I am healed. What a ride.

I cannot believe that I am typing a success story here but will keep it quick.

 

In 2016 I came off of sleeping tablets known as stilnox. They are not pharmaceuticaly benzodiazepine, but they act on gaba receptors in the same way and thus the damage is the same and the withdrawal is the same. I came off cold turkey after a month's use but had used them at high doses for 9 months about a year or 2 prior. When I stopped this time I had bad anxiety and some twitching. I saught help from a psychiatrist who told me I had anxiety disorder and prescribed benzos. They stopped the symptoms but I felt horrible on them. I stopped them cold turkey along with an antidepressant that I had been on for about a month. You all know the story I went through an unimaginable hell of all the symptoms you can imagine, it was severe and heavy BUT the withdrawal only lasted 3 months dispite the horror stories I had heard of healing taking a year or more. After 3 months I had somehow come through. Severe anxiety, dpdr, severe nerve pain, burning skin, head aches, head pressure, fear, akathesia, involuntary muscle movements, severe muscle cramps, amongst other things were all symptoms that I somehow overcame.

 

Fast forward and about 8 months later after having zero symptoms for all that time I decided that I needed to take multivitamins assuming that I must be deficient after eating so selectively during withdrawal and shortly after. This was a mistake and for whatever reason taking the high doses of multivitamins and B complex threw me back into what felt like acute withdrawal or worse. Long story short I was really damaged. All the symptoms returned with new ones. I was exhausted, no energy, severe pain, severe dpdr, severe fear, anxiety, and I felt like I was out of my mind. It was terrifying.

 

I landed up in a psych ward under heavy pressure from my wife, as well as family and doctors. Here I was polydrugged on antidepressants, more benzos, as well as antipsychotics. This did not help, and being reinstated did not solve all the problems. I continued to suffer. 5 months later I fast tapered the benzos in hospital but stayed on the other drugs. I did not improve at all while on the other drugs and no doctors or psychiatrists would agree to take me off. I knew I had to come off and so 7 months after coming off the benzos and seeing no improvement I went to a drug rehab center because they were the only ones willing to believe that I was not mentally ill and that the drugs may be the problem. They took me off the other drugs over a period of about 7 weeks. It was hell.

 

2 years later I am doing great!! I have my life back thank God. I got better drastically fast after getting off the antidepressant and antipsychotic, although it was tough at the time. Once off my sleep began to return, the anxiety attacks lessened and became further apart. There is a lot more to the story but I will spare the details. Feel free to DM me if you need detail. I still had symptoms for months after this but they lessened and became manageable over time. They would come in waves from time to time but became more and more manageable. At this point I have virtually no symptoms at all, if I do it's very very rare and so mild they don't even class as withdrawal.

 

The main message is that recovery felt impossible. I was suicidal daily for over a year, I woke up every day saying okay I will live one more day for my kids but tomorrow I will end it. I did this every day, surviving one day at a time. I don't know how I got better, I consider myself lucky but also believe I did the right things. Forget about multivitamins and supplements to make you feel better or ease your withdrawal, this is a lie. I'm not interested in hearing about the one in 1000 people who believed that supplements helped them when it was likely a placebo. Supplements, in my opinion are more likely to harm you rather than help you. Believe me, don't believe me, I can only share my experience. Beyond that it is your suffering. So how did I heal? By eating clean, avoiding supplements and vitamins, avoiding medications and herbal remedies for sleep, avoiding alcohol (this is a must), avoiding oregano oil, and basicslly avoiding Anything that may be considered "medicinal" (including medicine, supplements, vitamins, herbs, essential oils and even teas).

 

Please understand that NOTHING discovered to date will speed up your recovery and anything you try can add time to your suffering. Let your nervous systems heal on their own in peace. Let them find their own balance, naturally. You can and will get better. You can kick and scream, and lose hope if you must... But whatever you do you must never give up. Future you will be so grateful if you just hold on. Best wishes to all of you 🌷❤️

 

P. S. there was a member here named Bye Bye Benzos, thank you, you helped me more than you could ever understand and if you ever read this I am sorry for the pressure I put on you, I appreciate you.

Congratulations on your recovery!  You went thru a lot!!  Enjoy the other side. 

Great story....so glad you crossed the "finish line" and are enjoying life on the other side with the rest of us that made it too!

 

Congratulations!

Thank you, thank you for coming back to write your story, it will benefit so many people, I survived this ordeal because of success stories, that's how important they are. 

 

I'm happy to see you're feeling so good and happy you let others know the reality of recovery, that your body knows what to do if you quit throwing other substances at it. 

 

 

Thanks for sharing. I agree that supplements do nothing. I've tried a myriad, and while I can't say they've definitively hurt me, they have not helped in the slightest. Wasted probably 1,000 dollars on supplements dating back to 2018 and they've done nothing for me.

Congratulations on your recovery!  You went thru a lot!!  Enjoy the other side. 

 

Thank you badsocref. I think we exchanged comments under posts when I was in bad shape. ☺️ Glad to be on this side with you.

Thanks for posting,

 

I don't normally read the success stories because unlike most it freaks me out to think how long this is going to take, but about time I faced it.

 

After setting myself back from supplements and AD's I completely agree that our systems just need to be left alone to heal, however I still feel the need to try and speed things up and am guilty of taking some omega 3.

 

Glad to hear you're doing well, and thanks again

Oh this is great! thanks so much for coming back to write this.

 

I especially love hearing the stories of those who have healed from polydrugging, bc so many of us on here aren't simply dealing with benzo recovery - it is often more complicated.  I am one of them:)

 

May your life be rich and full and blessed!

Thank you, thank you for coming back to write your story, it will benefit so many people, I survived this ordeal because of success stories, that's how important they are. 

 

I'm happy to see you're feeling so good and happy you let others know the reality of recovery, that your body knows what to do if you quit throwing other substances at it. 

 

Thank you. I'm glad other people share the sentiment that your brain knows what to do. ❤️

Rossho, what an amazing story. Thank you for coming back to give the rest of us hope. I was also on Stilnox for 6 weeks. It’s an evil drug. May you have everlasting health and a good life to you.

So happy for u rossho x congratulations

Great story. Supplement are totally useless for any type of condition.

I’m only a year behind you!! This gives me hope!

 

Please understand that NOTHING discovered to date will speed up your recovery and anything you try can add time to your suffering. Let your nervous systems heal on their own in peace. Let them find their own balance, naturally. You can and will get better. You can kick and scream, and lose hope if you must... But whatever you do you must never give up. Future you will be so grateful if you just hold on. Best wishes to all of you 🌷❤️

 

 

You are exactly correct! Stay away from the over the counter sleep and/or Tylenol nighttime products. They are probably great products but when coming off a benzo your brain wont react well. Time and hope. Try to eat healthy, exercise if you can find the energy. Learn to control your mind, take it back from the benzo.

 

Congratulations and this is a great post! People still in the fight of their lives need these posts....

 

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to share this wonderful story.  So cliché,  but quite literally for everyone here, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". 

Fantastic story of recovery, and proof that time heals all wounds.  Thank you for sharing, these stories really do give so much hope. 

 

Cheers,

        RR

Thank you so much!! I really enjoyed your story and your quick healing time.  This is encouraging.   

Congratulations on making it through that terrible ordeal! Thanks for coming back to share your story. I wish you all the best. 

Thank you for a truly inspirational story!  You have emerged from a hellish journey a better person from all your suffering, and can now go and enjoy a happy healthy future

Ok on the topic of supplements, do you take any now that you are healed? If you were deficient in something what would you do? Or did you find that your deficiencies went away as you healed?

Thank you very much for coming back and sharing your story

Thanks so much for coming and sharing your story.  After having some bad experiences with supplements and high doses of vitamins myself, I am very leery of them.  B Vitamins, outside of benzo withdrawal, are a big NO for me.  So glad to hear you are healed and doing well.  Blessings to your and your family!

Congratulations on your recovery. I'm looking forward to mine too. I'm in a big wave today. I'm 9 months off in a week. Feels like acute again. But I'm staying positive knowing this is normal path in recovering. Enjoy your new healthy life and take care!

Ok on the topic of supplements, do you take any now that you are healed? If you were deficient in something what would you do? Or did you find that your deficiencies went away as you healed?

 

Hi Hopful H.

If I have a deficiency in future I will do everything I can to cure it with diet. I wouldn't touch a multivitamin. I can't imagine the symptoms of deficiency being anything like what I went through in benzo withdrawal. I will find another way. I don't think I had any deficiency so I can't say any deficiencies went away.