Jealous of people on antidepressants

[[Buddie]]

 Hi everyone,

Like many in this community, after going through benzo withdrawal 1 year ago, I can’t tolerate antidepressants anymore. Before this nightmare I was able to take small doses of antidepressants and felt they gave me some relief from anxiety and depression but now that I can’t tolerate them at all (and I tried everything, even having them compounded into tiny doses etc). When I read about someone taking them successfully (like on social media or a celebrity or someone on a forum), I feel super upset and jealous. When I read things like “Zoloft gave me my life back, I wish I had taken it sooner” or “Prozac totally eliminated my panic attacks and now I can do anything”, I feel immensely triggered and down. Almost like there is this incredible, life changing thing that other people get to take and I can’t. I know I feel a million times better than I did when I first got off of the benzos, but I still have the anxiety and carry sadness that was there before I took anything. It’s hard to describe but I feel like I am missing out in some way because I’m not one of the SSRI success stories that I read about and it makes me feel like I will never feel great like other people do. I am even triggered being around people who take them.

I have mentioned this to several therapists and doctors and they do not believe me and only suggest that if I feel this way then Ii should take them again. I know this is a strange rant (and filled with self pity) but I am really obsessing over it and feeling horrible about it so wanted to put it out there and see if anyone as any words for me.

Thank you

[[Buddie]]

Don't be jealous. Let me tell you, I've tried a few and always with bad results. I didn't get any relief, only got worse on them.

http://www.survivingantidepressants.org

[[Buddie]]

Thank you [...]

[[Buddie]]

Will 2nd that. There's a growing number of people in hell from AD's too and that number will only grow with the way they are prescribed for everything nowadays.

I personally started down the road of benzos because I was in AD WD, saw loads of doctors. Diagnosed with stress, fibromyalgia etc. Tried every AD under the sun, then the benzos. Each time making things worse, and now I'm pretty much bedridden.

You should feel good knowing that your life will be good again soon, once you've come through this I'm sure you won't need a drug to make you feel good. Life will be so sweet on the other side, you won't be taking it for granted

[[Buddie]]

You aren’t missing anything.  I was on them for years and they never helped and they led me to benzos.

CBT with the right therapist helped me deal with my depression and I’m glad I worked through my issues before I came off of benzos.  The benzos just masked things and after jumping I had to deal with my issues straight on.  I’m glad I had the tools to do so.

[[Buddie]]

[...], I was on a slew of ADs for almost a decade. Not one of them did me a bit of good. And some of them caused a great deal of harm. What helped me most was getting OFF ADs and addressing my problems (the ones that led me to take ADs in the first place). In therapy.

I just don't believe the BS that people spout about how Zoloft changes their lives or Prozac saved them. I personally have not known anyone who has been saved by ADs or had their lives improved. I would, if I were you, just discount the rapturous online claims. And really, the ADs all poop out. Whatever perceived benefit you're getting from them dissipates. Then what? More Prozac? I was once on Symbyax AND Prozac together for a total of 90 mgs of Prozac. Did I lose my depression? Nope. I ended up thinking that there was a creature living in my throat and that aliens were landing in the trees outside my bedroom. I was psychotic, thanks to my psy doc who upped my Prozac to unconscionable levels.

In my opinion, if you are depressed, it's for a reason. There's nothing wrong with your brain (!). It would be better if you stopped searching for the magic pill and got down to brass tacks with someone who can help you -- someone who does not have a prescription pad. Prescribing ADs, again in my opinion, is a lazy psychiatrist's response to a patient's distress. God forbid that any of my shrinks ever talked to me. Nope. That's not what they do. It wasn't until I got smart, and a little desperate, took myself off ADs, and found a competent therapist that my depression improved.

Anyhow, no, ADs never helped me one bit.

Best to you,

[...]

[[Buddie]]

I hear you. I wish I could go back to that moment I decided to taper off a small amount of ssri that was doing me just fine except for some sexual arousal issues.

[[Buddie]]

Don’t be. I know ppl in the same hell because of problems caused by ADs and WD.

[[Buddie]]

Yes mine is from ad's primarily. There were enough benzos involved to murky the waters

[[Buddie]]

So sorry they are not effective. I take SSNI's along with Gabapentin. That's about all I can do to get from one day to the next about which I still have doubts. Benzos are soul crushers.