[Jd...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Hey everyone. I’m zack . Was a benzo user from April 2009 until December 2019. I had no idea what anxiety even was until I had my first panic attack my senior year of high school. After that Incident a few more followed. Managed for years an then another bad panic attack hit . That’s when I was put on Ativan . No idea what it was, thought it was safe to take since the doctor prescribed me it . By the time I did research on it I was years into taking it and to scared to get off. Fast forward to December of last year, I was doing a daily cocktail of my prescribed benzo, unprescribed opioid, smoking marijuana and drinking an end the night w my prescribed sleeping pill. I don’t know what happend but they all caught up to me and i knew I needed help. Went to rehab and got off everything all at once. First month was mainly depressed and numb. Second month horrible insomnia. Barely slept that whole month . The anxiety due to not sleeping was there as well. Third month finally got my sleep back but still had some anxiety and depression. A bit better month four. Month five my dad passed away. It was really hard on my family but I noticed that I was the one in my family that was staying strong and being there for the others. That’s when I noticed that I was getting back to my old self. If this happens during my using days I would’ve been a complete wreck. All the years being on benzos I felt like I never had control over my emotions. I was always in a depressed state of mind . Since about may I haven’t had that feeling anymore . So here I am now in December . One year to the day that I was took off my benzos and was a complete mess. I feel like the old me is back before benzos. I’m actually looking forward to xmas this year, as the previous three were filled with depression. I’m still not 100% cured . I get the occasional anxious moments. But I feel nothing l8ke I did for the past 10 years. I just wanted to put something out there for the people that are browsing on this site and looking for positive stories from people who have gone through the benzo wd. I know I was one of them . There would be times I’d see a horror story of someone’s wd and I’d scare me an make me feel hopeless. But when I would read a positive one it would give me the confidence to know that it will get better . And it does. You will have to go through some bad periods. These type of medications are tough to break . We all know this . Don’t give up . I’m here if anyone needs someone to talk to . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Pa...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Thank you for writing your success story, I needed them when I was suffering, they're so important as a source of hope. I'm happy to hear you've found the you that was buried for so long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ch...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Powerful inspirational post of the day, Jdog. Keep on keeping on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Br...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Hey everyone. I’m zack . Was a benzo user from April 2009 until December 2019. I had no idea what anxiety even was until I had my first panic attack my senior year of high school. After that Incident a few more followed. Managed for years an then another bad panic attack hit . That’s when I was put on Ativan . No idea what it was, thought it was safe to take since the doctor prescribed me it . By the time I did research on it I was years into taking it and to scared to get off. Fast forward to December of last year, I was doing a daily cocktail of my prescribed benzo, unprescribed opioid, smoking marijuana and drinking an end the night w my prescribed sleeping pill. I don’t know what happend but they all caught up to me and i knew I needed help. Went to rehab and got off everything all at once. First month was mainly depressed and numb. Second month horrible insomnia. Barely slept that whole month . The anxiety due to not sleeping was there as well. Third month finally got my sleep back but still had some anxiety and depression. A bit better month four. Month five my dad passed away. It was really hard on my family but I noticed that I was the one in my family that was staying strong and being there for the others. That’s when I noticed that I was getting back to my old self. If this happens during my using days I would’ve been a complete wreck. All the years being on benzos I felt like I never had control over my emotions. I was always in a depressed state of mind . Since about may I haven’t had that feeling anymore . So here I am now in December . One year to the day that I was took off my benzos and was a complete mess. I feel like the old me is back before benzos. I’m actually looking forward to xmas this year, as the previous three were filled with depression. I’m still not 100% cured . I get the occasional anxious moments. But I feel nothing l8ke I did for the past 10 years. I just wanted to put something out there for the people that are browsing on this site and looking for positive stories from people who have gone through the benzo wd. I know I was one of them . There would be times I’d see a horror story of someone’s wd and I’d scare me an make me feel hopeless. But when I would read a positive one it would give me the confidence to know that it will get better . And it does. You will have to go through some bad periods. These type of medications are tough to break . We all know this . Don’t give up . I’m here if anyone needs someone to talk to . I love reading your story, Jdog! Thank you so much for sharing! I had a very rough couple of days so I was gobbling up success stories last night to help get me through. Appreciate you giving us all hope. Wishing you continued healing! Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ma...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Thank you Zack! I am so pleased you posted of your success. Your story will bring hope and give encouragement to members who are struggling. I hope life keeps on getting better for you. Magrita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pr...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Congrats Jdog!!! Thanks for your success story and many blessings to you. PG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[La...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Yes, congratulations to you, and thank you for sharing such a wonderful story! I wish you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sh...] Posted December 10, 2020 Share Posted December 10, 2020 Thanku so much for sticking around jdog to help others still down in the trenches. I wish you so much health and happiness for the future. I am very sorry for your loss x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Gi...] Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 Thank you for posting your success story. It gives the rest of us hope. G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Jd...] Posted December 11, 2020 Author Share Posted December 11, 2020 Thanks everyone for the replies. I’m here to talk if anyone is struggling and needs to vent . Hope everyone is doing ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Mi...] Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 Thank you Zack for posting your story! You will help so many with your experience. Congratulations! So happy for you! Thanks you for the motivating words to help get us through this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[He...] Posted December 13, 2020 Share Posted December 13, 2020 Hi Jdog Your success story is awesome! I am happy that you are feeling well and stronger than ever. I agree, the things that used to be intolerable somehow seem smaller now. And even the big things that are indeed painful are manageable. I think once you go through benzo withdrawals and out the other side, life is so much sweeter than it ever was. Happy season to you. Thanks for your inspiration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Gr...] Posted December 14, 2020 Share Posted December 14, 2020 Glad you are feeling better. Thanks for the great post. I am also coming up on that one year mark in February. Lots of improvement, though I still have quite a ways to go. I look forward to twelve months off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Br...] Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 Thanks everyone for the replies. I’m here to talk if anyone is struggling and needs to vent . Hope everyone is doing ok By any chance, have you had to deal with any more panic attacks since you've been off? How about during withdrawal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Jd...] Posted December 18, 2020 Author Share Posted December 18, 2020 Sorry for the late reply. Since I’ve been off I haven’t had any panic attacks. I’ll have a little anxiety here and there but it’s pretty manageable . Breathing techniques have helped a lot w calming myself down if I’m feeling the anxiety coming on. While I was in withdrawal, my anxiety was at high alert for about a month (mostly due to lack of sleep) but it never got to a point to where it would bring on a panic attack. I’ve actually surprised myself at how well I’ve been able to manage it compared to all the years I felt like I had zero control an would just depend on my benzo to do all the work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Br...] Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Sorry for the late reply. Since I’ve been off I haven’t had any panic attacks. I’ll have a little anxiety here and there but it’s pretty manageable . Breathing techniques have helped a lot w calming myself down if I’m feeling the anxiety coming on. While I was in withdrawal, my anxiety was at high alert for about a month (mostly due to lack of sleep) but it never got to a point to where it would bring on a panic attack. I’ve actually surprised myself at how well I’ve been able to manage it compared to all the years I felt like I had zero control an would just depend on my benzo to do all the work. Wow that's really promising! I never thought I'd be able to live without my meds, but my anxiety has gradually gotten worse over the years (since i've been on). I'm praying most of my anxiety is coming from the drug itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Jd...] Posted December 8, 2021 Author Share Posted December 8, 2021 Damn time Aite does fly. I didn’t even realize I was at my two year mark until a couple days ago. Seems like the longer your off this stuff the less it crosses your mind. But when your in the beginning I know it’s all that is on your mind. I depended on benzos for 11 years to keep any anxiety or depression away and make me as normal as possible, but the whole time I didn’t realize they were what was causing all of my mental struggles. Life has been pretty normal since being off them. You have your episodes of anxiety but I’m sure it’s just normal everyday persons life anxiety and it’s manageable without needing to take a pill. I hope everyone is doing well and just know life does go back to normal but it takes time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[J ...] Posted December 8, 2021 Share Posted December 8, 2021 Outstanding young man. Yes, when in the battle to feel better the taper and the days afterwards the battle is not far from our minds. Thanks for coming back to give all others hope. I am approaching my three year mark in March.... Merry Christmas... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Gu...] Posted December 8, 2021 Share Posted December 8, 2021 Hey guys, Thanks to both of your for posting. Really needed to hear this today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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