost had a birth defect not compatible with life.

You'd think I'd been through enough already, how much suffering can one person take.

Not to equate it to women who can't have their own children, but we all have had to live with the cards dealt to us!

None of it is fair, but we have to learn how to go on I guess.....Ironically their middle names are Hope and Faith and my oldest is Grace!

I know that Hope and Faith will somehow get us through this, with a little bit of Grace and of course Love!

 

I have nowhere near processed what has happened to me and I still have years worth of tapering (in tolerance) ahead of me, so my healing won't begin completely until I'm off!

I haven't eaten dinner with my children or husband since May of last year.

 

My kids will be adults before I'm better, I know that now, but my youngest comes and hugs me and says that I still have lots of years ahead of that, and that I will be better than I am now!

She is such an old soul!

But honestly, why has this happened to her, she's already lost enough as well, now she's losing her mother for years.....

I said to one doctor the other day, that it's not normal for a mother not to be able to mother, it is a tremendous loss!

These drugs have taken so much from all of us, especially the ones who won't get a chance to be mothers! I'm so sorry!

 

Only thing I can do, is go on, and try my hardest to get better for her.

 

On the hormones side of things, there for sure is something to this.

I have never in my life had periods like this, I feel like I'm legitimately crazy when I get my period, I feel like there is a glutamate storm going on in my brain through that period, let alone the back pain and stabbing pain in my groin at that time.

I try to eat low glutamate foods through that period, but for almost a week, I also have no relief, and I get my period every 21-25 days!!! I've got a few more weeks of peace until it happens again, then I will know for sure! I also get very, very depressed at that time.

I've started taking fish oil again at night, and it seems to be helping with the depression.

 

Have you shared with your kids the issue you are having?

both of mine know (but they are slightly older than yours) so they don't think I'm crazy - even though I look it.

 

I'm not even going to go into the loss of income....that is disastrous for us!

But for the last few days, I seem to have gotten my memory back, so for that, I am taking one small victory, taking everything one day at a time!

 

Send me a PM anytime you want!

Maybe we can strategize on how to do things with our kids, even in this crazy situation.

I have them all come in, with the dog at night and pile on the bed and I try and talk to them for at least 30 mins or so.

 

Hugs to all, my little community of the best women!!

 

Winnie

 

Winnie,

 

Awwww. I like that you have that special time for yourself, family and pet at night. That's such a great and loving thing to do for yourself and family.

 

My mom actually went through benzo (Xanax) withdrawal too. It was the worst for her when I was around 13 years old. Of course I did not really know her illness was from Xanax withdrawal at the time, nor did she really. It was not until after she lived a full life and passed away, and then I went into withdrawal myself that I understood what she went through. Like I said she did not really know. She mentioned once that a pharmacist helped her taper off of the drug. She had a lot of vertigo issues back then (and other symptoms). She did not realize the vertigo was from the Xanax withdrawal. No one did. It was 1983. There was no internet, no forum to help her. Just the pharmacist. Anyway, I'm so glad so got off of the benzo and went on to have a beautiful life.

 

My mom was sick a few years from the Xanax. I remember her not being able to drive here and there, and her being in bed more than usual. I just did the housework and helped her during that time. But, the thing is she was a very sweet person. My friends and my sister's friends enjoyed coming to our house just to chat with my mom. Even during those few years she was sick she was close to my sister and I. She was always there to talk and laugh. She was such a good mother in doing this that I didn't even notice most days that she was sick. We had a close connection and I enjoyed deep conversations with her. I have many good memories of this time with her. I think it really helped her through this rough time in her life while she healed. She may not have been able to drive for a year or so, but she was always there to chat with, and for a good laugh.

 

My mom went on to live a very full life. She helped my sister and I plan our weddings. She helped us build our homes. She vacationed and had a full life. It sucks that I am going through this after she passed (lung cancer) and I can't ask her questions. But, I tell myself: "Mom did this and that and traveled and drove all around keeping her home and being a part of me & my sister's lives. She had decades of a great and normal life after her withdrawl. She got through it and healed, and so will I."

 

She was in her early 40's when benzo withdrawal happened to her. She lived 3 decades of a great life after words..... including through peri menopause and menopause. She had menopause symptoms. But, they were the regular menopause symptoms and she never complained about it much.

 

Even though you're sick at this juncture in your life. It won't last forever. Your children will cherish these memories of being close to you, even when you were sick in withdrawal. I cherish those memories with my mom.

 

Miss Fortitude:

 

Thank you so much for your post, I'm balling my eyes out!

This has reassured me so much!

The fact that you took the time to write me such a personal post, means a lot to me!

I'm sorry that your poor mother had to go through that and also that you all didn't know it was the xanax, as you could have been saved this horrendous journey. I've told both my girls, so they know never to touch any of these drugs.

 

I'm so glad that your mom was such an integral part of your life and that her illness and recovery never got in the way.

I'm so happy that she went on to live a very happy, normal life after her wd!

 

I pray that I will be like this for my girls, I just keep praying that I will recover, but I have such a long road ahead of me!

 

I will cherish this post and reread it often to lift my spirits!

 

Thank you again, you made my day!

 

Hugs,

Winnie

 

[quote author=WinnieDog

Miss Fortitude:

 

Thank you so much for your post, I'm balling my eyes out!

This has reassured me so much!

The fact that you took the time to write me such a personal post, means a lot to me!

I'm sorry that your poor mother had to go through that and also that you all didn't know it was the xanax, as you could have been saved this horrendous journey. I've told both my girls, so they know never to touch any of these drugs.

 

I'm so glad that your mom was such an integral part of your life and that her illness and recovery never got in the way.

I'm so happy that she went on to live a very happy, normal life after her wd!

 

I pray that I will be like this for my girls, I just keep praying that I will recover, but I have such a long road ahead of me!

 

I will cherish this post and reread it often to lift my spirits!

 

Thank you again, you made my day!

 

Hugs,

Winnie

 

Winnie-

 

I'm so glad I could give you reassurance and that I could help!

Thank you so much for all of these posts.

I am going through a lot of what has been mentioned here and it's a living nightmare.

 

I get a period every 21-25 days which only leaves me with a good week because the hormones are changing so fast. And it's never the same each month. I could get nasty symptoms before, during, or after my period. I am 25 months out and can't believe this is not much better but it's hard to tell if it's the benzos or perimenopause (I'm 47) or what is causing what.

 

I also can relate about losing time with my kids. I have lost the last 2.5 years with my four girls and I am a single mom. They have had to take care of me and do so much because I've been so incapacitated and I considered myself a pretty stellar mom before. The oldest three are all leaving for college next year and it's going to kill me. It already devastates me knowing I'm missing out on their last years at home.

 

Anyway, thank you for this thread. It helps me feel not so alone with what I'm going through.

Hi Marigold, it took you five years to feel better? My kids will be grown and gone? I’m only at 5 months. Is there any hope of feeling better sooner? Like 6 months? 8? 12? I know it varies and I’ve read success stories ranging from 3 months (so lucky!) to years and years. I just want to enjoy the last of my boys’ childhoods :-(

 

It makes no sense to ask people how you will feel faster and everyone who tells you that he or she knows how to do that should not be trusted. Our stories vary although we share the withdrawal experience. I was polydrugged and had to taper a very long time until I was finally off all meds and had to build up my hole body from ground zero.

Also - the life you have while being in withdrawal is not a lost life. The sooner you understand that you need to live your life every moment WHILE suffering, the better you might be able to manage to go through the recovery process.

I learned to have good moments no matter how bad it was, and it was very very bad. You could see it the other way, you were blessed with the option to have children and its up to you how you cherish them no matter through what you are going in your life. I will not have children because my recovery took too long. Which is fine for me now, but I hope you understand what I mean, your life does not start at the point you are out of withdrawal, its better to learn to make the best and to cherish what you have right now.

You are early in recovery and at this point everything is possible. Why do you focus on these questions, I would use all the power my body leaves me to enjoy what I have, in your case the children, family...

 

This is so powerful Marigold. It brought tears to my eyes. I really needed to read it. Thank you.