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parents of young children and have severe mental anguish


[he...]

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I’m here healing.

 

My children watched me go from fully functional super mum to a frail old lady who cried all day and couldn’t leave the house.

 

I am getting there but it’s taken over 2 years. I am still very unwell but I can do things with them again. Last week I went on a rollercoaster with my daughter. I had a wave for my troubles but it was worth it.

 

They know their mummy isn’t well but she will be again coz we are warriors. Ur day will come. One foot after the other mummy.

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Be kind to urself. This isn’t ur fault. Always remember that. Do not make urself feel more guilty because of what a dr did. U will get better but u need to fight x u can do this
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  • 2 weeks later...

i truly wish i could find a parent as severe as i am. I cant go into details of my sxs without triggering ao i dont know what to say

 

mutliple hospital stays

law enforcement involvement

loss of job

dp/dr

intrusive thoughts and impulses

squeezing head

burning brain

burning spine and nerve

crying

selfishness and not caring for others

twitching muscles

insomnia on "good" days which are still hell but i cant sleep bc im afraid of what the next day will be like

then insomnia on bad days bc holy poop

regret and constsnt thinming about the trauma

feeling mentally ill

feeling like the whole world knows im mentally ill

feeling like i will never be anything again

feelingil sorry for my son for getting me as a mom

angry i let this happen

inability to socialize

agoraphobia

intrusive impulses while driving so i take my sons dog with me

my brain is stuck on "is god telling me he wants me to do xyz"

yeah theres no parent like this one

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I’ve been there snd had most of those sxs. While I never went to hospital I had a bag packed several times. I honestly don’t know how I survived. But I did. And u will too. I am so sorry how hard things are for u right now. Have u got anyone that can help u?
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my husband but things have happened and we will never be the same together. its jist caretaker and sick child scenario not husband and wife. i feel very robbed in many ways and the hysterectomy is a big one. he takes the blame for pushing for it but i was the one who thought i had pmdd. but now im this depressed crazy cow that barelt resembles a woman (huge weight gain and just barely can put the same jammies on) i used to love life and fashion and now i dont know who i am anymore
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Have u been to see an endocrinologist? Maybe a lot of ur issues are caused by hysterectomy? I’ve heard it can really mess some women up. It’s worth a try?

 

U know what stop feeling sorry for ur husband. U r his wife and the mother of his child. He should be helping u. U need someone to care for u as u get better. We put too much guilt on ourselves and now is not a good time to do that.

 

U haven’t been off cymbalta long ur body needs time to recover x

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The problem for me is the mother of my child Isn't all that active with my son. I'm the one who walks him and picks him up from school. Takes him to the park, ect.even though I'm the one working full time.  I wish I had a little more help.  A good mom, but sometimes people think I'm superman when In reality I'm struggling. I'm also the only driver In the family. If I don't do It It doesn't get done. If I had more help I probably would have weaned off already. The bottom line Is I'm stuck with the little blue pill for now.
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Yep it goes both ways! When u are in a relationship u are spose to be a team. When u have a child together u are both spose to take on that responsibility.if u are married there is no room for selfishness. When ur partner is sick u pick up the slack and vice versa. U should never feel guilty for being sick and u certainly shouldn’t feel sorry for them having to care for u. That is the contract u sign when u get married isn’t it? For better or worse?

 

My hubby is disabled from a stroke. He feels sorry for me every day because he feels like he’s holding me back. No way buddy I tell him, we aren’t tapping out yet.

 

I am the main caregiver for my kids, always have been, but when I got really sick my hubby had to step up. He still does some days when I am deep in a wave. We’re both sick, but we take turns when we’re having bad days. Just like we’re spose to.

 

If ur partners aren’t pulling their weight or making u feel bad for being sick, speak up. That’s really unfair and not what u need to heal.

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Yep it goes both ways! When u are in a relationship u are spose to be a team. When u have a child together u are both spose to take on that responsibility.if u are married there is no room for selfishness. When ur partner is sick u pick up the slack and vice versa. U should never feel guilty for being sick and u certainly shouldn’t feel sorry for them having to care for u. That is the contract u sign when u get married isn’t it? For better or worse?

 

My hubby is disabled from a stroke. He feels sorry for me every day because he feels like he’s holding me back. No way buddy I tell him, we aren’t tapping out yet.

 

I am the main caregiver for my kids, always have been, but when I got really sick my hubby had to step up. He still does some days when I am deep in a wave. We’re both sick, but we take turns when we’re having bad days. Just like we’re spose to.

 

If ur partners aren’t pulling their weight or making u feel bad for being sick, speak up. That’s really unfair and not what u need to heal.

  perfectly said
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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Hi Healingheart,

 

I've got a 7 year old and a 9 year old. They were 3 and 5 years old when I first got sick and my youngest doesnt remember me now ever being well. I have been so severe in my withdrawal that I was was literally unable to care for them. Ive had to sell my house and buy a house with my parents - they now live in a flat upstairs to help me as I cant drive them to school, cook for them and basically be the normal Mum I once was.

 

I did a 26 month taper (and that was as bad (if not worse) than being off. I am now 2 years off and still unable to care for them fully and function properly for them. The guilt and sadness is overwhelming.

 

I understand, I really do. Its so very very hard being this sick with youngsters

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The broken heart that never heals. Not sure your symptoms but my greatest guilt is from not researching the heck out of my 8nitial withdrawl symptoms and staying my rear out of the psych ward. Stupid stupid stupid ....now life as I knew it is unrecognizable.
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I wonder how long the intrusive thoughts would have hung around if I had just exhibited some self control and not freaked out and got back on the med bus....it hurts to know I was just in withdrawl and now permanently destroyed. Hurts like hell
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