CT after 4 months of 10-50mg valium daily

Hi all,

I somehow ended up on Valium trying to deal with sleeping troubles, I never took more than 50mg a day (average 30mg) and even then I didn't notice it making much difference to anything.  I sometimes took .5mg of Xanax as well but honestly couldn't say what the 'effect' of either actually was.  It helped a bit with getting to sleep at first, so I just carried on.

After a while I was becoming less and less like my normal, messed-up but cheerful self; lacking motivation, bored all the time... and it took a couple of months to realise that THIS was the effect it was having...

So I just stopped.  I was thinking 'ugh, OK, I won't do that again' but it's not been much fun since going cold turkey a week or so back.  It's mainly digestive troubles and a kind of inflated version of me always worrying too much about things but it's been pretty brutal. Like a long, tedious panic attack.

I had been on Valium before to help getting off opiates 3 years ago (can't even remember if it helped or not) and never had any desire to go back to it, but thought it would help with sleep.  It seems ridiculous now but I was worried that Doxymaline wasn't a good way of getting to sleep so sought an alternative...

Anyway this evening I took .25 of Xanax after a bad day which seems to have helped a bit but I know I can't do some protracted tapering thing, it just wouldn't work.  I'm not sure it was a good idea but I know Xanax is out of your system quicker and couldn't bear the idea of any more Valium lingering for days in my body.

In the past I've got over a pretty serious drinking problem (15+ years excess daily drinking) and a couple of years on opiates so I thought I was pretty battle-hardened (I'm 41 btw) but the valium withdrawals took me completely by surprise...  It feels rotten and I'm hoping to ride things out but I'm worried if I take Xanax too often to ease the WDs I might start to like them...  Maybe it's better just to stick it out, it's been a really miserable few days but it was kinda miserable being on them once I realised the effect they were having!

Apart from with a couple of drinks (which was kind of fun the few times I did it) I can't imagine doing benzos for pleasure but I'm glad I won't be craving them once this is over and done with, I just hope it's sooner rather than later!

Hello berties1010, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

I'm glad to have you join our community.  You found out what a lot of us did, that after a time benzos quit working and for many of us they have an opposite effect to what we were seeking in the first place.  I encourage you not to take any more Xanax since that can impair the healing process and actually create more symptoms.  You are right, it is better, much better to ride things out.  It isn't easy but it can be done.

 

This link will take you to our board for withdrawl support:

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

 

Look around and get familiar with things and when you are ready, you can start a thread.  Let us know how we can help you.

 

Best and again, welcome,

 

Kate

 

Thanks for the advice about Xanax, I don't think I'll do it again unless things get really bad.  To be honest it was partly reading on here how long WDs seem to go on for that made me think I'll need something in reserve, though I can see it's not a great idea.

I can tough it out for a while longer, a week or two so long as things start improving, but I'll have to figure something else out if I'm going to be feeling like this for months on end...

I read the success stories and assumed I would be one of the ones who could get off benzos and not suffer for eternity.  My experience was that I started feeling better halfway through my taper.  There was definitely some difficulty but looking back, it wasn't so bad and so worth it.  You can do this if you make a firm decision to.

My husband took "rescue doses" of Ativan after a rapid taper and I can tell you from his experience that he started healing only after he stopped taking rescue doses. With that said everyone does the best they can.

I wish you a quick recovery. YOu've been through so much already, you can do this!

It is upsetting to imagine that this could take longer than a week or two.  I get it.  You do not want to struggle and feel the need to have 'something' on stand by.  That 'something' really can't be a benzo, though.  It will not help.  Benzo withdrawal is not like any other withdrawal, and it cannot be rushed along.  Now you have CT, okay.  Fair enough.  You do not feel you can taper.  So, take that thinking and apply it to the entire process.  That means nothing on standby, either.  I suggest you get rid of the benzos, all of them, and just accept that benzo withdrawal is difficult.  The only easier possible way is to taper slowly.