One Year Off Today!

Hi Everyone,

I have not been on BB in a long time but wanted to come back and say today has been 1 year! It has been a really long and tough year, but I have made a lot of improvements.  I'm still experiencing some withdrawal symptoms and have waves every now and then that still leave me feeling pretty sick.  Sometimes I'm stuck in waves for 2 to 3 weeks, but they are less intense than when I was tapering.  I'm still  experiencing inner vibrations/being startled, benzo flu like symptoms, heart pain, muscle pain, fatigue, visual disturbances, some auditory distortions, tinnitus, pins and needles, muscle twitches (mostly when I sleep), nightmares and waking up feeling like I haven't slept at all.  My biggest complaint is with my memory and cognition. I'm not able to multitask, am sometimes missing chunks of time and have issues processing multiple step directions that are told to me orally.  My ability to recall names and words has definately gotten much better! As well, I get frequent headaches and sensations in my head, kinda like hot electricity.  I continue to deal with some anxiety and depression that this all happened to me, but they have gotten better now that I am further along.  One thing I am positive about it that I wake up every day knowing I no longer have this poison in my body.  I wish I was further along than I am, but am so thankful for everything I have in my life like my friends, my family, my recovering health; EVERYTHING really!! Even though I still have bad days and rough moments, I am so glad to be through the horrible symptoms that left me stuck in bed or on the couch wondering if I would make it through it all.  I am here to say to those suffering it does get better!! One of my strongest pieces of advice is to try your best to stay positive! You WILL get through this!  Even if it takes me longer to heal, I have healed so much already!!! You will too!!! Hang in there Buddies!❤

Great to see your post and read that you’re making progress...that’s how this goes.  Two steps forward and one step back (if we’re lucky!).  I was on the couch 18 months so you’re doing just peachy!

My Dear Blacklablady!!

 

You are my best benzo buddy (and birthday buddy too), and have truly helped me so much!!!

 

Truly saving my life daily, as I always say!

 

I'm so proud of you, you made it 1 year!!!

 

You have come so far and I know you wanted to be farther along than you are, but you are knocking it out of the park!!

 

Healing will come to you, even if it's not at the 1 year mark, it will come!

 

Your positive attitude is so infectious!!

 

You will be able to conquer anything you put your mind to!!

 

Hugs,

WinnieDog

 

 

 

 

Wow, wonderful news! I come onto this board for inspiration and it's so nice to read posts like this. I am still tapering (.15mg clon) but nearly there. I can't wait for these symptoms to ease up.

 

 

Congratulations!!

 

 

Karen

Great to see your post and read that you’re making progress...that’s how this goes.  Two steps forward and one step back (if we’re lucky!).  I was on the couch 18 months so you’re doing just peachy!

Thank you Challis!!! I really have come so far!! I am so thrilled to be alive everyday and appreciate the little things every day.  I always find something positive about each day, even if it is just seeing a chickadee! It can be hard sometimes, but I force myself to acknowledge the things all around me to express how grateful I am to have survived this horrible life experience! ❤

^ This reply gave me goosebumps.  Your positive attitude will take you a long way, my friend. 

My Dear Blacklablady!!

 

You are my best benzo buddy (and birthday buddy too), and have truly helped me so much!!!

 

Truly saving my life daily, as I always say!

 

I'm so proud of you, you made it 1 year!!!

 

You have come so far and I know you wanted to be farther along than you are, but you are knocking it out of the park!!

 

Healing will come to you, even if it's not at the 1 year mark, it will come!

 

Your positive attitude is so infectious!!

 

You will be able to conquer anything you put your mind to!!

 

Hugs,

WinnieDog

 

And you my good friend!!! I am so happy you found me!!! I can not even believe all our similarities, sadly being Benzo injured is one of them!  I know you have a long road and journey ahead, but I will be here for you every step of the way!!! I feel so badly you are suffering so badly right now, but know what kind of lady you are!!! You are a fighter just like me and you will finish your journey in your own time.  I will ALWAYS be cheering you on from the sidelines! I will be there when you fall as well and feel like you can't go on.  I feel like I'm on your journey with you already!!! I know I can't help you physically, but I can be there for you when you are sad and mourning that all this happened to you.  It is still hard for me to believe what happened to me.  Fate brought us together and I know together we will get through this.  I'm further ahead, but know how tough your journey will be.  One day at a time my friend!!! That is all you can do! I believe we were meant to cross paths, and to support one another through these trying times! Love you friend!❤

Wow, wonderful news! I come onto this board for inspiration and it's so nice to read posts like this. I am still tapering (.15mg clon) but nearly there. I can't wait for these symptoms to ease up.

Congratulations!!

 

 

Karen

Karen,

Thank you for your response!! Just keep on plugging away and you too will be on the other side! Know those symptoms WILL get better and that you are facing one of the toughest challenges of your life, and you're getting through it!!! Sending you supportive hugs and cheering for your continued progress on your taper.❤ 

My Dear Blacklablady!!

 

You are my best benzo buddy (and birthday buddy too), and have truly helped me so much!!!

 

Truly saving my life daily, as I always say!

 

I'm so proud of you, you made it 1 year!!!

 

You have come so far and I know you wanted to be farther along than you are, but you are knocking it out of the park!!

 

Healing will come to you, even if it's not at the 1 year mark, it will come!

 

Your positive attitude is so infectious!!

 

You will be able to conquer anything you put your mind to!!

 

Hugs,

WinnieDog

 

And you my good friend!!! I am so happy you found me!!! I can not even believe all our similarities, sadly being Benzo injured is one of them!  I know you have a long road and journey ahead, but I will be here for you every step of the way!!! I feel so badly you are suffering so badly right now, but know what kind of lady you are!!! You are a fighter just like me and you will finish your journey in your own time.  I will ALWAYS be cheering you on from the sidelines! I will be there when you fall as well and feel like you can't go on.  I feel like I'm on your journey with you already!!! I know I can't help you physically, but I can be there for you when you are sad and mourning that all this happened to you.  It is still hard for me to believe what happened to me.  Fate brought us together and I know together we will get through this.  I'm further ahead, but know how tough your journey will be.  One day at a time my friend!!! That is all you can do! I believe we were meant to cross paths, and to support one another through these trying times! Love you friend!❤

 

 

Ok, now I'm bawling my eyes out, this time they are tears of happiness!!

It was fate that brought us together, as I was madly searching through this entire website to find someone locally to help me, somehow all that obsessiveness led me to you, and you so willingly took me under your wing and have sheltered me everyday since.

You are much more eloquent in your words than I can be right now!

 

You always make me believe in myself, especially at the worst part of my day!

 

It is the most unfortunate experience that brought us together, but I will hold onto the day that we can both ski down those hills together!

 

I sure can't wait until this COVID mess is over and we can meet in person!!

You are a beautiful soul, who has instilled the means in me to fight through this!

 

I know that we can both beat this together!

 

Love you right back (through all my tears), my guardian angel!!!

 

I was just thinking about you yesterday, wondering how you were, I'm so glad to hear things are going so well for you.  Its amazing, your list of symptoms is long so I'm sure anyone who doesn't understand how this works would think you're crazy for saying you're doing well.  But for those of us who wait for what seems like forever know that those first signs of healing are pure bliss. 

 

So glad you checked in, I've missed seeing your lovely lab. 

Congratulations!  That is a wonderful milestone to reach.  I have similar issues with cognition from time to time.  I just forgive myself, take a break and try again later.

 

Today I need to write a summary of a project I am working on for management.  I’ve got two sentences.  I’m going to take a walk and then try again when I return.

 

All the best to you!

What a great uplifting post, thank you! Your beautiful doggie must bring you so much comfort, dogs love so unconditionally.

 

You have a wonderful attitude and will help others still in the process see what is possible.

 

pianogirl 

I was just thinking about you yesterday, wondering how you were, I'm so glad to hear things are going so well for you.  Its amazing, your list of symptoms is long so I'm sure anyone who doesn't understand how this works would think you're crazy for saying you're doing well.  But for those of us who wait for what seems like forever know that those first signs of healing are pure bliss. 

 

So glad you checked in, I've missed seeing your lovely lab. 

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Aww, thank you Pamster!!! Yes I still am having some issues but I have come far, mentally and physically!!! I am stronger than I was in both domains.  Yes I get frustrated that I'm still where I'm at, but I am so hopeful about the future, even if I have limitations.  It is so nice to be able to do even the smallest things that were a challenge before! We so take for granted our abilities when we are healthy.  Mostly, my soul and spirit are different.  My perspective! I want to make the most out of life at whatever level of functioning I am at. Thank you for acknowledging this big milestone of mine!❤

Congratulations!  That is a wonderful milestone to reach.  I have similar issues with cognition from time to time.  I just forgive myself, take a break and try again later.

 

Today I need to write a summary of a project I am working on for management.  I’ve got two sentences.  I’m going to take a walk and then try again when I return.

 

All the best to you!

Thank so much RShack! I see you are not far behind me in terms of time off.  Congratulations to you! I know those dang brain issues can be hard at times, and I'm glad you are able to walk away and do something else to give that brain of yours a break.  I do believe we will get better with time, and if I have any limitations, I will learn to adapt to them as best as I can.  I just am happy to have some cognitive issues back, like my word retrieval.  Sometimes I am still really challenged but I know I am way better than I used to be.  I wish you continued healing, friend!❤

What a great uplifting post, thank you! Your beautiful doggie must bring you so much comfort, dogs love so unconditionally.

 

You have a wonderful attitude and will help others still in the process see what is possible.

 

pianogirl 

Piano girl,

I will never forget your name as you were the first person who welcomed me on Benzobuddies.  I was so sick, beyond scared and desperate to know how I was going to get out of this mess called Benzo Withdrawl.  I think back and am so thankful I found this forum. Thankful to everyone on here who gave words of encouragement when I felt I would not make it, answered my questions, calmed me when I needed it ,really all of you!!! It does take a village and BB is a village when you feel so lost and alone.  My baby girl Kylie (black lab) has been my nurse and therapist through all of this.  She continues to provide me with the snuggles of support I need when I do have down moments. She was a huge part in my recovery, as well as my loving husband.  But it is the Buddies who really understand because of  shared experience. Thank you to all you moderators out there for using your time to help others and keep this valuable and life saving site going!❤

Congrats BLL the best is yet to come!! Bless you

 

kanoba

Thank you Kanoba! I see you are at 13 months of healing! Congratulations to you as well.  I hope you are seeing some areas where progress has been made in your condition?  I'm sending wishes for continued healing your way!! ❤

love your positivity & acceptance of the symptoms you still presently have. you inspire those of us that are behind you.

So happy for u xx all the best for continued healing xx

Congrats Blacklablady! You are winning : )

love your positivity & acceptance of the symptoms you still presently have. you inspire those of us that are behind you.

 

Thank you, Littlewing!!! I wish you nothing but continued healing as you progress through your journey!❤

So happy for u xx all the best for continued healing xx

 

Shayna, thank you for your kind words!!! I see you have already conquered the Zopiclone!!! Congratulations on doing so.  I wish you all the best as you continue with your Valium taper.  You will get there!!! ❤

Congrats Blacklablady! You are winning : )

 

Thank you Tom!!! I see you have just recently jumped.  Congratulations on making it through one of the hardest things you will encounter in life!!!! Hang in there, friend!!! Wishing you continued success post taper.❤

So happy for u xx all the best for continued healing xx

 

Shayna, thank you for your kind words!!! I see you have already conquered the Zopiclone!!! Congratulations on doing so.  I wish you all the best as you continue with your Valium taper.  You will get there!!! ❤

 

Thanku so much xx 😘  yep 1 down ... 👍🏼

wow, all the love and support from a group of Benzo Buddies....just awesome. To know that others are thinking of "you" and pulling for you...the love I see in these posts gets to me...this is just so coooooollllll.....

 

every one us knows the pain and suffering of coming through the Benzo w/d and then add the loneliness of the corona on top of that makes this a difficult time for everyone....

 

Keep up the love, God knows we all need it!

J