Depression /Dreams

Though I've had a long history of Depression, I could at least usually find refuge in dreams. In fact, judging from my dreams, I looked as though I was a fine example of sound mental fitness. And though I was extremely depressed in my waking state, I could usually depend on my slumber to rescue me out of trouble. Not so since getting off Benzos. Now even in my dreams I panic as I see no escape. Anymore it seems there is the added element of anxiety. Nor is guilt far behind. If guilt to were to be considered a primary disorder, it might better explain the source by which all forms of mental anguish. (Guilt = anxiety + depression). It would then come from an ugly place that is guilt, given the dynamics of guilt. Don't know if this makes sense, as it does at least intuitively.

It almost as if such a disorder has become a solid and inpenetrable.

Anyone going through similar?

I understand your remorse, I feel it too but mainly for the time before I stopped benzo's, my actions and behavior were greatly affected by my use and abuse of Klonopin.  The only thing I know to help in this regard is time and forgiveness.  Time because it helps the memories fade and forgiveness of myself for what I did to myself and the pain I caused others.