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Surviving


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How long have you been off now, Hopeful Heart? My sleep didn't really start returning until 24 months and now I try to sleep as much as possible.

 

I was working during those two years as well so it was pretty brutal.

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To tell ya the truth....I'm not sure how we do it?!!

But we DO.

I kept thinking I was going to go for real insane when it was 2 or 3 days zero sleep then on third day I would sleep just a few hours...then repeat the same pattern... week after week after week. UGH. Pure torture.

We do get these micro sleeps we are not aware of, and somehow our bodies and brains are very good at surviving.

It blew my mind just HOW much a human body can endure.

 

I know that isn't a super positive reply, because I don't really have any advice, but I do want to offer you assurance and hope that it is survivable!!! You can make it! And I'm so sorry you are suffering through it!!!

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It is so hard... the zero days. Omg horrendous. But 3-4 hrs I’m ok. I don’t get anymore than that (it’s only happened a handful of times since I hit tolerance I get more than 4)

 

Just read stories from other buddies like southern belle and boom box, Oregon katz , theway2, alohafromhawaii, siggy, mtfan. All buddies that had the most difficult insomnia and are now all healed or much improved sleep wise  (Sorry if I missed anyone)

 

I read their stories and any success stories that mention very bad insomnia (there are a lot) they keep me strong and remind me there is a light at the end of the tunnel, although it sure doesn’t feel like it after zero, 1.5, zero, 2 hour nights.

 

I was like SB thought I would lose my mind. On bad days when I was teetering on the edge of sanity, I would just say to myself, don’t look down. I was so scared if I allowed myself to go to crazy town just for a minute I wouldn’t come back. U have to fight off the bad thought, that u won’t get better that this will never end. Don’t go there.

 

On bad days now I just rest and remind myself it will pass and it always does. I have a few bad nights 0-2, then a few good nights 3-4. I might even be getting more than that of light sleep and just not realise. The micro sleeps are crazy. I was reading my book yesterday and my whole body just shut down for a few seconds. My book dropped onto my chest and woke me back up. My brain just decided it needed to stop for a second so it did! They do happen to keep us going.

 

I agree with SB no idea how we do it, but I’m doing it right now.... I get up, look after my 3 kids, pay my bills do my housework, read, drive (no chance I’ll nod off unfortunately) walk. Some buddies still work (they’re superhuman) like boom box.

 

U can get thru this. Every day just keep going. X

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  • 3 weeks later...

You nailed it by saying "survived," as that is all one can really do until things even out. 

 

Lack of sleep truly sucks and IMO, was the worst possible symptom, but eventually you slowly start to get some decent sleep back.

 

It was very UP and down for me for some time, but like Boomboxboy, , my sleep was pretty good by month 24.

 

That doesn't mean my sleep was terrible and then at month 24 was good.  It was a mix of being horrible from month 3 - 10 and then slowly got better until month 24.

 

Sort of like a "normal" stock market...how it ebs and flows up and down.

 

The best advice I can give is to accept, distract, and know that a lack of sleep won't kill you.  Your body will get all the sleep it needs until things even out.  Microsleep will sustain you.

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Do any of you who have been through it have any advice for the sleep deprivation effects on the body? Like the skin and eyes, I’m struggling with how wretched they feel. It’s such an odd sensation that your eyes can sting and feel so tired yet not a sleepy tired, it’s like my eyelids feel like they are not there. Whereas when you are normally sleepy they get heavy, I never feel that.
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That seems pretty typical.  Every time I got very little or no sleep, it felt like someone punched me in the eyes and cut off my eyelids.

 

It goes away and comes back to "normal" over time.

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