I did it! One year free from benzos!

At the beginning, it seemed so long.  I struggled to get through a day.  Ahhh, 16 hours awake.  I just want to sleep.  But one day became two, one month became six months, six months became one year.  I did it!  One year without Ativan, one year without Ambien.  I did it.  It seemed impossible at the time.  I was dependent on those pills to help get me through the day, through the week. 

 

And now, here I sit, one year off of those drugs, facing reality on its’ terms. No faking my way through life, I stood up and faced reality.  It was tough.  I had to fight that inner voice trying to tear me down, trying to sabotage my efforts.  Yeah, life can be hard.  But I did it. 

 

No I am not healed.  The waves have been hitting me hard lately.  But I’m so much better than I was one year ago.  I feel things for real now—good and bad.  I’m real.  When I talk to people, they see the real me now.  No more coasting through life in that safe middle ground.  I’m really living now.  Things are clearer now.  I have interests. I can concentrate—somewhat. But it’s ok, I know I’m on the right path.

 

For those struggling, I send you peace and love.  Keep pushing ahead.  Don’t let things trigger you.  Look out for yourself.  Face your problems head on.  You can do it!  Deal with the issues in your life.  We let so many things bother us...just let it go. 

 

So one year out, and I still have some problems sleeping—but most nights I am fine.  I still get burning skin—but most times it fades quickly.  I doubt myself, I overly criticize myself—but I know it’s not all true and I know when to tell my brain to shut up!  I hope I heal fully, but it’s ok if I am stuck here .  I can deal with it. 

 

For those still struggling, keep at it.  You can do it.  I remember those early days.  It’s hard, but it gets better.  It takes patience and love.  Be calm and love yourself.  Every day without benzos is a success.  I never imagined going one year without benzos, but now I cannot imagine taking a benzo.  I’m free!  And I want all of you to be free too!

 

I celebrated my anniversary by cooking a nice stir fry for my wife.  (Grass fed beef with lots of vegetables...plus I made my own vegetable won tons...hey, I gotta make it special!  ).

 

Don’t give up my friends.  The answer to your problems will never be found with benzos.

This is awesum RShack x so happy for you! Amazing 🙌🏻🎉

Congrats RShack!!!

 

I'm so happy for you!

Sounds like you are on the path to full healing!

 

You have a great attitude!

 

Winnie

Thanks Shayna and Winnie.  It is difficult to keep a good attitude, but I try!

Very happy to hear that you are doing so well and celebrating by cooking up some delicious vittles for your wife!!!! Wish my hubby could cook, but, he does a mean dish loading!!!

Thanks gardenguru!

Awwe! After having gotten to know you over this past year - this is great! So wonderfully written:)

 

I'm a bit behind you so I gauge some of my stuff by you (no pressure lol). Can totally relate to off nights of sleep and the inner critic being harsh on some days. Focusing challenges me some days too.

 

Yes its crazy how far we've come, and none of us ever think we'll make it!

Yet here you are....writing what sounds like an appetizer..as the success story is the main course! (I'm assuming dessert is the profound wisdom we gain from all this..)

 

Thanks for being one of my benzo buddies. You'll encourage so many by this post!

Congrats RShack . So happy for you. And you on right path. I am also 1 week away from 1 yr mark of off benzo. I am on same boat as you and feel like improved in many ways but no fully healed. My main symptoms are head pressure, sinus infection or allergy type feelings and because of head pressure I think I have blurry and double vision. Hope it gets better for all of us :thumbsup:

you have always been positive so I always enjoyed reading your posts. so happy for you. 

@[JR...]

 

@trina:  right back at you.  So glad I got to know you too.  Last night I had trouble sleeping, and I can always tell when it is going to happen.  But I just got up and read till about 11:30 and then I was able to sleep.  I don’t fight the feeling, I just try to roll with it.

 

@little wing.  Thank you.  Glad I could help spread some positivity.  This world really needs it.

RShack,

Congratulations on being 1 year Benzo free and that much closer to your complete healing!

Your positive post will help many, I’m convinced of that. Your journey and the willingness to share it will guide those who need it through the darkest times and into light.

With more time you will heal fully and move on from this to lighter, joyful things with more ability to appreciate them than ever before.

I wish you peace at this uncertain time. And of course I wish you the fastest recovery!

Thanks for the kind words!

That is so great! You were kind enough to reach out to me during my taper. I'm now seven months out from my last dose. Like you, I'm not fully healed, but I am nowhere near as symptomatic as I was.

 

That meal you made for your wife sounds lovely! I'm so glad the two of you can celebrate this milestone together!

Congratulations on hitting 7 months off, that is a big accomplishment! 

 

Keep pushing forward and soon you will be at the one year mark!

 

PS: you were the only one to figure out that my username stood for “Radio Shack”

Hey Shack,

Great news! Time is your friend. I remember my one year mark. Odd but we will remember the day we jumped forever, I know I will.

 

Hang tough and keep the updates coming. Those behind us need hope. I know I would read posts like yours and think "one day that will be me"....I am 24 months in 3 weeks.....

 

J

Thank JStone!

 

Two years is a great accomplishment.  Yes, I will always remember the day I jumped, and the immediate hell I was plunged into.  In those early days I was convinced I was losing my mind.

Congratulations .. i'm in the same boat like you. My doc given me Revotril 0.5 mg just for some sleep..  i had palpitations proplem. nothing else. i didn't realise that i was actually poisoning my brain with this.. I had no knowledge about Benzodiazepines until I got some severe anxity and research about this med. Then i started doing my tapering my myself. i just jump off of 0.125 mg on February 22,2021.. At first i had mild withdrawal but from yesterday it feels like i'm living in hell. But i want to fight it. so lucky that I found all of you here to encourage me and guide me through my journey. 

Congrats. @ RShack....hope things continue to get better for you the further away you get being benzo free.

Congratulations! It's always great to hear encouraging words from those ahead of me :-)

Way to go, Rshack. I wish you more healing in the coming months. I know this wasn't easy. It's not for any of us. But it shows we don't know our own strength. Hugs to you.

Thanks all for the kind words!

 

 

RShack, this is great news, so glad you are feeling better. I’m looking forward to reading your success story one day. The meds (poisons really) and this horrific withdrawal will not win!