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Yes!!!!! Merry Christmas! 🎄

 

I am so happy for u WIP! I hope it is smooth sailing for u! Wonderful news and really seeing another buddy off for Xmas is a gift xx congratulations  :smitten:

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I’m ok right now. Tinnitus. Trying to not rock the boat by drinking too much caffeine. I’m grateful coming down wasn’t too challenging. Getting stressed was the worst as it would really aggravate everything. Driving was a pain (I’m a secret and ashamed mild road rager on the inside. K actually helped with that.) Also, before tapering, I was doing the cuts and holding and that wasn’t pleasant. Thankfully I discovered this site and switched to a taper quickly.

 

Pretty much daily tinnitus. It’s like the hum of a kitchen appliance. It doesn’t bother me too much. It’s almost like built-in white noise. My eyeballs would wiggle sometimes and I’d notice that more when my eyes were closed or when trying to sleep. I gave myself extra time these last couple of weeks to slow down. Part of the reason was because my Mom came to visit and I couldn’t deal with tapering or jumping while she was here. I was too worried something bad would happen. Plus, I didn’t want to have to share with her what I was doing in case something bad did happen.

 

I’m very grateful it hasn’t been too hairy of a journey! But after all the reading I’ve done, I understand that I’m moving into a different phase of the process. Fingers crossed that there aren’t any big surprises. Thank you for asking! xo

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congrats WIP!

 

I have followed your journey down, and admire how well you had planned it out.

 

I believe that you have given yourself every chance for a very soft landing.

 

You've got through phase 1, now onto phase 2.

For the record, I think you should tell your mom, I'm sure she would want to know.

I reluctantly told my mom, even though I was embarrassed and ashamed of how I got in this position, but I realized that it's not by any fault of our own, we were only following our prescriptions.

 

You have given yourself the best Christmas present.

Please make sure you have everything you need to get through the next few weeks - hope you were able to take some time off work.

Try and have a great Christmas.

 

Cheers,

WinnieDog

 

 

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[37...]

WIP,

 

A massive congrats to you!!  This is indeed a wonderful Christmas gift to yourself.

 

If you feel shaky for a bit after jumping, come here and read Success Stories and reach out to fellow BenzoBuddies.  For lack of a better term, I felt a bit "naked" after jumping ... all those years of pill-taking were deeply etched in my brain so I stayed connected to the positive messages I found on BB.

 

All the best to you,

 

Kate

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Thank you preachergirl for your kind words and support!  :smitten:

 

WinnieDog, thank you for following my journey. I appreciate that. This pandemic has provided some strange quarantine wins. Like no pressure for social interaction. No stigma for being at home alone for months. The ease of getting everything delivered. It seemed like an ideal time for me to try tackling this beast. Maybe I’ll tell my Mom one day. Grin, maybe haha. I’m glad you confided in yours. I sometimes run through an imaginary conversation in my head:

 

 

Me: I don’t think of K as an addiction like alcohol was.

 

Them: But aren’t you addicted to it?

 

Me: My doctor prescribed it and I was just following my prescription. I became dependent on it.

 

 

LOL so I get what you’re saying WinnieDog. Thing is, I remember it was me who asked my doctor for this prescription. He just didn’t mind writing up a prescription for anything I wanted. So I did this to myself.

 

I’ll let you all know how it goes!

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WIP

 

Please let me know, I know it's hard for our parents generation to understand (don't know how old you are, but my mom is in her late 70's).

 

I had followed your story, because I was trying to replicate it.

I found this site too late to implement a nice slow wd in a way that you had planned out.

I was an accidental dependent after only a short time use of a few weeks, following several health issues, and I crashed and burned and am now stuck on trying to get off.

My dr wants to move me to K, which is how I happened upon your story.

 

Yes, the pandemic has been a blessing in disguise, but it's also what got me into this mess.

I was too afraid to go to the hospital in early April for an asthma attack, and I then took antibiotics I probably didn't need, which created a weird neurotoxic effect and panic and anxiety and weird reactions to foods - HR going to 160, that I took Ativan to lower it.

 

Anyway, there is no shame in going to your dr asking for help from anxiety meds, it's not your fault.

Your Dr. should have known that SSRI's, CBT counselling or Neurofeedback was a much better alternative to benzos.

Sadly, most Dr's in north america have no clue and just pass out the prescriptions.

I swear my Dr would also give me anything I asked for!!

 

So even though I applaud you for taking responsibility - because we do all have to admit that we in the end chose to put the pill in our mouths, your dr had the responsibility to tell you how hard they would be to come off of.

The sad fact is that most don't have a clue, and they are just trying to help their patients.

 

Good luck and be kind to yourself on the next leg!!

 

WinnieDog

 

 

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I’m ok right now. Tinnitus. Trying to not rock the boat by drinking too much caffeine. I’m grateful coming down wasn’t too challenging. Getting stressed was the worst as it would really aggravate everything. Driving was a pain (I’m a secret and ashamed mild road rager on the inside. K actually helped with that.) Also, before tapering, I was doing the cuts and holding and that wasn’t pleasant. Thankfully I discovered this site and switched to a taper quickly.

 

Pretty much daily tinnitus. It’s like the hum of a kitchen appliance. It doesn’t bother me too much. It’s almost like built-in white noise. My eyeballs would wiggle sometimes and I’d notice that more when my eyes were closed or when trying to sleep. I gave myself extra time these last couple of weeks to slow down. Part of the reason was because my Mom came to visit and I couldn’t deal with tapering or jumping while she was here. I was too worried something bad would happen. Plus, I didn’t want to have to share with her what I was doing in case something bad did happen.

 

I’m very grateful it hasn’t been too hairy of a journey! But after all the reading I’ve done, I understand that I’m moving into a different phase of the process. Fingers crossed that there aren’t any big surprises. Thank you for asking! xo

 

Sounds like u are in the right frame of mind for the next phase x I agree sometimes it’s best to be ready for the next cut or even the jump, I think there’s too much anxiety to do it unless ur comfortable with who’s around. It’s hard for normal people to understand what we go thru sometimes easier not to talk about x

 

The wiggly eyes! I had that for so long. Bizarre huh? Glad that’s gone for us both. So glad it’s feeling manageable for u x all the very best for the next phase

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WIP,  Congratulations on your benzo freedom!!  It's a huge accomplishment.  I wanted to start the new year free too.  I hope you have an easy time of it and your tinnitus improves as the weeks and months go by.  Ginger
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If you feel shaky for a bit after jumping, come here and read Success Stories and reach out to fellow BenzoBuddies.  For lack of a better term, I felt a bit "naked" after jumping ... all those years of pill-taking were deeply etched in my brain so I stayed connected to the positive messages I found on BB.

 

Thank you Kate! I'll do that. That's a great suggestion.

 

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Yes, the pandemic has been a blessing in disguise, but it's also what got me into this mess.

I was too afraid to go to the hospital in early April for an asthma attack, and I then took antibiotics I probably didn't need, which created a weird neurotoxic effect and panic and anxiety and weird reactions to foods - HR going to 160, that I took Ativan to lower it.

 

Ack I'm so sorry that happened. The beginning of this pandemic was such a terrifying time. It was all so new and there were no signs of hope back then. Thinking of you and wishing you a successful taper. xx

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WIP,  Congratulations on your benzo freedom!!  It's a huge accomplishment.  I wanted to start the new year free too.  I hope you have an easy time of it and your tinnitus improves as the weeks and months go by.  Ginger

 

Thank you Gingermint and huge congrats on your Thanksgiving milestone!

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WIP,  Congratulations on your benzo freedom!!  It's a huge accomplishment.  I wanted to start the new year free too.  I hope you have an easy time of it and your tinnitus improves as the weeks and months go by.  Ginger

 

Thank you Gingermint and huge congrats on your Thanksgiving milestone!

Congrats to u too gingermint!!

 

Thank you.  I'm happy I jumped, but I was nervous about it too.  So far just the usual windows and waves.  How are you doing WIP? 

Merry Christmas to all.  Ginger

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Hi Ginger,

 

Thanks for checking in. I post this with a slight mix of guilt and wariness because I know how hard going it is for so many folks. During the taper, I kept waiting for something awful to happen. And when I had my last dose, I was holding my breath and bracing for something to hit me. But I feel ... fine. I have no windows or waves. When I think about the title of this post, I think maybe it was inaccurate. Instead of jumping, it feels more like I “walked off” as others say. I still have tinnitus that I notice more at night or in the morning when it’s very quiet. During the day if there’s any other sound on like the tv or music then I don’t notice it at all.

 

I was a little irritated with my sister about something and found myself repeating negative things in my head. Then I did a 10 min guided meditation and during that it said “you are not your thoughts.” This helped me to take a step back and not let those repetitive thoughts consume me.  I bring this up because I think this overthinking may be related to stopping K. My thoughts aren’t blanketed by the drug anymore. But I don’t think this is really a withdrawal symptom.

 

I know it’s only been a few days and maybe I’m just looking for any kind of change but it’s possible my sleep might be better because today I slept in later than usual. Normally no matter what time I’ve gone to bed, I can’t really sleep past 6a. If I can return to enjoying sleep more, that would be incredible. I also know it’s still early days and will listen to my body and brain.

 

What are your windows and waves like?

 

Happy Christmas week!

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WIP,  Congratulations on your benzo freedom!!  It's a huge accomplishment.  I wanted to start the new year free too.  I hope you have an easy time of it and your tinnitus improves as the weeks and months go by.  Ginger

 

Thank you Gingermint and huge congrats on your Thanksgiving milestone!

Congrats to u too gingermint!!

 

Thank you.  I'm happy I jumped, but I was nervous about it too.  So far just the usual windows and waves.  How are you doing WIP? 

Merry Christmas to all.  Ginger

 

Well done!!  :smitten:

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[37...]

Hi Ginger,

 

Thanks for checking in. I post this with a slight mix of guilt and wariness because I know how hard going it is for so many folks. During the taper, I kept waiting for something awful to happen. And when I had my last dose, I was holding my breath and bracing for something to hit me. But I feel ... fine. I have no windows or waves. When I think about the title of this post, I think maybe it was inaccurate. Instead of jumping, it feels more like I “walked off” as others say. I still have tinnitus that I notice more at night or in the morning when it’s very quiet. During the day if there’s any other sound on like the tv or music then I don’t notice it at all.

 

I was a little irritated with my sister about something and found myself repeating negative things in my head. Then I did a 10 min guided meditation and during that it said “you are not your thoughts.” This helped me to take a step back and not let those repetitive thoughts consume me.  I bring this up because I think this overthinking may be related to stopping K. My thoughts aren’t blanketed by the drug anymore. But I don’t think this is really a withdrawal symptom.

 

I know it’s only been a few days and maybe I’m just looking for any kind of change but it’s possible my sleep might be better because today I slept in later than usual. Normally no matter what time I’ve gone to bed, I can’t really sleep past 6a. If I can return to enjoying sleep more, that would be incredible. I also know it’s still early days and will listen to my body and brain.

 

What are your windows and waves like?

 

Happy Christmas week!

 

 

WIP,

 

I understand your guilt/concern about saying things are going well for you.  I've had the same concerns since I know so many here have and are suffering but that was not my experience either.  I have felt good since I jumped and continue to feel good, actually better than when I was on Klonopin.  I have some neuropathy in my feet/legs but I am of an age where people tend to get that anyway so I can't easily attribute it to benzos.  Same with tinnitus, common in olders so who knows??  Insomnia has been my only real issue since jumping but people on the Insomnia boards reassured me that this would straighten out and they were right, it is improving.

 

Enjoy your good fortune and Happy Christmas to you also!

 

Kate

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Congratulations! On my own personal journey I found that the last leg of my taper seemed to keep me in perpetual withdrawal. This only became apparent when I jumped off and with hindsight I can see that the last low leg of the taper wasn't working well. I found after the jump off things started to change. I knew I was working through it. Also by this time I had come to abhor taking that poison. Also, next to the cold turkey I did in Oct of 2019, this was a RELATIVE cakewalk. I welcome the process, because I know that it's the only way I can be free of this mess. Each symptom I go through brings me closer. I had to eat foods that were easy on the stomach like oatmeal, yogurt, and I drank kombucha to help ×with the stomach pain. Also a GI Dr. prescribed me famotidine, which I think saved my life...the pain was stupendous. It can be purchased as an OTC medicine as well. I wish you all the best! I found the jump off easier than the initial large cut taper steps.
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I understand that feeling a bit, like it's not okay to celebrate when others are struggling.  I am also not having any problems.  It's been 8 weeks.  Not much has happened.  I take it easy, but I am really okay.  I hope others can take this to help them be less afraid.  And a testimonial to a slow cautious taper.  I am happy for you!
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Congratulations! On my own personal journey I found that the last leg of my taper seemed to keep me in perpetual withdrawal. This only became apparent when I jumped off and with hindsight I can see that the last low leg of the taper wasn't working well. I found after the jump off things started to change. I knew I was working through it. Also by this time I had come to abhor taking that poison. Also, next to the cold turkey I did in Oct of 2019, this was a RELATIVE cakewalk. I welcome the process, because I know that it's the only way I can be free of this mess. Each symptom I go through brings me closer. I had to eat foods that were easy on the stomach like oatmeal, yogurt, and I drank kombucha to help ×with the stomach pain. Also a GI Dr. prescribed me famotidine, which I think saved my life...the pain was stupendous. It can be purchased as an OTC medicine as well. I wish you all the best! I found the jump off easier than the initial large cut taper steps.

 

Congratulations on taking your last dose in August! I was reminding myself this morning how good it is to not have drugs coursing through my body. :)

 

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