Jump to content

It's not worth it...don't put yourself throught withdrawal........


[fr...]

Recommended Posts

I stopped cold turkey for a month and I descended into a hell that is indescribable.....I reinstated and I will take this little pill until I die or until they make progress in the medical community..........seriously, the withdrawal will completely ruin your life.........
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I completely agree.

I should have stayed on when I went back on in December 2017 and not listened to the scare mongering on this site.

3 years later, my body has been destroyed, I have developed severe spjnal arthritis because of the severe dystonia and contracture, I am allergic to all foods and scents, I have lost sensation through my whole body inside and out, never feel full and can’t stop eating.

My blood work is a mess.

I have mastcytosis causes by withdrawal.

I can’t take the aspirin I have taken for decades to prevent clotting from Antonio blood cancer that puts me at high risk of a stroke

My jaw joints have been damaged and my teeth no longer meet properly- the oral surgeon says the ligaments are lax and J will need surgery.

None of that is because of my pre-existing illnesses apparently.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I completely agree.

I should have stayed on when I went back on in December 2017 and not listened to the scare mongering on this site.

3 years later, my body has been destroyed, I have developed severe spjnal arthritis because of the severe dystonia and contracture, I am allergic to all foods and scents, I have lost sensation through my whole body inside and out, never feel full and can’t stop eating.

My blood work is a mess.

I have mastcytosis causes by withdrawal.

I can’t take the aspirin I have taken for decades to prevent clotting from Antonio blood cancer that puts me at high risk of a stroke

My jaw joints have been damaged and my teeth no longer meet properly- the oral surgeon says the ligaments are lax and J will need surgery.

None of that is because of my pre-existing illnesses apparently.

 

Hi Ajusta,

 

Please provide a citation for your claim that benzo withdrawal cause a mutation of the KIT gene which is believed to be the cause of mastocytosis.

 

Pamster

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sure is worth it. OMG, what happened to me was truly truly unusual. I wernt CT off a 30 year habit of nightly benzos. Not all of them were legally prescribed to me. Whatever, I am SO glad I was forced to go CT off it all And yes, utter hells ensued. For a year I assumed I had up and gone insane. I am a nurse and thought I knew all about benzos. NOT. NOT AT ALL.

 

I dont like reading posts like this one because it could easily scare someone who is a bit fragile I am not Superwoman and somehow I did get through a terrible CT.

 

I can sum tbis up telling just a bit about what happened to me.

 

Back in w20q1w2 I was weak, frail, used a walker and weighed less than 100 lbs (I am 5'3"). I had to quit working because of all these strange medical problems I kept having. I saw specialists, about 5 of them and was told I might have fibrpmyalgia, MS, Parkinsones.  Not a single one of them noticed my benzos and ADs. And I FELL a lot. A LOT, as ion daily, caiusiong fractures and concussions.

OK. In 2012 my primary care doc finally sort of figured it out and he called my prescribing doctor and told him to NOT give me prescriptions. On July  q2, 2012, I went CT off it all. And yes, my wd was awful.

But fast vforward here. It took me several years to fully heal, but I DID heal, and the most astounding thing was how much my over health became! No more falls, no weird symptoms, etc. ALL of that had vbeen caused by my cear sweet benzos. I am incredibly lucky I was forced to go CT/ I know damn well that if I hadnt, I would now be dead.

 

So YES, it is worth it.

east

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hear the suffering.  I know waves are painful.  It can be so hard to keep on with the taper and getting benzo free.  And I am sorry for that suffering.

 

I don't think that people fear monger.  I think they describe the consequences of using benzos in their own experience. 

 

Getting benzo free is so worth it!  It is a choice, of course.  Benzo free for me means a life that I lead, and am not controlled by a pill that doesn't do it's job anyway.  It means clarity of emotions and thoughts.  It means energy for fun things and meaningful expressions.  It means having ambition and goals.  It means I recognize my own strength and worth and resilience. 

 

If you are reading this and thinking 'why bother', please know that getting benzo free is a journey.  And at the end of the journey there are so many rewards.  Take your time, ease out of benzo use, get help.  But I urge you to keep going.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Getting benzo free is so worth it!  It is a choice, of course.  Benzo free for me means a life that I lead, and am not controlled by a pill that doesn't do it's job anyway.  It means clarity of emotions and thoughts.  It means energy for fun things and meaningful expressions.  It means having ambition and goals.  It means I recognize my own strength and worth and resilience.

 

Well said, Healing.

 

For me it was a horrid struggle getting benzo free, but I'm so glad I did it. Benzos destroyed my career as an author . . . getting benzo free restored it. I couldn't have stayed on benzos -- I was in tolerance and the w/ds were awful. The tapering off was no picnic either, but I persevered.

 

It definitely IS "worth it". Posts like the OP's really disturb me. Because he (and some others on here) had a bad time, that doesn't mean others will. His experience(s) are his own.

 

Katz

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry but nonsense, I didn't realise the damage these things had done and so decided to stop abruptly.... And yes it was a bad idea, I went through the terror you describe and it was too much for me at the time so I reinstated.

But after finding sites like this and other resources where I was able to understand the symptoms, why my body and brain felt like it did and why it was beyond my control has helped me immensely.

Yes I done myself a lot of damage with that, albeit failed, CT...... But I've found a renewed hope through others successes and that hope continues to tell me that, if done right, tapering off (with the support of yourselves on here) will eventually lead me to a benzo free, and happier life over time.

 

I understand your fear after what you went through but please don't attempt to dissuade others from tapering, a lot of people have put in a lot of work to get to where they are in their taper or even off completely.

Don't boot my hope in the balls is really what I mean 😁

 

Anyway, aside from that I hope you are doing well and have a lovely Xmas, take care 👍

Link to comment
Share on other sites

but please don't attempt to dissuade others from tapering, a lot of people have put in a lot of work to get to where they are in their taper or even off completely.

Don't boot my hope in the balls is really what I mean

 

:thumbsup:

 

Katz

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The problem is that you are not safe if you decide to stay on these meds forever. You may develop tolerance, organs may be damaged, you may loose your personality, develop severe side effects. There is no safety - once you were in contact with benzodiazepines, you entered a world in which nothing ever is safe to say. Things can change so quickly. And you do not know in which condition you will be in case you need to stop them for other reasons. or in which life situation.

 

And - fun fact: What will you do when these drugs are forbidden and you cannot get prescriptions any more. And what will you do if this happens when you are older and not able to buy the stuff on the streets..

 

I was polydrugged and it was worth it because being tolerant from very early stage I could not live with or without these meds and therefore my walk out of this hell was horrible. However. I would do it again.

 

And speaking about the damages remaining after benzo usage. Some, like mast cell disease for me, were reversible. Others were not. But this is the ultimate proof for me that any second I would have taken them longer, would have harmed my system more.

 

My advice, no matter how you decide, is: Learn. Learn about biochemistry, about the processes in your body, about what happens in withdrawal and how these drugs work in your body. Learn why you and your system react on them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[14...]

What depends?

Worthiness of being benzo free. It depends on the circumstances. When I see people still suffering years post-withdrawal for them it's most definitively not worth it. For me it was worth it back when I was asymptomatic, now after rescue doses set me back I most definitively regret not reinstating and tapering again at a later time (in just two days I went from completely fine, to basically an invalid). So it depends.

 

 

The problem is that you are not safe if you decide to stay on these meds forever. You may develop tolerance, organs may be damaged, you may loose your personality, develop severe side effects. There is no safety - once you were in contact with benzodiazepines, you entered a world in which nothing ever is safe to say. Things can change so quickly. And you do not know in which condition you will be in case you need to stop them for other reasons. or in which life situation.

 

And - fun fact: What will you do when these drugs are forbidden and you cannot get prescriptions any more. And what will you do if this happens when you are older and not able to buy the stuff on the streets.

Many people stay on benzos for life with no problems. And besides, whatever being on benzos can do to you, withdrawing from them can do worse.

 

Cross that bridge when you get to it. There's never an opportune moment for withdrawal, but perhaps in time research will advance as dangers of psychiatric drugs are recognized, and so maybe better treatments will develop.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pacenik: you're talking our of your suffering. Maybe once you hit healing your opinion will be different. The majority of people heal, and there's no reason it can't be you.  :smitten:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[14...]

Pacenik: you're talking our of your suffering. Maybe once you hit healing your opinion will be different. The majority of people heal, and there's no reason it can't be you.  :smitten:

What I'm saying is, it is worth it, just not categorically so, and not by any means necessary. I now realize I was stupid ingrate, I had two asymptomatic tapers, only to get setbacked each time right at the end, and then instead of calmly restarting the taper yet again (which would've probaly been equaly asymptomatic and done by now), I proceeded cold-turkey just because I wanted to be free of the damned drugs already. Now, half-a-year later I'm seeing the foolishness of my wanting to be "free of drugs already". Being drug-free is the wrong imperative. Imerative should be being healthy and functional.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I stopped cold turkey for a month and I descended into a hell that is indescribable.....I reinstated and I will take this little pill until I die or until they make progress in the medical community..........seriously, the withdrawal will completely ruin your life.........

 

I thought I would put some encouragement, some support & some positive words here.

 

I’m almost 11 months out from going cold Turkey.  Yes I thought I was somewhere worse than hell & that I was dying.  Please please please do not let other people’s experiences deter you & frighten you into going back on Valium.  I am getting through it, sometimes I still feel the sheer terror of withdrawal - but it’s all worth it.  I get windows of normalacy & it is pure heaven.  No matter what you will heal, you will have to dig deeper than you have ever dug before but you will get through withdrawal - you will heal.  Please, wherever you are on this journey, please do not loose hope - Benzo’s do not have to hold you hostage for the rest of your life.  Get a good benzo savvy GP, find a great therapist, tell trusted family & friends.  Believe in yourself & yeast yourself like you would your own best froend,  you can get off Benzo’s.  I certainly don’t recommend cold turkey - a slow, steady & safe taper via the Ashton manual,  be patient, be kind to yourself.  I promise you will get through this.  You will learn a lot about yourself - you will realise that you are stronger than you ever knew.  Please don’t give up.  There is a lot of light at the end of the tunnel. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What I'm saying is, it is worth it, just not categorically so, and not by any means necessary. I now realize I was stupid ingrate, I had two asymptomatic tapers, only to get setbacked each time right at the end, and then instead of calmly restarting the taper yet again (which would've probaly been equaly asymptomatic and done by now), I proceeded cold-turkey just because I wanted to be free of the damned drugs already. Now, half-a-year later I'm seeing the foolishness of my wanting to be "free of drugs already". Being drug-free is the wrong imperative. Imerative should be being healthy and functional.

 

Well then you need to change the title of this topic, man.

 

however, I feel you. It is so frustrating, this process. I can feel your anger towards yourself, but please - be more kind. You did it 2 times and in the end it may have been the wrong way to stop the benzo, okey, but this is not the end of the world. Your decision to stay on the benzo does not mean it will last forever. you can change your mind, try again in a different way or get support of a form you need to go through that hell again - the future holds a lot of the factor X, the unknown. There is nothing wrong about saying, well, I am going to taper this med for the next 2 years. Why not.

 

Just keep in mind, that your 2 attempts were not pure failure, although you see it like that. We learn with our experiences, okey? Being harsh or pathetic does not help. Sometimes we need to fail, balance out and try again later. Sometimes life forces us to do things. I just want to encourage everyone to let go from black and white and see more options. I know this is nearly impossible on benzos or in withdrawal though.

 

Hugs!

Marigold

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am new to the site and have just started looking into getting off of benzos.  This is the first posting that I have truly related to.  Most everyone on this forum has already decided to end their use.  I understand the hesitation that is being discussed on this post.

 

The reality is that for me the benzos work.  I know that I am dependent on them but they allow me to function well and live a normal life.  My only true concern is that my doctor is trying to reduce my prescription and my husband thinks I am showing signs of addiction.  Many people have to take medication for life.  The medication I need is just for a mental health condition, not a physical one.  How am I wrong for not wanting to go through the absolute hell of withdrawal?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am new to the site and have just started looking into getting off of benzos.  This is the first posting that I have truly related to.  Most everyone on this forum has already decided to end their use.  I understand the hesitation that is being discussed on this post.

 

The reality is that for me the benzos work.  I know that I am dependent on them but they allow me to function well and live a normal life.  My only true concern is that my doctor is trying to reduce my prescription and my husband thinks I am showing signs of addiction.  Many people have to take medication for life.  The medication I need is just for a mental health condition, not a physical one.  How am I wrong for not wanting to go through the absolute hell of withdrawal?

 

This feeling is completely logical. You did not have any bad side effects yet, so the wish to withdraw is not huge. Logical. This might change when you need a higher dosage to function, what happens quite often. It is comparable to people drinking. They can function for years but at some point it does not work with the same amount any more and the health suffers as well. I have seen people reaching tolerance after years without any problem but then it was a nightmare to withdraw. Maybe it is a good idea to get rid of them now, as slowly as possible. I have taken almost every medication for mental health and in the end I was on over 10 meds. The reality is that I now don't have any Mental problems any more cause I had to learn how to cope without medication. If you husband says you are showing signs of addiction this might become more. I remember that I could not live a free life any more, I had to carry pills with me all the time, I was in a hurry to get home and take the dosage in the evening, it became more and more complicated. Besides this, benzos do change your personality like every other substance working on neuro transmitters, but that's all just my point of view.

And I think the fear your doctor will not give you prescriptions any more in the future is real as well. Benzos are more and more banned for a use on a daily basis which is good I think. There are options out there more safe and less harming.

Have you read the Ashton Protocol? Professor Ashton was a very good doctor and did some research about benzos. In her protocol you can read all about a proper withdrawal, side effect, long term usage and so on. Maybe this is a helpful source since here are mostly people who are in withdrawal or out of withdrawal:-)

 

Withdrawal is not hell. If done slowly and in a correct way, many people can withdraw without problems. And even if it is hurtful, many of us have a good life after benzos. I think the only position most shared on the board is that most of us, if we were able to travel back in time, would never have started a benzo. Makes life too complicated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is worth it... but cold turkey isn’t the best way to get there.

 

Agree 100%

 

 

It’s gonna be tough most likely but cold turkey is literally like taking your shoes off and walking home in the snow. Both are tough but why take your shoes off? So much worse

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Benzos work.  Until they don't.  You never know when that day will come.  Benzos are sneaky thieves in the night.  They skew thinking and then they take over your life. 

 

Being benzo free means I am not controlled by a pill any longer.  I have learned to manage anxiety and insomnia and whatever else was my excuse to take them.  I feel stronger, freer, happier than I ever did on benzos. 

 

I have not met a doctor in years that is okay with benzo prescribing.  They prescribed, but it has become more and more clear that this is going to end.  I am relieved to be off these pills before a doctor told me it's done and forced to go cold turkey.

 

A mental health problem is a challenge.  There is nothing wrong with wanting help for that and going to a doctor.  It's just that benzos do not actually treat the problem.  Eventually, they create a whole new problem.  Dependency.  Addiction.  And the old problem comes back with greater intensity.  Benzos do not work, in fact. 

 

The horrors of withdrawal can be greatly alleviated by not going cold turkey.  Do a sensible slow safe taper. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...