Relapse on High Dose, Seizure Risk?

Hi, I'm new here but I was currently a month into a CT from Ativan and a couple of night ago (Friday night I believe) I was having a lot of emotional distress and took 3 mg of Ativan, but ended up waking up at 3 pm the next day realising I had somehow taken the remaining 16 mg I had. I also took a few Klonopin after waking up (this is terrible I know).

 

I am just curious if I am at risk for kindling/seizure in the upcoming risk from this and if so how high is that risk? Thank you for reading. 

I doubt you're at risk for seizure since you've been benzo free for a month before you took the Ativan and Klonopin but my first thought when I read your post was it would be a good idea if you got rid of the rest of your pills.  I don't feel you need to worry about kindling at this time but if you continue this behavior, the next time it happens kindling could play a role making your recovery much more difficult.

 

You mentioned in your introductory post that you've struggled with alcohol in the past, were you drinking when you took the rest of those pills? 

No I haven't drank in awhile, and I agree with you and I am planning to get rid of the rest of my medication when I can, thanks for the reply.

Hi there- I agree with Pamster. For what it's worth, I have had post-benzo seizures but that was only triggered by high dose (maybe 40mg diaz) dropping to cold turkey, and then the seizures happened pretty much on the third day of cold turkey exactly (although I don't remember a lot as I was a bit delusional at the time). But from what I have read about it, 3 days cold turkey after dropping from high dose (and after years of use) is pretty common timeline for seizure triggers. Once you are out of that time period, you're in the clear as long as you don't relapse.

Hi Ruri

 

How are you now?  I just read this post, so it's been a couple of weeks.

 

I am trying to understand how you managed to take so much Ativan without knowing you were doing it?  Were the pills right beside the bed?  Do you have no memory of doing this? 

 

I hope any leftover benzos pills have been returned to the pharmacy now? 

 

And I hope you are feeling okay.

Hi, I'm doing okay now. I'm not sure how I managed it myself because I had no memory of it, to be honest. I ask myself that question still. I figured it because of how many pills I had left and how many were missing after, and I don't have anymore, so don't worry.

 

I'm still having some withdrawal symptoms but nothing unbearable.

Good you feel okay, Ruri. 

It's nice that you and the people here care though, the support is nice 

If it's any consolation, one of the effects of benzo use is a poor memory, so don't be surprised that you don't remember taking them. The only recollection I have is by searching my diary, and I was amazed to discover I had actually been trying and failing to come off them for years. So it doesn't surprise me that you don't remember. One of the benefits of being almost 6 months free is that I now remember what I did a bit more!

I know that's one of the effects, but it's still weird when you look back on it and you lost a whole day or however long. 

Absolutely. Memory loss can be a bit unnerving whenever it happens. For some reason when I drank a lot, I used to just dismiss the memory loss episodes as an inconsequential side effect of a "good night". Being sober and off benzos makes me realise that all episodes of memory loss, clean or otherwise, are not great!

 

Hope you are doing a bit better now.

Thank you, I am having a lot more better days now but still some not so great ones.

FWIW, I found that my "true" progress is more measurable, once I discounted the first month of cold turkey, but that was because I was coming off Diazepam, which apparently sits around in the body for about 28 days after the final dose anyway. Keep up the good work- it's a major project to come off these drugs, but if you can set yourself a very achievable, small  monthly goal, it makes progress easier to measure. For me, my goal for the first couple of months was literally to be able to be able to go to the grocery store and buy some healthy food to eat for each week. But some people can manage more, others less. Good luck.

The small goal thing really works for me and I've already been doing that for the most part. I just take things day by day and try not to worry about "what-ifs" or stress about the future.

I can completely relate to these memory blanks too. My doctor never understood how I didnt know how much I was taking. My other problem was I'd take some, wake up in the middle of the night and take more, and do it in a state of half sleep so I really didn't know what was going on. Best advice is to just not keep them in your house because if you have a history of doing this - you'll eventually take whatever is there!