Made it one year as of today

Hi BBs,

 

I wanted to post this on the one-year anniversary of me being free of benzodiazepines since January 1, 2020.

 

As you can see by my signature, I was given Klonopin 0.5mg once daily (mornings) in March of 2004.  My doctor thought this would help with my social anxiety disorder.

 

When first taking Klonopin, I felt a sigh of relief.  I wasn't shy anymore, and could socialize normally.  I was able to do things that proved to be otherwise difficult.  I would continue on autopilot for several years until it being abruptly discontinued in the future.

 

In October 2019, my doctor decided he had enough prescribing benzos.  I distinctly remember him telling me that "they were watching him."  He stopped writing scripts to all of his patients.  Out of fear, I quickly researched anything related to what I was taking and withdrawals.  This is how I stumbled upon BenzoBuddies.

 

I read about the Ashton Manual and thought, "Well, maybe I can persuade my doc to taper me off with Valium."  I printed it out, made another appointment, and presented it to him.  Didn't care.  I told him about withdrawals and essentially his attitude was, "You'll be fine.  Just wait until it clears out of your system.  Split them up if need be."

 

Figuring maybe it wasn't completely over, I booked an appointment with a psychiatrist since they're notorious for giving people all sorts of meds.  Instead of Valium, she actually wanted to up my dosage of Klonopin.  She considered what I was taking to be too low, and one per day just wasn't cutting it in her eyes.  She also wanted to put me on antidepressants when I'm typically an optimistic person.  I told her absolutely not and never saw her again.  I decided this was probably a good time to quit.

 

In November 2019, I reduced the Klonopin from 0.5 to 0.25mg after taking a steady dosage for years.  A terrible wave of side effects came flooding in one after another.  Tinnitus, seasickness, supersonic hearing, sweating profusely, irritability, sensitive to hot/cold, brain fog, you name it, I had it.  I wanted to strangle my primary physician for putting me and every other person in his care through pure hell.  I kept on though, knowing it will get better in due time.

 

In December 2019, I again dropped from 0.25 to 0.125mg.  Oddly enough, it wasn't as bad as when I made the above transition in November.  I did feel my heart race a bit faster and panicked at times, but it seemed tolerable.  I made the Klonopin last until the end of the month.

 

January 1, 2020, I officially went cold turkey.  I was completely overwhelmed with what may happen not having a benzo in my system.

 

The physical side effects I mentioned did return, but only lasted a total of twelve days.  On the thirteenth day, it subsided.  Though, the mental aspect of it lingered on for quite a while, seeing as how I still suffer from racing thoughts.  Never had this before benzos.

 

Overall, I've been doing fairly well.  At 36, I no longer suffer from social phobia like I did when I was 19 years old.  More than likely, I just outgrew the problem.

 

I still curse my General Practitioner for not knowing how dangerous withdrawals can be in certain individuals.  I wish doctors knew what we do.  Information like this should be taught to those in the medical profession.

 

BB has been an excellent tool.  Even though I do not plan on returning, I wish all the best to those who are suffering.

Thank you for writing your success story, this will help others know its possible to get through this challenging time.

Congrats. I encourage you to write a letter to your doctor about this. Hell, write any medical advisory board overseeing your state. We have to spread awareness about this or it will keep happening to others.

Congrats and thanks for coming back to post your story. It means a lot to those who follow.