90 DAYS!!!

I understand that 90 days (3 months) is still very early on, but it is still a milestone!  I still get horrendous waves, sometimes so bad I don’t know what’s going on.  But, I’m still trudging along!  My last bad wave lasted about 8 very long days straight!  Considering how bad I felt in the first 6 weeks, I’ll take that as a sign of improvement!  I get some windows.....  I think. I have moments sometimes just evenings, sometimes afternoons and evenings (depends on the day really) where I still have symptoms but they are very mild and barely noticeable and I feel almost normal for that short time ( these are my windows). Shout out to Pacenik, Betterfuture, Diaz-e-BAM, and Meganz for always encouraging me and helping me through my struggles when it’s been particularly rough. I appreciate all of you guys and all of the help and strength you give to not only me but everyone else here on this site!  You guys are troopers!

I'm happy to hear you've experienced windows, sometimes they're so brief you almost miss them and other times the relief is so slight you can barely detect them but whatever form they come in they're most welcome.

 

 

Thank you and Very true!  Those windows are most welcome!  And can stay a lot longer if they’d like!  I’m hoping that it’s a sign, that this won’t last 3 years! Or I will at least recover a little bit quicker!  Fingers crossed!  😊

Congratulations on hitting 90 days, that is a great accomplishment.  Now that you are starting to see windows you can be assured that you are healing.

 

Don’t be discouraged by the ups and downs.  There is no rhyme or reason for when the waves will hit, just enjoy the windows when they open up.

 

After 90 days I noticed an improvement in my sleep and I think this really helped me lift the mental fog.

Way to go!!! 90 days that's awesome. Well done! I'm cheering you on. You've got this! 

Ride those waves and keep going.

Congratulations on hitting 90 days, that is a great accomplishment.  Now that you are starting to see windows you can be assured that you are healing.

 

Don’t be discouraged by the ups and downs.  There is no rhyme or reason for when the waves will hit, just enjoy the windows when they open up.

 

After 90 days I noticed an improvement in my sleep and I think this really helped me lift the mental fog.

 

 

Thank you!  I actually started seeing windows around 5 weeks off. It was just from 5-8pm every night. Now it’s every evening and sometimes in the afternoons. I still have a feeling this is going to take a few years to heal though. Hopefully only 2 at the most and not 3. I guess only time will tell. I also really haven’t had any issues with sleep. I’m in bed by 8:30 -9pm. And get about 7 hours of sleep a night. I get woken up between 3 and 4 AM with cortisol surges but I still average around 7 hours per night so I can’t complain about that. 😊

Way to go!!! 90 days that's awesome. Well done! I'm cheering you on. You've got this! 

Ride those waves and keep going.

 

THANK YOU!!!!  It’s rough, but it’s got to be done. Guess I should get my surfboard ready. 😊😂

Congrats! Hopefully, you'll be one of the fast healers and be done with this by month six. Thanks for the shout out!

Congrats Paxia!!!

 

I can't wait to be off!!

 

It sounds like you are doing very well!!

 

Thanks for all your help!

 

WinnieDog

Congrats! Hopefully, you'll be one of the fast healers and be done with this by month six. Thanks for the shout out!

 

One can only hope!!!  Thanks for all of your continued support. 😊

Congrats Paxia!!!

 

I can't wait to be off!!

 

It sounds like you are doing very well!!

 

Thanks for all your help!

 

WinnieDog

 

You’ll be there soon enough. I did a rapid taper so my side effects are stronger and will last longer. You are doing it right!  Thank you for the encouragement but during my waves they are so bad I feel like I’m loosing my mind. Through those I don’t do well at all. Lol. You’ll be where I am sooner than you think 😊

Congrats! It sounds like we have similar stories and I’m a bit behind you. C/T Xanax 0.5 3-5 times a week for a few months, now ending week 10. I have the evening windows too, some day long occasionally or half day, still waking a lot (5.5 hours but wake 6 times). Hoping for a speedy recovery for us both! It may take a while to feel perfect, but I’m hoping for functional soon :-)

Congratulations!  On your personal recovery!  It looks like you are progressing faster than I am. But you were also on them a shorter time than I was, so happy to hear about your progressions!  Thank you for the short recovery wishes!  I’m hoping the same for everyone on here. Although, it will only be a handful that get it probably it is still nice to hope for the best for everyone!  This experience is the worst!

Hi Paxia, I think I was on longer - three months to your two and 3/4 but we are similar in that regard. I took it three months before that thought a few times a week for insomnia (no problems then but who knows.) You did the rapid taper and I C/T so similar there too!

 

I was looking at your intro and it sounds like we’ve had a lot of similar withdrawal symptoms. I still have millions of PVCs and take Cardeviol as needed when they are awful (maybe once a week). My heart rate is 110 on my walks (I was very athletic before!) I lost a ton of weight too. I had akethesia for a while and the most awful chemical anxiety. Only the past two days have finally been better, thank goodness. I had to take a leave from work as a result. I’m hoping this means good things to come. From what you wrote, I think our progress is similar. I tend to be one to suffer in silence haha.

 

I’ll keep in touch and follow your story! It’s always nice to find a buddie here :-)

Oh wow yeah. I guess I misread you’re signature. I’m sorry about that. And absolutely!  It’s always great to have buddies!  Especially since you know you’re not going through this alone!  I never had the akethesia thank goodness, I’ve heard that’s horrible!  I take metoprolol but I take it daily 12.5mg twice a day. The PVCs were horrid. Mine finally went away for now anyway. I think my cardiologist may possibly take me off the metoprolol soon though. My heart rate has been well within normal range since my 90 days. My average daily heart rate is anywhere from 68-72. Walking has been 80 to 90. Which is pretty normal. So I’m assuming I won’t be on the metoprolol too much longer. I am slowly starting to gain some weight now too thank goodness!  I’m so happy to hear that you’ve progressed!  Please don’t feel the need to suffer in silence if you ever need an ear or to vent or even questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out! 

Wonderful news! Very happy for you, Paxia!!

Hi Paxia, by far my worst symptom is chemical anxiety. I’d trade that for just about anything. So far it is debilitating. I hope it goes away soon. I hope it’s not two years to recover! I’ve heard 6 - 18 months and that seems true from most success stories. There are some outliers in both ends and of course long-term users with longer recoveries (and some short). That said, there are debilitating symptoms that hopefully leave in a few months (chemical anxiety for two years feels unbearable!) and maybe others that linger longer. Well, that’s what I tell myself to get through it!

Wonderful news! Very happy for you, Paxia!!

 

Thank you!!!  😊

Way to go Paxia, glad that some of your heart symptoms are resolving!

 

Fluffer - I know what you mean about the chemical anxiety - that's what I call it  as well. I only had this after I had that benzo given to me at the colonoscopy. Before that I was ok during the day, only headaches at night. Now it's a living terror during the day, with akathasia and the crazy anxiety, that I felt like I had to be locked up in an psych ward.

 

I'm trying to come up with ways of using that anxiety to my advantage - like exercise. But I really find it unbearable as well.

 

I did a rapid taper in the summer, but only got half off, then I had to put back in a small dose, but haven't even been able to taper off that yet!! I'm getting geared up to begin tapering off hopefully after christmas.

 

Hope the holidays are good for you both, and that symptoms keep dropping off.

 

Winnie

Thanks, Winnie. Jeeze, that sounds awful! I will never allow a benzo to enter my body again hearing that! Not for anything! Thanks for the warning. I hope we both find much peace soon!

Hi Paxia, by far my worst symptom is chemical anxiety. I’d trade that for just about anything. So far it is debilitating. I hope it goes away soon. I hope it’s not two years to recover! I’ve heard 6 - 18 months and that seems true from most success stories. There are some outliers in both ends and of course long-term users with longer recoveries (and some short). That said, there are debilitating symptoms that hopefully leave in a few months (chemical anxiety for two years feels unbearable!) and maybe others that linger longer. Well, that’s what I tell myself to get through it!

 

I can’t take the high heart rates!  Those and the depersonalization. It makes me feel like I’m going to have a seizure. I’m hoping the Metoprolol that I’m on isn’t stopping any healing!  You are lucky the medication you are taking you only take it as needed. I’m not sure if your medication increases gaba or not. Most beta blockers do. Which is very unfortunate.

Way to go Paxia, glad that some of your heart symptoms are resolving!

 

Fluffer - I know what you mean about the chemical anxiety - that's what I call it  as well. I only had this after I had that benzo given to me at the colonoscopy. Before that I was ok during the day, only headaches at night. Now it's a living terror during the day, with akathasia and the crazy anxiety, that I felt like I had to be locked up in an psych ward.

 

I'm trying to come up with ways of using that anxiety to my advantage - like exercise. But I really find it unbearable as well.

 

I did a rapid taper in the summer, but only got half off, then I had to put back in a small dose, but haven't even been able to taper off that yet!! I'm getting geared up to begin tapering off hopefully after christmas.

 

Hope the holidays are good for you both, and that symptoms keep dropping off.

 

Winnie

 

Thanks Winnie, my heart rate is getting better but not much else.  I guess that’s a good start though. 😊

 

I hope we can all find some peace in the next few days!!!!

 

 

Paxia,

Hang in there.  You are winning this battle.  On my bad days I remind myself that this is the last time.  I'm off, not tapering any longer, so once I get past this I will never have to go through it again.

 

I'm proud of you for getting this far.  I'll be looking for your success story when you are ready to write one.  Ginger

Just checking in to see how you are doing, Paxia. I’ve been having lots of palps (I have a beta blocker but don’t take it because my heart rate can go from 80 to 50 in a matter of hours) but anxiety is steadily decreasing, yay! I have night windows too - so wonderful. I hope you are hanging in there!