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6th Month Update


[Ic...]

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On December 2nd, the day of my little brother's funeral, I turned 6th months benzo free. Fort Bragg held a memorial in honor of him this past week and for two weeks I was dreading having to go. I was scared of what would happen if I broke routine, slept in a different bed, did not have my "safe" foods around me, and I was terrified if I could fly for more than an hour with my illness. BUT guys, I MADE it! The first 2 hr plane ride made me think things were not going to be OK because I got severely nauseous and panicked upon take off, but that only lasted about 10 minutes and then I was fine. Then, there was a layover with another 25 minutes fly and I was still doing pretty well. Slept in a strange bed just fine. The plane ride back had a delay, so I was on the plane for a total of 5 hrs and I was OK! I enjoyed the weekend (as much as I could considering I lost my little brother) and actually ate new foods that did not make me ill. I still kept the foods within reason; I am terrified of tomato sauce, grease, and excess cheese.  I did have a severe case of benzo flu for a couple of hours and on the day of the memorial, my OCD was annoying but became manageable. I do not want to blame benzos for OCD as I have always had that. I feel blah all the time, but my family says that they can see me getting better. My mom and sister have been with me through all of this and they both say that even though I feel like I am destined to live this way forever, they are really surprised by how fast I am healing. When I told my mom, "I just look fine. I had really bad body aches and the flu." She reminded me that there was a time were it was so bad, I couldn't even pretend to be happy. I have written posts on my brother's passing on FB and my sister helped me realize me that even though it was still a struggle to write something so beautiful, I had written something that even she couldn't come up with.

 

Month 7 will be on January 2nd.

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Icy, I'm so very sorry you lost your little brother but I see such promise in your post, thank you for sharing your weekend with us.  I'm hopeful you're nearing the end of your nightmare and happy to know you have such wonderful support from your family.

 

Again, my deepest condolences for your loss. 

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Thank you, Pamster. I honestly think it will at least a year until I am fully healed. But, I know he would want me to keep fighting this. Thank you for you support! Your success story has been very motivating to me.
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Icy, I am so sorry about your loss, losing a loved one is very hard, I am glad that you and your Family have been together during this trying time. I know it feels bittersweet to be congratulated on 6 months off, but you did the work and suffered, you deserve to be congratulated, so Icy from One Warrior to Another Warrior..[glow=red,2,300] :balloon:"CONGRATULATIONS":balloon:[/glow] 💖Peace and Healing. :smitten:😷
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Icy I saw u were online and thought I’d check to see how u are doing to find this. I am so sorry for your loss x sending all my love to you and ur family x

 

But I agree with begood, even though this is a very difficult time u still deserve to be so proud of ur 6 month off anniversary. Especially in this moment, u are incredibly brave. Well done and I hope u continue to heal and do well from here x

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Peppermint please accept my condolences on the passing of your brother. I know that is hard on your family but I'm so proud of you that you showed those symptoms who's boss! Way to go! I love how you kept control even when it was rough. May you continue to heal nicely and accomplish all that you dream of doing again. I'm inspired by your post. Big buddie hugs  :thumbsup:

Congrats on 6 months! I'm right there with you in my 6 month. I've also seen some improvements. We got this! We are warriors!

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Icy: first of all I am sorry about your brother...hugs.

 

I remember when you first came on BB....the way in which you write has changed. I know you are still suffering but there is a "calm" in your writing now.

I am astonished at how you are doing this and working! And I honestly do not think I could handle a plane trip right now - so bless you for what you can do!

 

Encouraged by your successes. Continue to take good care of yourself. :smitten:

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Thank you Trina! I noticed that now I am more forgiving of the situation, so I hope that means healing! Thank you for all your kind words!
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