6 years with Xanax - 3 years without and totally healed!

Thank you everybody! I am healed! 

 

Can't write that much, because my intelligent mind has vanished most of the horrific stuff I've gone through past three years. That happens to you some day, even though you are suffering now. Day when it's all gone and you can be happy again! I know this, because I suffered, and I had times when never thought this day will come.

 

After acute 6 months my main symptoms was derealisation and depersonalisation. Totally alienated from normal state of being alive. That lasted many many months. I watched my hands and could'nt say is these mine cause I can't feel them.

This stuff with very intense intrusive thoughts was with me the whole recovery. Derealisation completely vanished after two long years of recovering, but it vanished, just like everybody told me here!

 

Last symptom I had was constant intrusive thoughts. Most of the thoughts were about very very disgusting bad things. I had to hide all sharp stuff etc. because I had this fear and evil voice in my head, and the scariest part was it always pretend to be me. But it never was, like you told me here, it was just benzos!

 

But after that stuff left me about three months ago, I've been free since.

 

It was all benzos and recovering mind. There was nothing to fear about. All these symptoms I had, and I had them all! I was many times in the hospital, full of fear, but it was never anything more than mind recovering. Palpitations, insomnia, existential thoughts, panic attacks, muscle pain, fear of diseases, am I going insane etc.

 

It was just the recovering that happened in me.

 

There was nothing to fear about! I am free from that benzo hell know!

 

 

This forum saved my life, and I wish you all the best in life and recovering.

 

Your life will be awesome, time is the only cure.

 

And remember, there is nothing to fear about.

 

 

I love you all! ❤️

 

Lightman

Congratulations Lightman!  I just read through a bunch of your old posts.  I saw a big improvement started showing up last summer.  You were finally able to accept then put those looping thoughts behind you!!  I am so happy for you! 

Congratulations Lightman so happy for your recovery!!!  Thanks for coming back with words of encouragement. What a wonderful way to close out what has been a trying year. You are indeed an overcomer!!

 

PG

Thank you thank you.

Awesome! I love a good success story. Thanks for sharing and congrats! 🙂

Congratulations! Thank you for this post. Our symptoms are very similar and this gives me hope!

Did you also have terrible brain fog?

thank you for posting

Perfect post for New Year’s! Congrats, so happy for you.

 

Love this! I agree with Challis - the timing is great for new year - hope for so many:)

 

May you continue to have a rich and full life.

So so happy for u xx congratulations x all the best for getting back to life x

Did you also have terrible brain fog?

 

Definitely! It was part of the chaos. But it's gone now! Wish you all the best healing, it's rough but definitely worth it.

 

And thank you everybody! Happy new year!

Lightman, thank you so much for sharing your story and congratulations on being healed finally❤ can i ask about your sx? You said you had dr and dp for a very long time? Did they go away at the same time about 2 years off or separately, i still have severe physical sx but my mental sx have started to improve somewhat and dr is completely gone but dp is still here? How long did it take for your depersonalisation to go away?

Lightman, thank you so much for sharing your story and congratulations on being healed finally❤ can i ask about your sx? You said you had dr and dp for a very long time? Did they go away at the same time about 2 years off or separately, i still have severe physical sx but my mental sx have started to improve somewhat and dr is completely gone but dp is still here? How long did it take for your depersonalisation to go away?

 

Thank you, and you can definitely ask!

 

I think derealisation left more radically, one day it was just gone. Derealisation was also more visible to me, so it was easier to tell when it begins and ends.

Depersonalisation faded bit more gradually, and yeah it took a bit longer. Sometimes it flared up, sometimes I only had some little weird sensations, but mostly after two years it didn't bother that much anymore.

 

All the best healing, remember it definitely goes away in some point. 

Thank you Lightman, really happy for you and looking forward to those times of healing:)

That's great You did a great job. I here zanax is the hardest one to get off of. You should be proud of your self. You will only get better as time go on.

I am so thankful to hear this story, like you, I am also tapering from Xanax.  This is very encouraging!

I am very happy for you Lightman.  I remember reading your posts.  So glad you are free.  Thank you for sharing success!

Hi Lightman, did you feel as if the intrusive thoughts would never improve? I'm 2 years off and they seem to have got worse recently, never had a window, just lot bad waves recently, and feeling of hopelessness. Most people's symptoms seem be physical, so hard to find someone with severe mental symptoms. Did yours gradually ease over time, I just feel they are the new normal for me. Glad you managed to recover.

Hi Lightman, did you feel as if the intrusive thoughts would never improve? I'm 2 years off and they seem to have got worse recently, never had a window, just lot bad waves recently, and feeling of hopelessness. Most people's symptoms seem be physical, so hard to find someone with severe mental symptoms. Did yours gradually ease over time, I just feel they are the new normal for me. Glad you managed to recover.

 

Hi there!

 

Yes, they took so much time to go away. It was pure hell, and I always thought they will never fade, but as you can see from here, those are gone now! About at 2 years and 6 months they just started to gradually vanish.

 

Remember, it will go away, sooner than you think. It's only the benzo that makes your thoughts like that, and you will be fine.

 

Take care buddy!

Thanks so much for sharing.  So happy for you!