What's the point

What is the point in me struggling, just to go back to my shit life? There's a reason I started down this road of psych drugs, and that reason isn't going to magically disappear.

Completely depressed today, 46 and single. Probably be 50 before I'm through this

Uhm...

Do you know the movie "Madagaskar" for children? With the giraffe? Who keeps digging a hole into the ground to die in?

It is your decision what "the point" is. You seem to have tried something with psych drugs before and it did not work well. So you tried something else. Now it does not feel good and you think what is the point.

I can tell you what for me had been "the point". I felt poisoned on these meds and so bad that I nearly died. In withdrawal I felt so bad and I had to taper different meds without any support or understanding and I did not know if I would survive it. The POINT, my buddy, for me, was simply: I need something better and I will go for it no matter what. I dont know how, I do not know when and if... all I know is that living like this with these meds will not work - and I deserve better.

Sooo.... if you think you want a different life and be able to work on that, you need to do the steps no matter what. Asking what is the point is a waste of energy, make your decision and then live with it second by second, minute after minute, - thats how you will reach your goal. Every human who went through agony has had these thoughts for sure, the key is - dont leave your path while having these thoughts.

Ps.

It does not matter that you are single and 46 years old, by the way. You can find the love of your life at any time, let go such pity and depressed thinking, cause it really does not bring you the love you want and it just eats up your energy. 

Ps 2: And just in case you might have thoughts like "this lady cannot know how bad my life is or was", - no, of course I dont. But I survived a real trauma with PTSD, I was polydrugged, lost my jobs and almost my life, I was bedridden for years, was invalid, and I do not know anyone who is more brave than I was. And it was worth it.

PS3: You are not alone in this!

Chin up!

Thanks marigold, bad day. It just gets on top at times as I'm sure you know

Sure! It will get better!!

so many times we have the thoughts of "why bother"...we've all been there. Hugs...

I have had many chapters in my life that were dark or unrelenting. Healing from these drugs has not been awesome either..

but like Marigold said, at some point we have to be intentional and determined to push forward and do all we can to turn things around. And sometimes theres a lot of uncertainty with that.

Thea early chapters of my life were not ideal. And somewhere in all of this recent stuff I have said that I will sure as hell make sure the end chapters of my book will look completely different than the beginning for as much as I can control. And I realize there will always be things out of my control - but I am in charge of how I choose to handle it or spin it for good.

I too am in my mid 40's - we have lots of life left. As long as we have breath there is hope! (preaching to myself lol).

You'll pull out of this. Sometimes we have a dark day where we need to sit and lick our wounds - but then we rise again.

What is the point in me struggling, just to go back to my shit life? There's a reason I started down this road of psych drugs, and that reason isn't going to magically disappear.

 

Completely depressed today, 46 and single. Probably be 50 before I'm through this

Based on your signature, it looks like you've really been through rough times for quite some time. So sorry about that. Far as answers, I've got nothing. In fact I feel much the same way.

What is the point in me struggling, just to go back to my shit life? There's a reason I started down this road of psych drugs, and that reason isn't going to magically disappear.

 

Completely depressed today, 46 and single. Probably be 50 before I'm through this

It won't be magic but I reckon you won't see it this way after your recovery. It's such a stark contrast when we start to feel well that the challenge for some can be to hold themselves back.

Call these your wilderness years. You will emerge.