Supporting my husband through clonazepam to diazepam crossover

Hi all,

 

Although I have been lurking around the boards for years, trying to find tips that might help my husband, I decided to join because on one hand there is no substitute for direct interaction and support and on the other, people often feel it's "just them" and maybe by sharing more information others will feel less isolated.

 

My husband has been taking clonazepam for 13 years and almost 4 months. He stayed on 1 mg until recently and he has not taken Xanax in over a decade although he was prescribed the medication. He always undermedicated because he was afraid of the toll it would take on his body and mind. We moved from CA to TX and with the lockdown he feels like he has lost all progress.

 

First he has experienced bouts of akathisia since February 2020; in October he had a terrible episode that included akathisia, not being able to eat or drink which landed us in the ER. There, they did a drug test and found zero benzodiazepines in his sample. Considering that he IS taking his medication, the next explanation was bad batch of medication, which may have also meant that he inadvertently cold-turkeyed himself. The next batch of pills helped.. a lot.

 

He finally found a good psychiatrist (after 3 different medical professionals wrecked him, one getting him on the medication and then disappearing on him, one refusing to help him taper, then returning, and the last one dropping him without continuation of care) who was willing to prescribe liquid diazepam and clonazepam so that he could transition and then taper... it did not go well, even though it started well. This is probably a topic for a new thread rather than the introduction, but I will say that he ended up having to go up 5 ml of diazepam (.25 clonazepam). The horrific time he's having within a week of the substitution is the reason that I decided to join and post actively.

Hi feelberlin,

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, we are glad you are here!

 

I'm sorry that your Husband is struggling with benzos. This is definitely the right place to get information about tapering and withdrawal and also to meet others going through similar situations. I'll start you with a couple of links. The first is the withdrawal support board. That is a great place to ask questions and to meet others going through withdrawal.

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

It definitely does sound like he went through an accidental cold turkey. Very frightening. I also have had experiences with doctors prescribing the drug and then disappearing. It's very stressful when that happens and was a definitely a reason for my wanting to taper on my own terms.

 

I'll post the taper board in case you are looking for some taper methods for your husband.

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper Plans)

 

I will also post the success stories board because it's good to read stories of people who have had a successful taper. It can give us hope that we will also be free from these drugs!

 

Success Stories

 

Also, feel free to browse any of the boards that interest you or that you feel would be helpful to your husband.

 

Again welcome!

 

SRR

Thank you so much for the welcome SRR and thank you for the links.

 

The tragedy of this is that he never wanted to be on the benzos, but he has failed some 9 antidepressants and at the time he was experiencing daily panic attacks that lasted for hours each. He had made remarkable progress until this year, in spite of the interdose and even tolerance withdrawal (he got 2 Master's degrees and was working on his doctorate, had started driving and going to places on his own... It's a heartbreak.

 

I don't think that any caregiver can know what this feels like- no matter how close, no matter how long. The Benzo community shares a unique understanding and a deep bond of shared experience. I'm hoping that what you know will help me help him, because you are better at perhaps seeing his blind spots through experience. Nothing can substitute that.

 

I hope to pay it forward by sharing some of his thoughts on the crossover and taper and that, hopefully, eventually, he will take over and communicate directly. He's in such a bad place right now..

 

I need to create a signature as well. Signatures are so helpful.

 

Again... thank you. So much.

Welcome feelberlin, you're a wonderfully supportive spouse to seek help for him with us.  He sounds like an amazing person who has done so much while facing many challenges, I have not doubt that the two of you will come through this and be whole again. 

Thank you for the kind kind words of welcome Pamster.  Honestly it's you guys... If medical science appreciated the horrors of the withdrawal process of many people... I often think about how Civil War surgery was all the rage back then and how it's looked at today. Pretty confident that eventually the way that benzos have been treated will be seen much the same way.

 

I do try to remind myself that the medication itself has its uses and can be so helpful at times- short, short times... but it's so hard when I watch what my husbands has to go through and read the boards... "Don't blame the knife", right? Right.

 

Thank you, again.