Author Topic: Calm mind, severe anxiety  (Read 4520 times)

[Buddie]

Calm mind, severe anxiety
« on: November 16, 2010, 01:57:06 am »
Hello and much healing to all,

So, I am aware that anxiety is a "normal" symptom of withdrawal. Yet, I find my anxiety quite different and inexplicable. My mind is calm: no worries, bad thoughts, life problems or other triggers that might give me anxiety. However, my body feels wrecked with painful anxiety; I mean severe. At times my whole body turns cold or just burns. I have this constant sense of agitation that can lead me to tears and desperation. Sometimes, I feel a tingling or itching sensation in my brain, stomach, arms or spine--just weird. It is not normal. The days when anxiety is low, I feel like my brain is lost in space. I have tried sitting meditating and relaxing but it makes the anxiety worse, as if my body/brain has a phobia of relaxing my body.  I feel better when I do a physical activity and move around. I do things all days to keep the levels low like organizing or something, though I don't want to because I am so tired. I just want to rest but my body is burning with anxiety. At times it feels like my flesh is being shredded and on fire. For the most part, I feel a little bit better at night, I guess due to cortisol levels dropping. I had to give college a break. I could not sit in class; it was absolute torture, though I have always liked school. I feel that all my other symptoms are due to the anxiety, and if this goes than I will be 100% again.  Anyone else have a calm mind, but painful bodily anxiety? Is this normal?
By the way, I have no prior history of anxiety, at all. Super confident before this, sole reason Iíve lasted this far and Iím  determined to get better, though sometimes I give in but get up.
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[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2010, 02:19:35 am »


Yes, I had that sometimes during my Valium withdrawal.  Some people here have called it "inner vibes" and I call it internal tremors.  This seems to be a classic symptom of benzos.  Benzos are skeletal muscle relaxants, and so those deep muscles will tend to tighten up during withdrawal, and cause that restlessness and quivering sensation.  For me that was scary.  I never got the burning you are describing, though ..

Annie
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2010, 02:28:19 am »


Yes, I had that sometimes during my Valium withdrawal.  Some people here have called it "inner vibes" and I call it internal tremors.  This seems to be a classic symptom of benzos.  Benzos are skeletal muscle relaxants, and so those deep muscles will tend to tighten up during withdrawal, and cause that restlessness and quivering sensation.  For me that was scary.  I never got the burning you are describing, though ..

Annie


Sorry, misunderstanding, I don't quiver or internally vibrate, thank God! I just feel in a constant state of anxiety with a calm, peaceful mind. The anxiety burns at times and I'm very agitated, physically. It's not at all like normal fear, it doesn't at all feel like a normal human sensation. I do feel like it burns almost to the bone, though. I've had anxiety for 5 months straight. Ativan is hell on earth and should be banned as an abominable evil--a true crime against humanity.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2010, 02:37:38 am »


Hi [...], okay that sounds a bit different from the tremors I got with Valium withdrawal, and sounds just awful.  I've never taken Ativan, but I've heard it's the pits ..

Annie

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2010, 02:44:49 am »


Hi [...], okay that sounds a bit different from the tremors I got with Valium withdrawal, and sounds just awful.  I've never taken Ativan, but I've heard it's the pits ..

Annie




Haha. And never do! lol

Well, it's bad, I guess for me. I'm having my daily bad episode as noted. I just hope it goes. I seriously want to know if this ever goes away. I'm 20 WAY too young to feel this way for a long time. I gotta build a life and this is kinda debilitating my true potential. I want it to go and be ME again, though I have the feeling it'll take a while. I just want to know it went away for someone that feels the way I do.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2010, 04:01:57 am »
Hello [...],

When was the last time you took the wicked Ativan?  It's a short-acting drug, and since you C/T'd from it, that is no surprise you got  those symptoms. I'm thinking if you could  first reinstate and stabilize, then you might do a slow taper of say 10% every week or 2.  Do you have any Ativan left? 

Kat
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2010, 04:54:58 am »
Hello [...],

When was the last time you took the wicked Ativan?  It's a short-acting drug, and since you C/T'd from it, that is no surprise you got  those symptoms. I'm thinking if you could  first reinstate and stabilize, then you might do a slow taper of say 10% every week or 2.  Do you have any Ativan left? 

Kat


Um. Last time was five months exactly five months ago. I knew I was hooked two days after I CT because my whole body went on fire and anxiety has raged since then. I knew that if I took more maybe I'd feel better but I was so afraid about what it did to me in the first place. I flushed it down the toilet. I didn't have as much information as I do now and my doc has not been cooperative in what I explain; they think I've gone mad or something. At first I was shocked and in disbelief that such a small thing could do so much damage but I was fine, perfect health, before it so it had to be the culprit. I'm not sure what to do. I'm a constantly in a dark place, though I know I want to be happy and healthy again. This anxiety just won't stop.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2010, 07:04:47 am »
Well, that's understandable about wanting to get rid of the Ativan after experiencing such terrible sx's.  Now that you have more info, you can feel confident in  seeing your doc again and explaining your plan to taper.  He/she might still not want to comply, but if you can get the doc to prescribe the Ativan to taper with,  that is all you will likely need.

When I decided to taper, my regular doc was on maternity leave for almost a year then, so I had to use walk-in docs.  The first wanted me to change to clonazepam, and I had to do a bit of repeating and impressing upon him, and he finally came around.  Now I go to a different walk-in doc every 3 weeks.  Thats four different docs.  Two were very supportive, and 2 were  what I'd call "neutral", but they all did not hesitate to fill my prescriptions.

There's also the Ashton Manual, which you can download, but I think for this time it would be best for you to write down everything you personally want to speak to him/her about...stick to your guns!  You can do it!  You're young and have your dreams...Ativan is destroying it.  With your break from college, this would be the ideal time to start your reinstatement  and  stabilization.  Let your doc know how  much you'd need for the first month.  I cannot even think your doc would refuse to help you.  Just be very clear about what's happening in your life and your plans to be well again.

About the amount for the first month:  I can't give you any idea about how much you would need, as I don't know how much you were taking at the time.  Even so, I know little about reinstating and stabilization, so I think the mods and others who more experienced than I 
would be able to guide you though.

My thoughts go out to you,

Kat
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2010, 08:08:38 pm »
Hi [...]. I am an ativan survivor as you are also.I have the agitating anxiety daily. Mine starts about an hour after getting up and lasts 3-6 hours a day. I am 8 mths off and still have these feelings daily. I did a five mth taper off of 1.5 mg. Went real slow and low and have not avoided neither mental or physical symptoms by doing this. I don't feel reinstating is what you need, I think these horrid symptoms are the nature of the beast. I have noticed that it has lessened a bit in the last month after stating to eat every 2 hours again. I was loosing weight again from the anxiety feeling and it seems to help to eat more regular. I also have a calm mind, but i have this internal feeling of impending doom and it is draining! I need to recoup for a while in the afternoon to get thru the rest of the day. Once it subsides, I am physically exhausted.  Best to you. Stay your course, it sounds like what I have been experiencing, and once gone I will be back to norm also!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Calm mind, severe anxiety
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2010, 10:46:56 pm »
[...],
I agree with [...]. Although I was on Klonopin I think you've come to far to reinstate. I have the same symptoms as the rest of you and I don't really understand how it can go on so long but......since you were good before I believe you will come back to that. I am taking some supplements from a Naturopath that help at times, don't know if that will work for you but thought I would mention.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.