PTSD - my first physical response

I had a knee jerk type reaction tonight...I felt like my Grandfather was hovering over me like he used to, it was my fiancé and I knew it was my fiancé but the eery feeling caused me to shove my fiancé away.

 

It was weird because I just did not want my fiancé near me, same as my grandfather...

 

I am guess now that I am not suppressed with the sedative these feelings are coming out?

 

 

Hold on, my first physical response towards another person since jumping off benzos.

 

I’ve had chronic anxiety about this since I was a teenager.

I wouldn’t examine reactions like this too closely right now.  Anger and other negative emotions all tend to spiral out of control quickly and aren’t necessarily a result of anything except, as you said, a knee jerk reaction, which tend to be hard to control in w/d and recovery. 

 

When I look back, that’s what I realized ...and it wasn’t necessarily the other persons’s fault at all.

Thank you for responding Challis.  I am making a huge deal out of it and unnecessarily.  I got scared and was concerned it was a sign that I was like becoming aggressive or something.

I completely understand.  I might be the least aggressive person I know, yet during a period of my late taper/early recovery I was prone to suddenly flying into a rage over nothing. Completely scary and baffling.  And temporary, thank the powers that be.

I would see it as a healthy reaction cause your body did react physically on a fear. You will be able to handle it - one can learn that. But for now, that's much better than being frozen or sedated. Kick them!