Author Topic: 4 Months Ativan free  (Read 2198 times)

[Buddie]

4 Months Ativan free
« on: February 12, 2021, 11:00:48 pm »
Hi buddies. Today marks 4 months since I finished a 3-month taper from Ativan. It has been challenging, to say the least, but I wanted to hop on here to confirm that healing happens!

I had a difficult taper, and my first month off was intense and difficult. Symptoms included lots of chemical anxiety and depression, DR, benzo belly, muscle twitches, fatigue, more weight loss (Iíve lost over 30 pounds total), chest palpitations, and my most frequent and difficult symptom, air hunger.

Over the course of the last three months, symptoms have eased, I rarely have Ďstay in bedí days which were the norm for me in taper, I am back at work, no longer experiencing any agoraphobia (this is huge!) and my cog fog is almost completely gone. Healing is happening, although slow. On harder days, I stay connected to my village who remind me of the truth, and not the lies that come with wd.

I currently experience windows and waves, which are mostly triggered by my monthly cycle or a food reaction. Iíve tried to reintroduce a multivitamin, but itís still too soon for that. I do take fish oil and a garlic supplement daily which I believe has helped to support my brain and gut. Iíve kept to a low sugar, low gluten, no alcohol, no preservative diet and I think it has helped a lot. But I am also sick of worrying about everything and now allow myself to have a piece of cake, or chocolate if I want it. Do I react? Sometimes, but I also believe that fear can lead me to dark places and I choose not to be afraid (some days are harder than others! Iím working on it!)

I wanted to jump on here and encourage those who are still tapering... you can do this. I always saw myself as so wimpy. Iím not, and neither are you. My resilience has grown, my ability to acknowledge my anxiety and move past it has grown, which is a huge gift. I know I still have a long way to [...], but I am living life, finding joy and allowing rest on days that are hard. I always say, where the body goes, the mind will follow. If you can, stay distracted, keep your hands busy, watch TV that makes you laugh, walk in fresh air, SING out loud.... the brain will follow where you tell it to [...]. And I am telling my brain, ĎI will healí 💗💗
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2021, 02:09:14 am »
This is the kind of message our members need to see, thank you for posting your progress.  When I see what you said about your anxiety I hope I can remember where I saw it because other members need to see it.  So many fear the return of their original anxiety, how can they deal with it without the drug?

"My resilience has grown, my ability to acknowledge my anxiety and move past it has grown, which is a huge gift."

This statement should give others hope, thank you for letting us see your progress! 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2021, 02:49:59 am »
[...],

Congratulations!  Glad to see you are doing well (as well as can be given the circumstances, of course) and experiencing an easing of symptoms.  You were so kind in welcoming and encouraging me in the Ativan taper thread when I was very unstable and first thrown into my nightmarish experience.  I want to say thank you for that and I hope your windows continue to open.  Healing most definitely happens! 

Best,

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2021, 05:24:18 pm »
This is the kind of message our members need to see, thank you for posting your progress.  When I see what you said about your anxiety I hope I can remember where I saw it because other members need to see it.  So many fear the return of their original anxiety, how can they deal with it without the drug?

Thanks so much [...]... and for the encouragement and advice you gave me during taper.

I want people to know that this process gives us grit. We are not weak, we are weary... thereís a big difference. My previous Anxiety, although mild and manageable, has always been part of my life. Withdrawal has forced me to look deeper into it. I read a great book called ĎDareí that has taught me that by acknowledging my bodily sensations of anxiety, accepting them, not panicking.... it goes away faster. Also, benzo anxiety is way worse than the anxiety I had before, so when symptoms start to settle, buddies, you will be so much better equipped to deal with it!! 💗
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2021, 05:27:03 pm »
[...],

Congratulations!  Glad to see you are doing well (as well as can be given the circumstances, of course) and experiencing an easing of symptoms.  You were so kind in welcoming and encouraging me in the Ativan taper thread when I was very unstable and first thrown into my nightmarish experience.  I want to say thank you for that and I hope your windows continue to open.  Healing most definitely happens! 

Best,

[...]

[...]... such sweet words. 💗 thank you!
This is hard. But we can do it. Look how far youíve come, from when you first came to the Ativan board, so sick, so fearful.... every bit of movement forward is progress! I pray you are enjoying every window and that itís fuelling your mind to overcome any obstacle, until full healing comes! Xo
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2021, 03:13:53 pm »
This thread gives me hope. Thank you so much for sharing <3

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2021, 01:44:01 pm »
Congratulations [...].

I had bad agoraphobia too, now I actually look forward to leaving the house from time to time.

Thanks for sharing your story. 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2021, 04:33:13 am »
[...],

Thank you for this wonderful update! We do come out of this much stronger and more self aware than when we came in. I'm going to look up the book that you mentioned.

Glad you are doing so well!

~ [...] [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2021, 08:44:54 pm »
A little update, and a warning.... Iím 5 months off today.

Almost two weeks ago, I had a stressful event trigger a wave that has baffled me. I knew after the event had happened that I felt Ďoffí and that I would probably experience some difficulty in the coming week. It hit me hard, with cog fog, shakiness, anxiety, chest pain, breathlessness and the return of the nagging cough that Iíve had since I started taking Ativan. (Anyone else have this coughing symptom?).

After a couple days, I felt like I was coming out of it, but then it would come back at night (usually my best times). Insomnia and sleep anxiety kicked in, which I havenít had in ages. Last night I had intense delirium, difficulty with speech, sleep jerks and complete body tension for most of the night. Something wasnít right.....

Today I decided to look through my journal and I believe what has kept me really sick is a Vit D supplement I have started to take (DUH). I feel so silly, and hoping that this wave passes soon. I knew supplements apart from my fish oil were causing me symptoms, but I guess I got over confident with how I was feeling and forgot that I am still healing!

I know so many people warn of this, but I assumed Iíd see a reaction shortly after taking it... I didnít. It would manifest hours later. Even my topical CBD cream for my neck revved me up yesterday.

This is a good reminder that my CNS is still so sensitive. Discouraging set-back, but wanted to share in case other buddies were in the same boat.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 4 Months Ativan free
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2021, 01:05:14 pm »
For awhile I tried to figure out what would cause a wave, but just when I thought I had it figured out, it would throw me a curve ball.  Last night I slept like a baby, but today I have some burning skin and feel a light wave coming on.

You can try changing things, but donít be surprised if the symptoms show up again.  You are correct, our CNS is still sensitive and healing.  Iím 13 months off and still get some symptoms.  Luckily I also get decent stretches of wonderful waves.  I stopped trying to find reasons, however I admit it is still in the back of my mind.  Next week I [...] for my first covid shot and I do wonder if it will trigger something.

Good luck to you and I wish you endless windows!

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.