PHENYTOIN AND NITRAZEPAM - COLD TURKEY WITHDRAWAL

I suffer from seizures since i was a child around 7 years of age i broke my arm and shouted as a child I did not know i used to do it ... but when it used to hurt others told me what i did. Never paid attention moved on...

In college days seizures increased during the night where in unconciousness i broke my arm and shouted a lot in the night. First time i went to doctor to take meds... it controlled my seizures different meds were tried. Used to get night seizures once in 4-5 years max. 10 years of only seizure medications no issues. I was absolutely fine. In 2019 i used to hear sounds no one else couldin the night crying sounds, calling sounds ... healed in a year around the beginning of 2020, 3 mobths since i healed from those weird sounds in the night, i had slight sleep issues due to stress i mentioned it to my doctor he prescribed me nitrazepam it was swaped with my seizure med ... i used to take two seizure meds one continued named phenytoin 100 mg (reduced dosage)  and one swaped with nitrazepam 10 mg ... 9 months taking these two daily durinv the night... sleepiness in the morning, wanted tk be alone always, i stopped laughing, most of the times irritated, stopped feeling love for everyone even for my parents, did not care about anything, my amazing girlfriend now my ex whom i was in love with i tried to push her away but could not leave her as a person as a friend but physically i am attracted but i dont feel or have any emotions my personality changed completely. I betrayed her i feel guilty but i dont care about anything i dont feel. I just want to go far off and live somwhere alone forever i will take my parents with me they are my responsibility. I left both the meducines 3 months back. Phenytoin i took for around 2 years and nitrazepam 10 months in total. 3 months medicines free I left them going cold turkey. I dont want to live a long life .. i know i will not and don't like myself either. I have faced several symptoms like pain in the back, metallic taste in mouth when i went cold turkey, muscle tingling, skin tingling, nightmares, i speak very less, i fear talking to new people, i have language issues mother tongue is fine but english i have to check meaning i always think i am speaking english incorrectly, typing normal english sentences is a hassle, i mess up words at times, i think i am speaking incorrectly but i am actually not, i forget things at times a little bit, i ignore my loved ones, i like specific corner in my room where i feel safe and good, i jusg want ti left alone, i feel sudden urges to be left alone and go back home immedjately in my room to feel safe, i am never happy satisfied or pleased.... what has happened to me i think this will never change... my ex has been with me throughout this she tells me to be with family and your loved ones... you will be fine in sometime ...withdrawal takes time" but i dont think i will ever be fine soon my seizures will come back ... will this ever end i try to find an escape earn money and leave from this place i dont want her to get attached to me i might leave anywhere sooner or later? I like risky things to earn earn and earn...i have weird and messed up thoughts that run my mind

Hello Vikani, welcome to BenzoBuddies, we are glad you are here!

I am sorry you are struggling with these medications. I will post a few links that you may find helpful. I'll start with the cold turkey board which would be a good place to read about other people who have been through the experience of CT.

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal

I'll also post the link for the withdrawal support board which is a good place to ask questions about withdrawal symptoms you may be having and to meet other people going through similar experiences.

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

I'll also post the success stories board. I feel that it is helpful to read stories of others who have successfully come off of the benzos and are doing well.

Success Stories

I wish I had some insights for you but I am not familiar with the medications you were taking. I can say that benzo withdrawal can be difficult and that I hope you will find resources here to help you with what you are going through.

Again, welcome!

SRR