Inner ear pain/pressure

pacenik, if you are thinking about reinstating benzos and adding Memantine, I can't tell you whether that would help you or not. I've had the ear pressure, but not the tinnitus. But I asume it's a problem with excess glutumate (aren't pretty much all w/d symptoms due to glutumate excitotoxicity?), maybe Memantine would work as a standalone. There are threads/posts from people who have had Ketamine infusions, some succcessful, others not - Memantine works like Ketamine, in that it blocks the NMDA receptors, acting as a glutumate antagonist. Problem is there are very few studies, research is limited. So you would be taking a shot in the dark, and it may do nothing for you, just like Ketamine hasn't helped many.

 

On the other hand, it is relatively safe, does not cause dependency, but theses initial side effects I'm having have hit me hard. So the downside is that it is making me feel miserable, mostly due to the back and stomach pain and problems eating. Much of what is out there is anecdotal, some Neuro and Psych docs have used it off-label to assist with benzo w/d, I wish they would share more of their experience with how their patients did. My Psych provider was able to find and access a few small studies, all were very promising. My Endo says the theory behind how it works and what happens during benzo w/d indicate that it would be benficial. Obviously, much more research needs to be done, and there needs to be those willing to do it. I'm basically a guinea pig or lab rat, even I don't know if this will work. And neither do my medical providers.

 

I can't advise you on how much to take, how long it would take to work. I started at 2.5 mg (half a 5 mg pill), and as I get futher along in my taper, the dose may need upping. With Alzheimers patients, they start low dose (5 mg) and then gradually increase it. And you may have entirely different side effects than I am having. You'd have to talk to your doctor(s) about this, Neurologists seem to have the most knowledge, and they have used it for Parkinson's and ALS in addition to benzo w/d. There is even a small study done on children with Autism, with the aim to do larger studies. Being autistic, that captured my attention. The study authors wondered if glutamate played a role in certain autistic behaviors. Glutamate is, afterall, an excitatory substance, it counteracts GABA with is the relaxing, calming one. Without GABA, we know glutumate goes awry.

 

Memantine may help or hurt you, just like Ketamine. Read up on the Buddies who went the Ketamine route. Yes, you could reinstate and add Memantine, but there are risks with reinstating when you've been off so long. Some had great succcess, others were left with regrets. I wasn't off very long before reinstating. I wish I had something more positive to offer, but I am too early in this journey to know yet it's effect on me. I plan on starting a blog of my experience after the holidays, follow my journey and see my progress as I go.

pacenik, if you are thinking about reinstating benzos and adding Memantine, I can't tell you whether that would help you or not. I've had the ear pressure, but not the tinnitus. But I asume it's a problem with excess glutumate (aren't pretty much all w/d symptoms due to glutumate excitotoxicity?), maybe Memantine would work as a standalone. There are threads/posts from people who have had Ketamine infusions, some succcessful, others not - Memantine works like Ketamine, in that it blocks the NMDA receptors, acting as a glutumate antagonist. Problem is there are very few studies, research is limited. So you would be taking a shot in the dark, and it may do nothing for you, just like Ketamine hasn't helped many.

 

On the other hand, it is relatively safe, does not cause dependency, but theses initial side effects I'm having have hit me hard. So the downside is that it is making me feel miserable, mostly due to the back and stomach pain and problems eating. Much of what is out there is anecdotal, some Neuro and Psych docs have used it off-label to assist with benzo w/d, I wish they would share more of their experience with how their patients did. My Psych provider was able to find and access a few small studies, all were very promising. My Endo says the theory behind how it works and what happens during benzo w/d indicate that it would be benficial. Obviously, much more research needs to be done, and there needs to be those willing to do it. I'm basically a guinea pig or lab rat, even I don't know if this will work. And neither do my medical providers.

 

I can't advise you on how much to take, how long it would take to work. I started at 2.5 mg (half a 5 mg pill), and as I get futher along in my taper, the dose may need upping. With Alzheimers patients, they start low dose (5 mg) and then gradually increase it. And you may have entirely different side effects than I am having. You'd have to talk to your doctor(s) about this, Neurologists seem to have the most knowledge, and they have used it for Parkinson's and ALS in addition to benzo w/d. There is even a small study done on children with Autism, with the aim to do larger studies. Being autistic, that captured my attention. The study authors wondered if glutamate played a role in certain autistic behaviors. Glutamate is, afterall, an excitatory substance, it counteracts GABA with is the relaxing, calming one. Without GABA, we know glutumate goes awry.

 

Memantine may help or hurt you, just like Ketamine. Read up on the Buddies who went the Ketamine route. Yes, you could reinstate and add Memantine, but there are risks with reinstating when you've been off so long. Some had great succcess, others were left with regrets. I wasn't off very long before reinstating. I wish I had something more positive to offer, but I am too early in this journey to know yet it's effect on me. I plan on starting a blog of my experience after the holidays, follow my journey and see my progress as I go.

I tried memantine for a few days only at the start of my setback. Back then I still didn't have much withdrawal symptoms, so it was pure memantine, and I didn't like the way it felt (anticholinergic side-effects were horrible, and I didn't like feeling dissociated). It's almost worse than withdrawal symptoms themselves, though back then I didn't yet have any (diazepam has a long half-life). I tried xenon therapy once. Xenon is similar to ketamine, only safer. It's a great antidepressant, I was all giddy, and energized, clear-headed and laughing after it, hyperacusis was gone for a day, and apparently it has permanently ended my OCD. The thing is I could've easily reinstated back when I still didn't have symptoms. Probably at a very low dose too, e.g. 2 mg diazepam / day. I could've easily avoided all this. Now I'm too afraid of making it worse, so I'm keeping reistatement as an option only in case of extreme necessity.

 

I tried memantine for a few days only at the start of my setback. Back then I still didn't have much withdrawal symptoms, so it was pure memantine, and I didn't like the way it felt (anticholinergic side-effects were horrible, and I didn't like feeling dissociated). It's almost worse than withdrawal symptoms themselves, though back then I didn't yet have any (diazepam has a long half-life). I tried xenon therapy once. Xenon is similar to ketamine, only safer. It's a great antidepressant, I was all giddy, and energized, clear-headed and laughing after it, hyperacusis was gone for a day, and apparently it has permanently ended my OCD. The thing is I could've easily reinstated back when I still didn't have symptoms. Probably at a very low dose too, e.g. 2 mg diazepam / day. I could've easily avoided all this. Now I'm too afraid of making it worse, so I'm keeping reistatement as an option only in case of extreme necessity.

 

Well, like I said, side effects are different for everyone. I did not (and still don't) have any anticholinergic side-effects, and no dissociated feelings (though theses are on that long list of possible side effects). What dose were you taking, smaller seems to be better. It's too bad you didn't hang in there, because one of the studies showed people starting Memantine on Day 4 after stopping their benzo, and continuing it until day 21, avoided acute w/d completely. Some continued to take it to help with some post acute issues. I wish you could have hung in there for at least two weeks and waited to see how the Memantine was affecting you then.

 

As miserable as the past two weeks have been, I plan on hanging in there and giving it a chance. Today is Day 13, and I'm actually finding I can tolerate eating better, stomach distress was not as bad as a week ago. Back pain rarely happens, I feel like my body is starting to adjust to it. It certainly isn't the Holy Grail of benzo w/d (Netazepide was for my PPI dependency), though I hoped for as few side effects as possible. Just wished I didn't get the ones I got. But if it ultimately spares me from the worst of benzo w/d hell, it will have been worth it.

 

Can you try the Xenon therapy again, since you had such positive results? Is that an option for you?

 

If going back on the benzo ends up being your last resort, a Buddy recently posted that they reinstated after a long period being off, and reported great success with tapering again.  They had no regrets regarding their decision. Problem is, we just don't know if what works for one person will work for someone else. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, hopefully time will be the ultimate healer and you won't have to decide reinstating a benzo. Let's hope that happens for you.

Well, like I said, side effects are different for everyone. I did not (and still don't) have any anticholinergic side-effects, and no dissociated feelings (though theses are on that long list of possible side effects). What dose were you taking, smaller seems to be better. It's too bad you didn't hang in there, because one of the studies showed people starting Memantine on Day 4 after stopping their benzo, and continuing it until day 21, avoided acute w/d completely. Some continued to take it to help with some post acute issues. I wish you could have hung in there for at least two weeks and waited to see how the Memantine was affecting you then.

 

As miserable as the past two weeks have been, I plan on hanging in there and giving it a chance. Today is Day 13, and I'm actually finding I can tolerate eating better, stomach distress was not as bad as a week ago. Back pain rarely happens, I feel like my body is starting to adjust to it. It certainly isn't the Holy Grail of benzo w/d (Netazepide was for my PPI dependency), though I hoped for as few side effects as possible. Just wished I didn't get the ones I got. But if it ultimately spares me from the worst of benzo w/d hell, it will have been worth it.

 

Can you try the Xenon therapy again, since you had such positive results? Is that an option for you?

 

If going back on the benzo ends up being your last resort, a Buddy recently posted that they reinstated after a long period being off, and reported great success with tapering again. They had no regrets regarding their decision. Problem is, we just don't know if what works for one person will work for someone else. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, hopefully time will be the ultimate healer and you won't have to decide reinstating a benzo. Let's hope that happens for you.

When I decided to proceed with cold-turkey I didn't think it was going to be this bad. I thought "0K, I'm going to have a bad really rebound for a month and then back to baseline". After all it's not like I was using 20 mg per day for ten years. Otherwise, obviously I would've stabilized at the low dose, and then tapered at a later date. But nope! I have angered the glutamate demon. I don't really mind trudging through all this, if it all goes away eventualy. What I don't want is to have e.g. tinnitus/hyperacusis for life and I've heard that untreated tinnitus can become permanent. I don't think memantine is the silver bullet for benzo withdrawal, because you'd need something around 30 mg / day to be able to cold turkey with no withdrawals. I took 2.5 mg for two days then 5 mg, and then I stopped. The closest thing to a silver bullet for benzos is I think being put under ketamine-induced full-anesthesia and then getting the benzos flumazeniled out of your system.

 

Xenon is a bit too expensive for me at the moment.

 

Yeah, I know multiple stories of people not getting better for a few years and then reinstating and tapering and being fine. Ashton was against that because her model of withdrawal was GABA_A receptor downregulation and nothing else (so, according to her, if you're not getting better it's because your GABA_A receptors are still downregulated so it's counterintuitive to reinstate). But, it appears that glutamatergic system plays an even larger role in withdrawal than GABA_A receptors and GABA_A agonists may actually be required to normalize neurotransmission.

I don't think memantine is the silver bullet for benzo withdrawal, because you'd need something around 30 mg / day to be able to cold turkey with no withdrawals. I took 2.5 mg for two days then 5 mg, and then I stopped. The closest thing to a silver bullet for benzos is I think being put under ketamine-induced full-anesthesia and then getting the benzos flumazeniled out of your system.

 

 

I wouldn't c/t then go on 30 mg Memantine, all that Memantine at once would increase side effects exponentially. Which is why it gradually increased in Alzheimers starting with 5 mg doses. It works best with a taper, or immediately following a taper, in much lower doses that used in Alzheimers. So yes, not a silver bullet, but definitely a useful tool to explore, though research is scant. If my Endo, who is pretty knowlegeable for an Endo (She will step outside the box of her expertise if needed), didn't support doing this, I wouldn't have chosen to try. It won't do for my benzo dependency what Netazepide did for my PPI dependency (which ended it in 44 days painlessly).

 

 

Xenon is a bit too expensive for me at the moment.

 

 

Understood. I'm not familiar with Xenon.

 

 

Yeah, I know multiple stories of people not getting better for a few years and then reinstating and tapering and being fine. Ashton was against that because her model of withdrawal was GABA_A receptor downregulation and nothing else (so, according to her, if you're not getting better it's because your GABA_A receptors are still downregulated so it's counterintuitive to reinstate). But, it appears that glutamatergic system plays an even larger role in withdrawal than GABA_A receptors and GABA_A agonists may actually be required to normalize neurotransmission.

 

 

Ashton was a pioneer, but she has left this world and hopefully others will step in and continue researching this. I do know from my research that glutamate receptor atagonists can help with the uncoupling of the GABA receptors. That finding alone is what led me to explore Memantine more. Just wish it didn't have such a long list of possible (and uncomfortable) side effects. With the new Black Box warnings in the US, I'm hoping more research will be devoted to benzo w/d treatments.

 

Again, I hope your situation will resolve itself with time.

 

Oh Pacenik..you've been such a great help to so many on here. I hate to see you suffering with regret and of course the regular symptoms. We all grieve our losses...and its hard.

 

When you are feeling more in control (and I mean "when" bc it will happen...)is there any reason you can't return to school? Yes you may have lost a semester and the money put into paying for school - but if you were about to present a thesis - that means you were close to finishing!

Its hard to be forward thinking when we are hurting...but when you can, try to see what could be.

 

May I ask what your thesis was on?

 

I may eventually have to "refresh" with some courses to re-establish my career or maybe channel my energies down a different path. Its a bitter pill to swallow if I think of where I should be right now...but I have to think of what is still possible.

 

Also you've done some pretty interesting research on here in the midst of your journey. You've mentioned how maybe the Ashton Manual could use some revision..you could compile the info you've found and make a benzo guide based on science/research papers..

 

I just want you to "see" what is still possible and all you have to offer. The suffering you are feeling now will not last forever even though it feels like it.

Pace,

It’ll go away. It took me 3 years to get relief but now I’m so glad I didn’t reinstate

Oh Pacenik..you've been such a great help to so many on here. I hate to see you suffering with regret and of course the regular symptoms. We all grieve our losses...and its hard.

 

When you are feeling more in control (and I mean "when" bc it will happen...)is there any reason you can't return to school? Yes you may have lost a semester and the money put into paying for school - but if you were about to present a thesis - that means you were close to finishing!

Its hard to be forward thinking when we are hurting...but when you can, try to see what could be.

 

May I ask what your thesis was on?

 

I may eventually have to "refresh" with some courses to re-establish my career or maybe channel my energies down a different path. Its a bitter pill to swallow if I think of where I should be right now...but I have to think of what is still possible.

 

Also you've done some pretty interesting research on here in the midst of your journey. You've mentioned how maybe the Ashton Manual could use some revision..you could compile the info you've found and make a benzo guide based on science/research papers..

 

I just want you to "see" what is still possible and all you have to offer. The suffering you are feeling now will not last forever even though it feels like it.

Regret, is strange yeah. It's hard to me because I could've so easily avoided all this. On the other hand, while it's hard right now, when it all goes away I think I'll be very glad for the experience. The intense suffering has really changed my outlook on life. I realized amidst this suffering that my whole up until now life was wasted on feelings of inadequacy, shame, guilt, and stressing about stuff, never enjoying myself. I think I've suffered from chronic obligationitis, always thinking about fulfilling the expectations and needs of others, perpetually afraid of doing anything wrong. Spent my life obsessing about hogwash. Bah.

 

 

Of course! They are not allergic to money.

The area of my thesis is digital control in power electronics.

 

 

These days when many are not so fortunate my skillset isn't obsolete. It's not the way I was raised, but I would've probably done much better for myself had I spent less time in school and more time on my hobbies. My elementary school hobbies turned into multibillion-dollar industries as I spent my time running after degrees. Oh well.

 

 

I don't think there's much to add instructions-wise to the Ashton Manual (other than what I always say, people in/post-withdrawal should avoid alcohol, benzo sedation, and starting antidepressants, all of which she said was fine, but is a big gamble). What I've found out is more the nitty-gritty of withdrawal process. If it were as simple as GABA_A receptor downregulation everyone would heal pretty quickly (it probably is the problem in some cases, like those who were on benzos for decades and are in tolerance withdrawal).

 

 

 

Pace,

It’ll go away. It took me 3 years to get relief but now I’m so glad I didn’t reinstate

Thanks! Extreme cases of cold-turkey like you and Pamster are providing me with hope that 100% healing is possible. But this nasty feeling in my ears... ugh... it's like having an open sore wound inside your head. What I want to avoid, is something I've seen happen on the occasion, people going through horrible withdrawals and end up reinstating anyway after all that just to get rid of ear symptoms.

"obligationitis" - oh my word - that made me laugh...its witty but true - been there done that.

 

You've got huge potential. I mean it.

Well since I've reinstated, and waiting to get stabilized, I had a bad experience yesterday. But now I'm having the inner ear pressure, zappy feelings around my head, and feelings of gloom and doom panic. I think something I ate may have been responsible. Was feeling pretty good Sunday, but yesterday this just hit me out of nowhere.

 

I had an in office Drs appt this morning, same practice as my Psych provider. I talked with PCP about this. Whole time my ears burned and I felt so out of it. She gave me some advice regarding my sleep issues. I'm going to lie down, because that relieves the ear problems. My theory is that I am calmer and more relaxed, and that's why this helps. Feels like a gnat in my left ear and I can't get it to leave.

 

Hope you are feeling better pacenik.

 

Well since I've reinstated, and waiting to get stabilized, I had a bad experience yesterday. But now I'm having the inner ear pressure, zappy feelings around my head, and feelings of gloom and doom panic. I think something I ate may have been responsible. Was feeling pretty good Sunday, but yesterday this just hit me out of nowhere.

 

I had an in office Drs appt this morning, same practice as my Psych provider. I talked with PCP about this. Whole time my ears burned and I felt so out of it. She gave me some advice regarding my sleep issues. I'm going to lie down, because that relieves the ear problems. My theory is that I am calmer and more relaxed, and that's why this helps. Feels like a gnat in my left ear and I can't get it to leave.

 

Hope you are feeling better pacenik.

Oh boy, sorry to hear you aren't stable yet. Do you think updosing would help, or do you think holding long enough will be fine?

 

Hm, nothing I do has any effect on my ears. Apparenly acamprosate can work to relieve ear symptoms, but I didn't try it. Yeah, it's really uncomfortable, like having an open woundin your head.

 

I'm in a kind of continuum right now. Don't really notice any wave-window pattern.

 

Oh boy, sorry to hear you aren't stable yet. Do you think updosing would help, or do you think holding long enough will be fine?

 

Hm, nothing I do has any effect on my ears. Apparenly acamprosate can work to relieve ear symptoms, but I didn't try it. Yeah, it's really uncomfortable, like having an open woundin your head.

 

I'm in a kind of continuum right now. Don't really notice any wave-window pattern.

 

I don't know if I should updose, all I have is K, because the V is prescribed for exactly 1 month, use it and I run short. I posted in the Valium support thread, but no replies yet. I hate having to use the K.

I don't know if I should updose, all I have is K, because the V is prescribed for exactly 1 month, use it and I run short. I posted in the Valium support thread, but no replies yet. I hate having to use the K.

Three weeks into my amitriptyline setback, I took 5 mg diazepam / night for two days in a row and was instantly stable, I was asymptomatic for about a week. That's why I now feel supremely stupid for not restarting the taper. If you updose you'll probably stabilize faster, but you'll also have more to taper off later. You could also ask the question on the long hold thread. I know that stabilization upon reinstatement sometimes takes months. In fact I've seen some people advising six-months hold after reinstatement even if you stabilize right away, just to calm down destabilization from previous withdrawal.

 

Three weeks into my amitriptyline setback, I took 5 mg diazepam / night for two days in a row and was instantly stable, I was asymptomatic for about a week. That's why I now feel supremely stupid for not restarting the taper. If you updose you'll probably stabilize faster, but you'll also have more to taper off later. You could also ask the question on the long hold thread. I know that stabilization upon reinstatement sometimes takes months. In fact I've seen some people advising six-months hold after reinstatement even if you stabilize right away, just to calm down destabilization from previous withdrawal.

 

I used a low dose of the K twice this week, but am starting to feel a bit bettter (K has worn off and exited my system). The ear pressure comes now and then, but it doesn't last long. Maybe a few minutes. I'm going to stay where I am on V and hold longer, which someone in the Long Hold group suggested I might have to do, and it might be for while. I truly do not want to updose completely, then have to w/d from more, and it doesn't appear the two rescue doses of K messsed me up. I really hate K  so that was only out of desperation. I'm just happy symptoms are transient now and I'm feeling somewhat more stable.

I used a low dose of the K twice this week, but am starting to feel a bit bettter (K has worn off and exited my system). The ear pressure comes now and then, but it doesn't last long. Maybe a few minutes. I'm going to stay where I am on V and hold longer, which someone in the Long Hold group suggested I might have to do, and it might be for while. I truly do not want to updose completely, then have to w/d from more, and it doesn't appear the two rescue doses of K messsed me up. I really hate K  so that was only out of desperation. I'm just happy symptoms are transient now and I'm feeling somewhat more stable.

Just don't make a habit out of it. As you can see on my example rescue doses are very dangerous. Sure, I would've probably had no problem if it weren't such high doses, and would've probably been asymptomatic had I tapered off, but  significant enough rescue dose to have an effect can set you significantly back.

Just don't make a habit out of it. As you can see on my example rescue doses are very dangerous. Sure, I would've probably had no problem if it weren't such high doses, and would've probably been asymptomatic had I tapered off, but  significant enough rescue dose to have an effect can set you significantly back.

 

 

I'm aware of the dangers of rescue doses, I took the smallest dose of K that gave me some (but by no means complete) relief. The one thing I didn't want to do was set myself back, just as I don't want to updose and end up prolonging the tapering process. I did some searching and found a few who did one or two small rescue doses, and some panicked that they messsed their processs up. Most replied and said they likely didn't, but not start doing this frequently. Or you'll regret it very much. Very...very...much. Once you start with one, and then you do another, and another, and another and another; have to learn to cope without heading down that dangerous trail. That was the gist of the replies given to others.

 

Thanks for your feedback. Hope you are having a better day today. I definitely am. I'm managing.

Apparenly what I have is tonic tensor tympani syndrome and needs to be treated ASAP (either with gabapentin or by reinstating), otherwise it'll end up being permanent. I cannot express hard enough how much I regret not restarting the taper after those rescue doses. Everyone beware, even though Ashton says it's fine to take one-off benzo for anesthesia or something, it might end up badly.

 

So I have been experiencing extreme fluctuations in my tinnitus and hyperacusis(sensitive hearing).  This includes ear pressure and some ear pain.  Would y'all consider these windows and waves?  I kind of didn't believe windows and waves applied to the auditory issues from my experience in research but I'm kind of hopeful thats what it is. I've had months at times where it's very manageable and then out of nowhere it acts up.  At times it feels like it goes into waves because of exposure to steady Noise even when it's not particularly loud.  Just wondering if anybody experiences this.  At its worst my tinnitus becomes multi tonal, a hiss and a ring.  Also sometimes a generator type sound.  And the hyperacusis when it's at it's worst...well life just sucks.  Any feedback would be sweet.

 

Thanks.

 

You have  Tonic Tensor Tympani Syndrome    http://hearinglosshelp.com/blog/do-i-have-tonic-tensor-tympani-syndrome-ttts/

They can cut the tensor muscle in the ear canal but sounds will never be as crisp ever again and the world will seem muffled.  You may need a small amount of benzo to tame it down and then taper again. 

 

I use occasional gabapentin 600-900 MG no more than 2 times a week if that happens to me. 

You probably tapered too fast.  Sometimes this can take 2 or 3 years of micro tapering.

 

The problem with letting your  Tensor Tympan keep moving is that the brain can rewire itself and its permanent.  What ever it takes to make it stop, that's key.

 

Hugs Lisa

Apparenly what I have is tonic tensor tympani syndrome and needs to be treated ASAP (either with gabapentin or by reinstating), otherwise it'll end up being permanent. I cannot express hard enough how much I regret not restarting the taper after those rescue doses. Everyone beware, even though Ashton says it's fine to take one-off benzo for anesthesia or something, it might end up badly.

 

So I have been experiencing extreme fluctuations in my tinnitus and hyperacusis(sensitive hearing).  This includes ear pressure and some ear pain.  Would y'all consider these windows and waves?  I kind of didn't believe windows and waves applied to the auditory issues from my experience in research but I'm kind of hopeful thats what it is. I've had months at times where it's very manageable and then out of nowhere it acts up.  At times it feels like it goes into waves because of exposure to steady Noise even when it's not particularly loud.  Just wondering if anybody experiences this.  At its worst my tinnitus becomes multi tonal, a hiss and a ring.  Also sometimes a generator type sound.  And the hyperacusis when it's at it's worst...well life just sucks.  Any feedback would be sweet.

 

Thanks.

 

You have  Tonic Tensor Tympani Syndrome    http://hearinglosshelp.com/blog/do-i-have-tonic-tensor-tympani-syndrome-ttts/

They can cut the tensor muscle in the ear canal but sounds will never be as crisp ever again and the world will seem muffled.  You may need a small amount of benzo to tame it down and then taper again. 

 

I use occasional gabapentin 600-900 MG no more than 2 times a week if that happens to me. 

You probably tapered too fast.  Sometimes this can take 2 or 3 years of micro tapering.

 

The problem with letting your  Tensor Tympan keep moving is that the brain can rewire itself and its permanent.  What ever it takes to make it stop, that's key.

 

Hugs Lisa

 

Are you really going to listen to a random stranger who doesn’t even know you?  Their story is not yours, please get checked by a doctor if you haven’t already.

Are you really going to listen to a random stranger who doesn’t even know you?  Their story is not yours, please get checked by a doctor if you haven’t already.

Doctors are worse than useless. I've already went to all of them back when this mess started (neurologist, two psychiatrists, otorhynolaryngologist, GP, and even went to anesthesiologist). Listening to them got me in this mess in the first place. I spent a ton of money for plain wrong advice "It can't be from benzos, they're out of your system by now" or just useless "You're paying to much attention to your ailments, just ignore them", and got prescriptions for bunch of ultra-nasty drugs (risperidone, trazodone, sertraline!, corticosteroids!!, zopiclone!!!) that of course I hadn't taken. Had I simply listened to my instincts and restarted the taper instead of going to see physicians, by now I would've been benzo-free and in a much better place symptoms-wise (I was asymptomatic at a low-dose diazepam, it shouldn't have taken too long to taper off, and even if it proved harder than previous times, it wouldn't be as messy as this, and this is so awfully, awfully messy). But, freaking out and overthinking everything has always been my flaw (and in this case my impatience to be drug-free). And me thinking physicians actually know something has been tantamount to suicide. I hoped to get official diagnosis and therapy from otorhynolaryngologist, but he didn't even listen to me (my general feeling is that none of them did). He thought I was having sinus issues and gave me nasal corticosteroids. It's a great crime that we're forced to rely on strangers on the Internet and on self-diagnosis to treat iatrogenesis.

Are you really going to listen to a random stranger who doesn’t even know you?  Their story is not yours, please get checked by a doctor if you haven’t already.

Doctors are worse than useless. I've already went to all of them back when this mess started (neurologist, two psychiatrists, otorhynolaryngologist, GP, and even went to anesthesiologist). Listening to them got me in this mess in the first place. I spent a ton of money for plain wrong advice "It can't be from benzos, they're out of your system by now" or just useless "You're paying to much attention to your ailments, just ignore them", and got prescriptions for bunch of ultra-nasty drugs (risperidone, trazodone, sertraline!, corticosteroids!!, zopiclone!!!) that of course I hadn't taken. Had I simply listened to my instincts and restarted the taper instead of going to see physicians, by now I would've been benzo-free and in a much better place symptoms-wise (I was asymptomatic at a low-dose diazepam, it shouldn't have taken too long to taper off, and even if it proved harder than previous times, it wouldn't be as messy as this, and this is so awfully, awfully messy). But, freaking out and overthinking everything has always been my flaw (and in this case my impatience to be drug-free). And me thinking physicians actually know something has been tantamount to suicide. I hoped to get official diagnosis and therapy from otorhynolaryngologist, but he didn't even listen to me (my general feeling is that none of them did). He thought I was having sinus issues and gave me nasal corticosteroids. It's a great crime that we're forced to rely on strangers on the Internet and on self-diagnosis to treat iatrogenesis.

 

Yes they are clueless and that’s a shame, but so many on this forum think in a very black and white way; all or nothing thinking. Not all doctors are like this, not all medication is “poison” and no one here can tell you what’s best for you and you really should never take medical advice from anyone here. You’d blame the forum instead of yourself if they advised you to reinstate and not taper off properly. It seems like you’re looking for a conclusive reason to go back on or start Gabapentin and if so that’s fine.  Do what you think is best for you. Not everything is benzo withdrawal. A lot of people on this forum are very sick with other diseases and some were mentally ill well before medication. This would not be the place I would seek medical advice. It can be great for support or encouragement or sharing experiences but people are way too often giving harmful and intrusive advice and it’s crazy how gullible we all are. I understand why, it’s because we’re desperate for relief but my advice is to just be careful.

Yes they are clueless and that’s a shame, but so many on this forum think in a very black and white way; all or nothing thinking. Not all doctors are like this, not all medication is “poison” and no one here can tell you what’s best for you and you really should never take medical advice from anyone here. You’d blame the forum instead of yourself if they advised you to reinstate and not taper off. It seems like you’re looking for a conclusive reason to go back on or start Gabapentin and if so that’s fine.  Do what you think is best for you. Not everything is benzo withdrawal. A lot of people on this forum are very sick with other diseases and some were mentally ill well before medication. This would not be the place I would seek medical advice. It can be great for support or encouragement or sharing experiences but people are way too often giving harmful and intrusive advice and it’s crazy how gullible we all are. I understand why, it’s because we’re desperate for relief but my advice is to just be careful.

Thank you for your concern. I don't want conclusive reason for going on drugs (after all, my impatience to be drug-free is why I ended in this mess), I just don't want to end up with permanent ear problems. In addition to being very uncomfortable on its own it would take away from me a large part of my life (music). I would've loved if I had an actualy medical professional managing my withdrawal, but unfortunately, one that is truly benzo-wise is rarer than anything.

Yes they are clueless and that’s a shame, but so many on this forum think in a very black and white way; all or nothing thinking. Not all doctors are like this, not all medication is “poison” and no one here can tell you what’s best for you and you really should never take medical advice from anyone here. You’d blame the forum instead of yourself if they advised you to reinstate and not taper off. It seems like you’re looking for a conclusive reason to go back on or start Gabapentin and if so that’s fine.  Do what you think is best for you. Not everything is benzo withdrawal. A lot of people on this forum are very sick with other diseases and some were mentally ill well before medication. This would not be the place I would seek medical advice. It can be great for support or encouragement or sharing experiences but people are way too often giving harmful and intrusive advice and it’s crazy how gullible we all are. I understand why, it’s because we’re desperate for relief but my advice is to just be careful.

Thank you for your concern. I don't want conclusive reason for going on drugs (after all, my impatience to be drug-free is why I ended in this mess), I just don't want to end up with permanent ear problems. In addition to being very uncomfortable on its own it would take away from me a large part of my life (music). I would've loved if I had an actualy medical professional managing my withdrawal, but unfortunately, one that is truly benzo-wise is rarer than anything.

Sorry if I came off coldly, I just keep finding myself getting sucked up in the drama of this forum and keep seeing very ugly and dangerous sides to it. I think I relate to what you’re going through and that’s why I gravitate towards it. Even still, the advice I tell you is the advice I tell myself. Like you I was stripped of everything in my life but I have to work to not get sucked into this benzo withdrawal world and keep trying to figure out my health and keep hope alive. You need to let go of the regret of your taper. It’s eating you alive and you mention it in almost every post. I think that’s what ends up making me crazy and responding. I myself am going to take a break from the forum for a while. So much negativity in one place is bad for anyone and that goes for all groups dealing with chronic problems.

Sorry if I came off coldly, I just keep finding myself getting sucked up in the drama of this forum and keep seeing very ugly and dangerous sides to it. I think I relate to what you’re going through and that’s why I gravitate towards it. Even still, the advice I tell you is the advice I tell myself. Like you I was stripped of everything in my life but I have to work to not get sucked into this benzo withdrawal world and keep trying to figure out my health and keep hope alive. You need to let go of the regret of your taper. It’s eating you alive and you mention it in almost every post. I think that’s what ends up making me crazy and responding. I myself am going to take a break from the forum for a while. So much negativity in one place is bad for anyone and that goes for all groups dealing with chronic problems.

You didn't, you actually come off as too caring considering that you're off for much longer than me, and are in a worse place symptoms-wise (which is why your positive outlook on things is confusing to me). We're similar in that we both used benzos for sleep. Well, it's not much of a regret as a shout out to anyone who finds himself in the similar position in the future and is reading this. I don't think I could've chosen differently at the time (considering all the [lack of] information I had and my intense desire to be drug-free). Yes, this forum was really bad for me during "acute."

Sorry if I came off coldly, I just keep finding myself getting sucked up in the drama of this forum and keep seeing very ugly and dangerous sides to it. I think I relate to what you’re going through and that’s why I gravitate towards it. Even still, the advice I tell you is the advice I tell myself. Like you I was stripped of everything in my life but I have to work to not get sucked into this benzo withdrawal world and keep trying to figure out my health and keep hope alive. You need to let go of the regret of your taper. It’s eating you alive and you mention it in almost every post. I think that’s what ends up making me crazy and responding. I myself am going to take a break from the forum for a while. So much negativity in one place is bad for anyone and that goes for all groups dealing with chronic problems.

You didn't, you actually come off as too caring considering that you're off for much longer than me, and are in a worse place symptoms-wise (which is why your positive outlook on things is confusing to me). We're similar in that we both used benzos for sleep. Well, it's not much of a regret as a shout out to anyone who finds himself in the similar position in the future and is reading this. I don't think I could've chosen differently at the time (considering all the [lack of] information I had and my intense desire to be drug-free). Yes, this forum was really bad for me during "acute."

I do care and I think I’m starting to get a little too attached and that’s not healthy for me at least for now. Also maybe not coldly but matter-of-factly. My positive outlook is really the result of the best way to cope. All you can really do is keep riding it out and hope it gets better while ruling out any other health problems in the meantime. You have a choice in how you deal with this, you can drown yourself in self pity and dwell on how horrible it is (which it is) or try to make the best of a terrible situation until things start to change. There are people that get better, that’s a fact. Maybe not everyone gets better but I think the ones that dwell on it and hang out all day here aren’t helping themselves. Other than that the only other option is to go back on the medication and that might be the right choice for some people. A lot of people hate to hear anxiety is the cause of their problems and it makes me angry as well but coming off this drug is a traumatizing experience in itself and we can’t expect to have the same level anxiety as before benzos. I’m not saying that’s the cause of all the symptoms but definitely for some. Also not everything you read here will be credible. The amount of times I see the word kindling and gabaergic or what you can or can’t take or you won’t get better makes me roll my eyes. No ones knows what they’re talking about yet they say everything as scientific fact. Anyway, I hope you start to see some improvements soon, honestly.

Stereo, I hear you!  Thank you for being so direct and speaking an uncomfortable truth. 

 

Pace

Acceptance of symptoms is absolutely one of the most important aspects of recovering from benzo use.  This includes the choices you made in the past.  You chose to take the meds, you chose to stop.  You have regrets.  However, lingering over the past choices is not helping you at all today.  It is obsession.  Recovery is going forward.  Only forward.  It is also not obsessing about the future, especially on a negative future.  Your symptoms will almost def go away.  If they stay, they stay.  But that is very unlikely.  How does imagining the worst help you now?