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Severe mental symptoms, intrusive thoughts, severe anxiety support group


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Sorry to hear you are the same it's s**t this goes on for so long. Just get so angry as the other benzo information site I found, said going CT may delay recovery and  may increase the chances of being protracted, that B doctor caused this😟

 

I'm pissed off too.  Nobody should have to feel this way day after day.

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I'm sure I would have recovered by now is she hadn't made me CT. I never had any problems on it  instead she's ruined my life. It's not knowing how long I'll be like this or if I'll ever fully recover that find so hard. Just relentless with no windows. I'm turning into a bad person, can't even read the success stories as just seems to ram home how bad I still am all these months later.
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No I've never had Windows, had 1 hour briefly improved. I do think anxiety and intrusive thoughts are by far the worst symptoms. Had insomnia for years, but was able to work, go out for day, go to supermarket, shops. Wasn't 24/7 like this.
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  • 2 weeks later...
Feel like getting worse last couple weeks. Beginning think I am actually crazy . Just feel completely disassociated from my brain scary feeling. Just want to believe it will get better. How is everyone doing .
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Do you have any relief at all? Are you able to distract yourself at all?

 

 

I'm in purgatory atm. Just wish I could make myself less obsessed with my recovery.But yeah, not quitein a wave but not quite a window either. Some days its more so anxiety, others its more depression.

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Only tried couple nights of zop, think will wait bit longer then see if I improve. Been feeling worse recently, think the course I tried and supplement for my hair made me worse, never get any improvement just get horrible waves every so often.
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Absolutely fine, normal, no anxiety, would never have come off it given a choice. I had a life unlike now. Think it's too long off it  to go back on it and have same effects. I believe diazapam would help, but doctors here refuse to give it to you. Just feel my previous life is basically over.
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Sorry you are having to cope with that as well. Yes I'm beginning  to doubt recovery will actually happen. Feel worse than I did 6 months ago.
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  • 1 month later...

Hi,

I have tapered off, reinstated so Roche would give me a HepC treatment free (they insisted), tried to taper again but was unable to find my meds after someone stole them, went back into deep withdrawal, couldn't get usual brand of clonazepam and got different crap type every month, had to reinstate because Dr. made me get off years of prescribed Norco after broken back and spinal fusion. As my Norco taper got low, I was forced to updose (i guess the 2 drugs stopped pain and anxiety).

 

Sorry about brief history of benzo problems since first being prescribed clonazepam in 1992 after starting prozac which started the extreme anxiety. Quit prozac but have been through lots of ADs but never could get off clonazepam (except a whole year taper back in 1997).

 

Sorry I am off topic, but yes the intrusive thoughts all through this have been awful but just one aspect of many bad side effects.

 

For the last couple years (maybe caused by low dose trazadone for sleep) or just another bad benzo sx, I have had extremely lewd thoughts and dreams and constant sex arousal that feels like I am on edge of orgasm whether thinking or seeing anything sexual...constant unwanted feeling.

 

At first, I tried to masturbate to relieve it but either couldn't orgasm or if I could I got the arousal thing back even worse immediately. In fact, I think it made it worse but no relief.

 

I have also had much intrusive thoughts that people were hating me and became agoraphobic having to force myself to get out briefly just to get refills, Dr. appts, groceries, etc with much anxiety.

 

All anti-depressants I tried just made more bad symptoms. So now am on highest dose ever of clonazepam (4 mgs/day) and having this persistant sexual arousal with no cure I can find. The Dr said it was from anxiety, recommended masturbation and higher dose of benzo/different type plus another ssri.

 

I don't know if this is mental illness caused by benzos or permanent condition. I intend to try one more horrid taper after I have heart surgery but am so anxious about that I think a taper now would actually do me in.

 

Sorry if this makes no sense (another intrusive thought I get a lot about anything I say or do).

 

Will end this with a question if anyone else has this 24/7 lewd thought/genital arousal thing happening (Dr. called it PGAD).

 

Please advise if you have had this, do have this and how you deal with this extra tough sx.

 

 

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  • 7 months later...
Anyone Else out there got bad mental symptoms, thought were improving bit, since stopping unisom worse than ever.Suddenly developed severe OCD type symptoms, feeling totally miserable and alone. Thought couldn't get any worse how wrong I was at breaking point😩
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Hi leann. Sorry to hear you're suffering at the moment but glad to hear that there have been signs of improvement. I remember just how ill we both were when we had that ugly fight. Stopping something like unisom is always going to lead to a setback which is likely to affect your mood. Hopefully it doesn't last long and you're able to ride it out and get back on track.
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Really pleased you are well again. Just resigned to fact we don't all recover, lethal cocktail of CT and AD's done too much damage😩
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It can be helpful to accept that sometimes things are beyond our control. I believe in you leann. Even if you don't experience full recovery, I believe that things will get better than this for you in the years to come. Thank you for your kind thought. I'm not fully recovered but I am indeed doing much better and feeling well for the most part. I wish this for you too. Take care x
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Think I'll end up in psych ward, feels like complete mental breakdown, like nothing I've experienced before, GP won't admit it's withdrawal. Shaking, nauseous , keep pacing like I'm off my head
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Are you sure you don't have akathisia?  My story is very similar to yours.  Mental torture for 4.5 years, polydrugged, cold turkeyed.  When you said pacing that's immediately what i thought of.  It causes severe mental torment and antihistamines are a treatment for it so coming off it would make sense it would get a whole lot worse.  I'm not trying to scare you but your post just sounds so familiar to mine.  I also had an adverse reaction to antidepressants.  Took benzos (lorazepam) for 3 months, helped a ton, took away the looping thoughts and pacing feelings, but then went paradoxical and got even worse.  I am very slowly recovering.  I've been off all drugs for almost 2 years.  It's been HELL.  I won't even take an over the counter anything.  Won't get any shots and i'm careful of everything i put on and in my body.  My story is long and i can give you more details if you want but i too thought i was mentally ill so tried a bunch of different drugs.  I highly recommend against it.  But i understand the desperation.  My mental torment started right after quitting SSRIs which i was totally fine on for years so it's the drugs that caused it all.
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The pacing and all the other stuff has only started this week after stopped the unisom. I normally have anxiety but am still able to go out normally and do things. Last 3 days just been in bed complete mental mess. Our health service useless, told GP was suicidal only thing would give me was AD's. Yes would be interested in your story as our experiences do sound similar. I was fine on zopiclone, think forcing me go CT triggered this. Good to hear not only one with bad mental symptoms, but sorry you are also going through this x
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I'm just wondering if the antihistamines covered the akathisia and now it's full force.  Just a thought.  Since unisom is an antihistamine and they are a treatment for akathisia.  I was on SSRIs from 2011 to 2018 totally fine on them.  Was also tapered very fast by a doctor (4 weeks).  Intrusive thoughts started right after but i never made the connection.  Also panic attacks and about 30 other symptoms.  Relentless for 5 months and then just stopped.  Felt fine for about 6 months and then symptoms came back.  Intrusive thoughts 24/7.  Thought i was mentally ill so after another 23 months of suffering reinstated SSRIs.  Disaster.  Thoughts got way worse.  Then got akathisia (physical) and other symptoms and was tried on several other antidepressants and antipsychotics.  Put on benzos.  Helped a ton but then went paradoxical and body started convulsing.  Was thrown in psych ward and cold turkeyed off 3 months of benzos.  That was February 2021.  Still have intrusive thoughts all the time but started to get windows now.  Absolute nightmare. 
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I don't think so only been taking anti histamines few months  dudn't have the pacing when I wasn't taking them previously. I think the CT started it off, just mild intrusive thoughts at first,  like you the SSRI's made  the intrusive thoughts lot worse.. Did wonder if I had high histamine levels as that causes lot my symptoms, get awful hay fever so maybe anti histamines eased symptoms. So good to  find someone else with bad mental symptoms, I think it's hard for people who have mainly physical symptoms to understand how they dominate your life and make it impossible to remain positive. Will have to stay in touch our experiences seem so similar. Evening here off to bed. But has made me feel better and less alone touching base with you, thanks😋
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You're welcome reach out anytime.  I'm not on here every day so might not respond immediately.  Intrusive thoughts have been my worst symptom by far since this nightmare began in April 2018 but i feel like things are starting to finally shift for me.  You have to be so careful in this, anything can trigger a wave.  My thoughts were so bad after the reinstatement and benzos i would scream and try and rip my hair out.  Just absolutely nonstop and zero control over them.  I have about 10 symptoms left and the thoughts are the worst but akathisia is also bad but i get respite from it.  Also horrible tinnitus and other stupid symptoms.  I only went on SSRIs originally because i was depressed from losing my job.  Makes me so mad.  I feel like i should be compensated millions for what i've been through. Had to move back in with my mom at 37 after being on my own for 17 years.  Am on disability now and used to be a workaholic.  These drugs ruin lives but i have hope things will get better, because they are finally starting to.
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