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New here, short term Ativan user


[Ka...]

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Hello all,

 

I have joined this group to express my gratitude for having a forum in which to describe my benzo physical dependency story after short term use and my struggle to get off of it.

 

In Sept 2020, I have experienced a few episodes of anxiety in a short time (about 5 episodes in 30 days), and I ended up in the ER thinking there was something physically going on. During the entire month of Oct and part of Nov, I visited about 6 specialists, had CTs, MRIs checking my brain, chest and abdomen, an endoscopy, echocardiogram, HIDA scan for the gallbladder, and all tests came back normal, except for constipation. During these 5 weeks of testing, I was prescribed 1mg of Ativan to take once per day before bedtime to help me sleep.

 

I took one pill every night before bedtime, and sleep was very good 8-9 hours/night. Even though my symptoms were milder, they were still present throughout the day. My daily episodes included the following intermittent symptoms: tinnitus, rapid heart rate, nausea, dizziness, feeling faint, chest tightness, abdominal discomfort and insomnia.

 

So, I took the 1mg Ativan once per day exactly 5 weeks total, until I started researching into it and realized I needed to get off of them in order to feel better. I spoke with my PCP, and we decided on the following taper:

 

Week 1: 0.5mg once/day (had 6 awful days)

Week 2: 0.25mg once/day (had 5 awful days)

Week 3: 0.125mg once/day (had 4 awful days)

Week 4: 0.125 mg once every other day (had 3 awful days)

 

I am now 1 week after my last benzo crumb, and feeling overall better.  I had 4 good days, and the awful days are still multi-symptomatic, however I am handling them better than a month or 2 ago.

 

Here are my symptoms on the awful days:

Extreme tinnitus with ears swooshing and pressure

Feeling of breathing toxic/hot air

Racing brain, electric zaps

Insomnia

Constant fear of fainting

Nausea

Dizziness

Tingling of extremities

Chest tightness

Abdominal discomfort and bloating with muscle twitches

Anxiety attacks with rapid heart rate

 

That is all I have to post at this time. I would like to eventually post a success story, however I am not sure when the awful days will finally end. I am shocked that only after 5 weeks of low dose benzo use, then 4 weeks of tapering, and 1 week post jump, I am still experiencing awful days. Does anyone have a short term use success story of recovery that took less than 3 months?

 

Thanks!

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Hi Karlitok2003.

 

Benzodiazepines are powerful drugs and it’s hard to predict how taking them will affect you or how fast they cause changes in your nervous system.

 

I’m glad you’re having some good days already.  You may recover from this quickly.  I would offer a caveat about benzodiazepines and that is this: repeated use/tapers from benzodiazepines tend to lead to progressively more difficult withdrawals, so keep that in mind if a doctor prescribes them again in the future.  Benzodiazepines don’t cure anything, but they can cause damage to the central nervous system that can take a long time to recover from.

 

 

Here’s a link to Post-withdrawal Recovery Support  where you can post to the wider membership for support.

 

Other members replying to your posts generally prefer to know where you are in the process, so here’s how to add your benzodiazepine information automatically to your posts: go to Profile, then Forum Profile, write your pertinent info (benzodiazepine, dose, taper history) in the text box and save. Thanks! Let us know if you need help with this.

 

Take care,

Challis  :smitten:

 

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Hello 👋

benzodiazepines are stored in fat cells So that is crummy, sounds like you are getting the whammy! The awesome news is you where on them a very short time so going by you information, I can say your looking at about 6-8 months and you should be back to at least 90 percent benzodiazepines are literally Napalm to your CNS! What is happening is that it’s reconstructing your body/CNS brain etc...to be Down regulated on all factions. If it where me and with the same amount of time of usage I would of probably cold turkeyed only because when you taper your adding more benzo time under your belt. But I completely understand why your going slow because all this is VERRY scary! And getting hit with all this shit at once can be unbearable! So all in all I think your gonna be absolutely fine !  :thumbsup: Don’t let my guesstimate time of healing scare you ! Someone like you with so little benzo time under there  belt really is on the better side of everything. So follow your plan and all should be awesome for you in no time!!! Good luck!

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Hello 👋

benzodiazepines are stored in fat cells So that is crummy, sounds like you are getting the whammy! The awesome news is you where on them a very short time so going by you information, I can say your looking at about 6-8 months and you should be back to at least 90 percent benzodiazepines are literally Napalm to your CNS! What is happening is that it’s reconstructing your body/CNS brain etc...to be Down regulated on all factions. If it where me and with the same amount of time of usage I would of probably cold turkeyed only because when you taper your adding more benzo time under your belt. But I completely understand why your going slow because all this is VERRY scary! And getting hit with all this shit at once can be unbearable! So all in all I think your gonna be absolutely fine !  :thumbsup: Don’t let my guesstimate time of healing scare you ! Someone like you with so little benzo time under there  belt really is on the better side of everything. So follow your plan and all should be awesome for you in no time!!! Good luck!

 

Hi Jimmyj,

 

It's impossible to determine or even estimate recovery time, there are too many variables.  While we hope a shorter time using benzo's will equate to a shorter recovery, I've seen too many short time users suffer longer than anyone expected them to.  Of course, I've also seen them come out of it relatively soon too but we just don't know how it's going to go.

 

I'd also caution you about suggesting cold turkey, at 5 weeks and in as little as 10 days the body can become dependent and a cold turkey is not advisable. 

 

Pamster

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Hi Jimmyj,

 

It's impossible to determine or even estimate recovery time, there are too many variables.  While we hope a shorter time using benzo's will equate to a shorter recovery, I've seen too many short time users suffer longer than anyone expected them to.  Of course, I've also seen them come out of it relatively soon too but we just don't know how it's going to go.

 

I'd also caution you about suggesting cold turkey, at 5 weeks and in as little as 10 days the body can become dependent and a cold turkey is not advisable. 

 

Pamster

I just posted this thread today where I quoted from Prof. Lader, apparently people who are off benzos can rekindle their tolerance with a single dose of something GABAergic. Adding more benzos under the belt may appear counterintuitive, but that's not how it works. I should've tapered, even though my "use" ended up being two days. Tapers really should be based on symptoms, and not some arbitrary time frame.
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Thanks for the comments, as they are very helpful in adding educational value regarding benzo withdrawal difficulties.

 

I am taking one day at a time, each one with the hope that things will improve and my brain gets back to normal and to the way I used to remember it. It’s still very hard to believe that I am on the second week post jump (6th week since tapering) and I am basically at the point where I have 2 good days in a row, followed by an awful day. On the good days I am not 100%, I am basically 80% being able to work, workout, and have a good appetite. The good days at this point consist of bearable tinnitus, ears pressure, slight chemical brain, slight tremors and lightheadedness. On the awful days, take these symptoms and amplify them by 10X, plus add palpitations, intermittent anxiety, nausea, chest tightness, abdominal discomfort, feeling faint, and constant state of fear.

 

Btw, I am drinking herbal tea at night to help me sleep and sometimes I take melatonin 3mg, which also helps. Nothing else during this time.

 

I am wishing all that go through this to keep calm, try to sleep as much as possible, as the better days usually occur after a good night sleep.

 

Just curious, is anyone else experiencing extremely loud tinnitus and constant ears pressure like when u take off in a plane? These symptoms seem to bother me the most.

 

Thanks! I appreciate all comments.

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The waxing and waning of our symptoms is maddening, just when you think you're turning a corner, it all comes crashing in again.  I'm glad to hear you're getting what we call windows, they're wonderful, a glimpse of your future healed self. 

 

It sounds like you're on the right track, sleep is so important if you can get it and in my travels here I've found that stress is a huge contributor to increased symptoms.

 

You'll find many, including pacenik who commented on your thread are dealing with ear pressure and tinnitus, you're in good company.

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Hello all,

 

I just wanted to post an update:

 

I am now 2 weeks post jump. I already had windows pretty much  every other day, meaning I felt 80-95% myself. During these windows, I only experienced slight tinnitus, slight lightheadedness, slight tremors. I was able to work, exercise, eat with good appetite, drive, go shopping.

 

However, the days with waves are almost unbearable  :( on these days I experience extreme tinnitus, extreme chemical brain with strong ears pressure, chest tightness, stomach bloating/ flutters and indigestion, feeling faint and nauseous, feeling like I am breathing toxic air, strong inner tremors from head to toe, heart palpitations and anxiety attacks, tingling of hands and feet.

 

I will post again in another 2 weeks, hoping to share more windows and less waves. As a short term user, I am trying to give hope to other short term users that faster healing might be a possibility.

 

I wish everyone a fast healing and remember that on the days with waves, the brain is actually healing, and that even with the constant fear and terror that accompanies every symptom, we are stronger than these poisonous pills.

 

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Thank you so much for coming back to document your journey, we have so many short time users who need to hear exactly what you're telling them.  I know your waves are rough but those windows are really impressive so shortly off the drug, I'm very hopeful for you.
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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello all,

 

Anyone a short term benzo user?

 

Here is my next update:

 

Today is day 30 post jump! I am officially 1 month off of Ativan, and feeling better everyday.

 

Week 1: had 3 windows (felt 80-95% well)

Week 2: had 4 windows (felt 80-95% well)

Week 3: had 5 windows (felt 80-95% well)

Week 4: had 4 windows (felt 80-95% well)

 

It’s still a rollercoaster for me, however there is less fear and anxiety as compare to pre-jump.

 

During windows: slight tinnitus, slight lightheadedness, slight chemical brain (able to eat anything, started drinking coffee in tiny doses, able to exercise, drive, socialize, work, able to sleep 7-8 hrs broken with no sleep aid).

 

During waves: EXTREME tinnitus, extreme chemical brain, extreme ears swooshing/hissing, strong nausea, extreme head vibrations, feels like an earthquake inside my head, Moderate chest tightness, mild GI discomfort with stomach bloating, intermittent headaches, strong chest tremors, vivid dreams that wake me up with the symptoms mentioned here, moderate anxiety, but less and shorter panic attacks with less palpitations than pre-jump, tingling of hands and feet, and last but not least: INSOMNIA, able to sleep about 4 hrs broken.

 

Wish everyone a fast recovery, just hang in there, there are good days ahead. Does any short term benzo user have a recovery story that was shorter than 6 months? I am having a hard time believing this will take much longer, considering I took 1mg Ativan only for 5 weeks, then I tapered successfully for 4 weeks.

 

Thanks! Any comments greatly appreciate it!

 

Karla

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Good to see you again, thanks for the update, you're making wonderful progress.  Your waves don't sound very pleasant but those windows have to help and you're getting sleep plus drinking coffee, life is good!

 

I was keeping track of another short time user, you might want to check out this link. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=250823.0

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Thanks for the reply Pamster!

 

I read Andrea’s post and replied to her, hoping to give some positivity. I asked her to keep updating and to let me know if she is experiencing similar symptoms with mine. Also, since she is still tapering, I will most likely be about 6 weeks ahead of her in post jump, so I told her I will keep updating my progress every 2 weeks, hopefully again to encourage her to stay positive and hang in there.

 

Thanks again for showing me her story as we can probably relate as short term users.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello everyone,

 

Here is my 2-week update:

 

I am now 6 weeks off Ativan 🙂 and the following has occurred:

 

Week 5: had 5 days of windows and 2 days of waves

Week 6: had 4 days of windows and 3 days of waves

 

The windows: slight tinnitus, slight lightheaded, slight chemical brain, able to function normally (work, exercise, drive, socialize), broken sleep 7-8 hrs/night, feeling 80-95% well.

 

The waves: EXTREME tinnitus, extreme ears hissing/pressure, dizziness, nausea, GI spasms/discomfort, chest pressure, air hunger, head vibrations, tremors, surges of cortisol or adrenaline, feeling anxious, broken sleep approx 5 hrs/night, feeling 50-60% well.

 

What is constant: every night I wake up 4-5 times, mostly due to extreme tinnitus and inner vibrations, however I am able to fall back asleep... I am still waiting for a night of sleep with no waking up at all. Does anyone know how long after jumping they were able to sleep without waking up at all during the night?

 

I am hopeful that things will continue to get better, and wishing all benzo buddies a fast and healthy recovery.

 

Karla

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Your ability to name your symptoms and assign them to a wave or a window amazes me, when I went through this I couldn't distinguish the good from the bad, it all felt bad to me.  I think my brain just refused to see any progress so it kept me in a constant state of negativity.

 

I wish we had an answer for you about your sleep but I see much hope for your continued recovery by the fact that you can go back to sleep and you're having windows.  Your brain is working hard to get itself right again, so whatever you're doing, keep on doing because your progress is amazing.

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Thank you Pamster,

 

I guess I am able to name my symptoms very well because, unfortunately, I am still documenting each symptom on a daily basis. I am doing this to see how they are shifting and changing as I get further away from the jump.

 

I am hoping that by writing everything I am experiencing, especially here, it is really for all others who read and can relate to the symptoms and not freak out wondering if it’s from benzo withdrawal or something else.

 

I am just grateful that I am able to function most days, definitely much better than when I was tapering, when everyday I was just hoping not to pass out or die, and was mostly confined to my bedroom and just taking a shower was a challenge.

 

However, with everything being said, I feel like I still far away from feeling back to 100%. I am hoping that will happen sooner rather than later. I will post an update again in 2 weeks.

 

Karla

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello everyone,

 

Not much has changed in the past 2 weeks. Here is my 2-week update:

 

I am now 8 weeks off Ativan 🙂 and the following has occurred:

 

Week 7: had 4 days of windows and 3 days of waves

Week 8: had 4 days of windows and 3 days of waves

 

The windows: slight tinnitus, slight lightheaded, slight chemical brain, able to function normally (work, exercise, drive, socialize), broken sleep 7-8 hrs/night, feeling 80-95% well.

 

The waves: EXTREME tinnitus, extreme ears hissing/pressure, dizziness, nausea, GI spasms/discomfort, chest pressure, air hunger, head vibrations, tremors, surges of cortisol or adrenaline, feeling anxious, broken sleep approx 4-5 hrs/night, feeling 50-60% well.

 

What is constant: every night I wake up 4-5 times, mostly due to extreme tinnitus and inner vibrations, however I am able to fall back asleep... I am still waiting for a night of sleep with no waking up at all. Does anyone know how long after jumping they were able to sleep without waking up at all during the night?

 

I am hopeful that things will continue to get better, and wishing all benzo buddies a fast and healthy recovery.

 

Karla

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To tell you the truth, I'm amazed you can even sleep, I wish I could tell you when you'll get some good rest though.  In looking at your list of symptoms I agree that not much has changed, I hope you're not getting too discouraged. 

 

Keep being hopeful, a good attitude really helps make this a little more bearable. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Karlitok2003, I am following you closely as we have similar experiences. Pamster has been great about her support.

 

I just did some calculations and took about 25MG Ativan over 3-4 months sporadically.....5 every few days but mostly .25 the past 1.5 months. I am tapering over several weeks and at .125 now. I've been anxious/down mood and jittery/shakey the past few weeks but it's manageable. Sleep isn't great but usually get 6-9 hours. Just want to so bad get off. I am talking to a doctor on Fri to get a recommendation. May either jump over the weekend or continue to taper.

 

How are you feeling now? Are you happy with your decision to jump when you did? Did you feel worse or better after jumping? I'd be happy to jump now if I knew my symptoms would be like they are now and then get better.

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Hi bluelake,

 

Glad you wrote me!

 

So, I jumped Jan 1st at 0.125mg, and I felt fine, no worse than during tapering. So in my experience, it was a good decision. Don’t be afraid to jump because you are a short-term user and you used 0.5mg or lower doses. I would have jumped sooner, however decided to play it safe and listen to 2 different doctors that advised me to taper the way I did. The reason I wanted to jump sooner was because I wanted the pills out of my body ASAP..  I did not feel worse after jumping at all... actually I probably felt sicker while taking the pills and during the taper... hopefully this makes your decision easier.

 

Not sure what kind of symptoms you are experiencing, but I started having windows from the moment I jumped... I had them every week more often than I had the waves.

 

I usually post an update every 2 weeks, so my next update will be on March 14th, at the end of 10 weeks post jump.

 

I am curious what kind of symptoms you are experiencing... I am pretty detailed when I write my updates. This is so others can read and hopefully not freak out if they experience the same symptoms, and know it is all from the withdrawal.

 

The sooner you jump the sooner you will heal 🙂

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Hi Karlitok,

 

So glad you are here. Thanks for your wonderful updates. So glad you are feeling better after jumping and so sorry for the suffering the withdrawal is causing.

 

I don’t have experience with benzos as much, but can relate so much about what you say about jumping since I have had the same experience going off other psych drugs. I agree tapering shouldn’t be too long if the drugs were short term, the sooner it is stopped the better. Applaud you for making smart informed decisions, way to go!

 

Thank you for posting your symptoms so others can be helped by them.

 

Please take good care. May you have many windows. Peace, Healing and Love to you.

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Hello everyone,

 

The past 2 weeks, I have experienced more constant milder symptoms with more waves and less windows as compared to the previous 8 weeks.  :-[ Also, the symptoms have shifted to manifest more in the brain/head and less in the chest & abdomen. Here is my 2-week update:

 

I am now 10 weeks off Ativan 🙂 and the following has occurred:

 

Week 9: had 4 days of windows and 3 days of waves

Week 10: had 3 days of windows and 4 days of waves (the waves were brutal)

 

The windows: slight tinnitus, slight lightheaded, slight chemical brain, able to function normally (work, exercise, drive, socialize), broken sleep 7-8 hrs/night, feeling 80-95% well.

 

The waves: EXTREME tinnitus, EXTREME ears hissing/pressure, dizziness, nausea, chest pressure, EXTREME head vibrations, strong tremors, short anxiety attacks, broken sleep approx 4-5 hrs/night, feeling 50-60% well.

 

What is constant: every night I wake up 4-5 times, mostly due to extreme tinnitus and inner vibrations, however I am able to fall back asleep... I am still waiting for a night of sleep with no waking up at all.

 

I am hopeful that things will continue to get better, and wishing all benzo buddies a fast and healthy recovery.

 

Karla

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Hi Karla,

 

I'm new here and have been reading your posts.  Although I'm a long term Ativan user (18 yrs), I can relate to your descriptions of the windows and waves.  I can stand the waves of anxiety during the day but my insomnia is brutal.

 

I have a question for you.  I have 1 mg Ativan pills.  My daily dosage was .5 mg per day.  Occasionally, I couldn't sleep, then I'd take another 1 mg. with my doctor's approval.  I am tapering now and am down to .25 mg.  How do you split the pill any smaller?    I have a pill cutter but I'm afraid that splitting .25 would end up just powder or tiny crumbs.

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences to help the rest of us.  I wish you well on your journey.  :)

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Hi Karla,

 

I'm new here and have been reading your posts.  Although I'm a long term Ativan user (18 yrs), I can relate to your descriptions of the windows and waves.  I can stand the waves of anxiety during the day but my insomnia is brutal.

 

I have a question for you.  I have 1 mg Ativan pills.  My daily dosage was .5 mg per day.  Occasionally, I couldn't sleep, then I'd take another 1 mg. with my doctor's approval.  I am tapering now and am down to .25 mg.  How do you split the pill any smaller?    I have a pill cutter but I'm afraid that splitting .25 would end up just powder or tiny crumbs.

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences to help the rest of us.  I wish you well on your journey.  :)

 

If you'll start a thread on the taper board, we can help you figure out how to get your pills into smaller doses, here is the link. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=56.0

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Karla,

 

Thanks for you feedback to jump. I jumped 5 days ago.

 

Last five days have been consistent with what I felt during the taper, maybe even a little better (anxiety sometimes a little worse) but still in down mood. I did have a great day on day 2. The jitters seems to have lessened but I did have some anxiety last night. Have slight tinnitus. Completely able to work from home which is my saving grace to put my mind to work. Sleep has been ok.

 

I am hoping to be one of the lucky ones and not have things get worse. I just need to see some proof of healing. Feel very down without motivation and worrying about when I will feel better.

 

Hope you are recovering well.

 

 

 

 

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