Anyone else struggle with alcohol and benzos?

Not necessarily at the same time.  I've always battled 2 substances that mess with my gaba receptors. There must be some reason why I battle things that enhance gaba. Anyone else struggle with both?

I have, I drank for many years and stopped in 1991 but started taking Klonopin 9 years later, I knew it wasn't a good idea, enough AA meetings through the years taught me that but I did it anyway.  I initially used them for sleep but as tolerance hit I started taking them during the day, then as the anxiety they created got worse I began taking more and more until I hit the wall and had to stop.

 

I struggle with calling myself an addict, I hate that word but my history with alcohol and my abuse of benzo's I guess proves I am.  The thing is, I didn't take the Klonopin to get high like I did when I drank, I took them to sleep and then to keep the withdrawal symptoms away although I didn't know that's what they were. 

 

What's your drug of choice, is it alcohol or benzo's?  Of course they call alcohol liquid benzo's since chemically they're very similar. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I have also.  Very much same story as Pamster's.  Alcohol rehab at 36. The Xanax quite awhile later.  Like Pamster I knew it was a bad idea but I took 1 and felt so much better..  I think I have an addictive personality.  .  Alcoholism and drug abuse run on both sides of my family.  Oh how I wish I had never taken that first Xanax.    Mary 🙋🏼

Yes I hate the word addict as well.  Very much struggle with that word even at meetings. I started alcohol to "fit in" ( peer pressure at a party when I was 20). I quickly noticed that it helped my anxiety.  Then the alcohol made my anxiety worse on days without it ( didn't know that yet,  that my anxiety would be worse coming off alcohol,  too naive). So I asked the doctor for help with anxiety before I knew that I had an alcohol problem.  Then came the benzos ☹ but in all reality I had some panic attacks as a child before alcohol and benzos, so I do think the anxiety came first.  These just weren't the solutions. Still struggle with alcohol mainly because that was my "go to" for so long.  It doesn't work anymore but still run that way when times get tough because that's all I've ever known.  That quick fix.  Trying to change that now after 15 years.  Still trying.

Yes I hate the word addict as well.  Very much struggle with that word even at meetings. I started alcohol to "fit in" ( peer pressure at a party when I was 20). I quickly noticed that it helped my anxiety.  Then the alcohol made my anxiety worse on days without it ( didn't know that yet,  that my anxiety would be worse coming off alcohol,  too naive). So I asked the doctor for help with anxiety before I knew that I had an alcohol problem.  Then came the benzos ☹ but in all reality I had some panic attacks as a child before alcohol and benzos, so I do think the anxiety came first.  These just weren't the solutions. Still struggle with alcohol mainly because that was my "go to" for so long.  It doesn't work anymore but still run that way when times get tough because that's all I've ever known.  That quick fix.  Trying to change that now after 15 years.  Still trying.

 

Wish you lots of luck!!  Keep trying, you can quit, honestly, for years I didn't think I could, but I did and have been very glad I did. 

Yes, I have also.  Very much same story as Pamster's.  Alcohol rehab at 36. The Xanax quite awhile later.  Like Pamster I knew it was a bad idea but I took 1 and felt so much better..  I think I have an addictive personality.  .  Alcoholism and drug abuse run on both sides of my family.  Oh how I wish I had never taken that first Xanax.    Mary 🙋🏼

 

Oh my goodness Mary, I went into rehab at 36 too, and don't ya know, they gave me Librium to detox so my first taste of a benzo was in alcohol rehab.  It would be funny if it weren't so sad. 

 

I'm still trying to break away from that all or nothing mentality that comes with an addictive personality.

Yes, I have also.  Very much same story as Pamster's.  Alcohol rehab at 36. The Xanax quite awhile later.  Like Pamster I knew it was a bad idea but I took 1 and felt so much better..  I think I have an addictive personality.  .  Alcoholism and drug abuse run on both sides of my family.  Oh how I wish I had never taken that first Xanax.    Mary 🙋🏼

 

Oh my goodness Mary, I went into rehab at 36 too, and don't ya know, they gave me Librium to detox so my first taste of a benzo was in alcohol rehab.  It would be funny if it weren't so sad. 

 

I'm still trying to break away from that all or nothing mentality that comes with an addictive personality.

 

That's exactly what happened to Stevie Nicks, she went in to get off Coke, ended up on , I have read Klonipin in one article, Xanax in another.  She had no idea why she was having all these symptoms, no interest in writing or singing, just sat on the couch.  It took years of her life, just like us.      .

 

I don't have an issue with what it's called.  I can get hooked on a new food, seriously, Starbucks with an extra shot.  OMG, loved Starbucks, one of the first things to go in withdrawal though. 

Yes I hate the word addict as well.  Very much struggle with that word even at meetings. I started alcohol to "fit in" ( peer pressure at a party when I was 20). I quickly noticed that it helped my anxiety.  Then the alcohol made my anxiety worse on days without it ( didn't know that yet,  that my anxiety would be worse coming off alcohol,  too naive). So I asked the doctor for help with anxiety before I knew that I had an alcohol problem.  Then came the benzos ☹ but in all reality I had some panic attacks as a child before alcohol and benzos, so I do think the anxiety came first.  These just weren't the solutions. Still struggle with alcohol mainly because that was my "go to" for so long.  It doesn't work anymore but still run that way when times get tough because that's all I've ever known.  That quick fix.  Trying to change that now after 15 years.  Still trying.

 

You have a great deal of self awareness Michelle, to be able to see the path you took and why is a good start in finding a new one.  I remember in rehab the counselors told us that because we drank for so many years, especially growing into an adult, we didn't develop the necessary life skills our peers had.  When we stop we're not prepared to handle what comes next, this seems like what you're dealing with now.  Your go to is no longer working for you so you have to find new strategies, and it's not easy when you're in pain.

 

The thing about alcohol when you get to the point you're at is, it's not fun anymore, not even close and the problems it brings just makes things worse.  I'm glad you're talking to us, I hope we can help you find a new direction. 

Not necessarily at the same time.  I've always battled 2 substances that mess with my gaba receptors. There must be some reason why I battle things that enhance gaba. Anyone else struggle with both?

 

Michellelc23,

 

I had the same problem so I can relate to this.  I was on both alcohol and benzos for many years and got off both in 2020!  I joined AA this year and honestly, it helped me immensely to get off Klonopin.  I've seen other members besides those of us on this thread who have had trouble with both substances so we definitely are not alone!  Glad to have you aboard!!

I drank heavily in my 20s as I found it helped my social anxiety. (33 years old now). Was on klonopin 1mg in 2011, along with drinking heavy on them daily. Even drank during weaning, my doctor in 2011 was a MORON. From what I know now I’m lucky to be alive

 

Quit drinking 4 years ago, but had to get back on Klonopin. Now I’m weaning off benzos, alcohol free...very reclusive wondering if I’ll get a life back

I would have never considered myself an alcoholic, although I always drank heavily on the weekends and was very social.  That’s kind of how the crowd I ran with had always been.  Didn’t drink Sun-Wed (with some exceptions obviously), come Thursday I would have a few drinks and Fri/Sat it was game on and I would get hammered both nights.  That’s how I rolled from ages 16-38. 

 

The whole social aspect centered around alcohol is what kept me from really addressing my health though.  I loved it.  Still would probably.  Go out with friends, see some live music or watch a game, and get hammered.  I had major FOMO and never wanted to press the pause button to truly get well.  Looking back, I knew in the early years that the benzos were affecting my motivation, mood, mental sharpness, and just overall emotional connection.  Alcohol on top of that didn’t help.  But, things didn’t get truly debilitating for me until much, much later on.  Had one bad episode of mental health in 2016 but in 2018 it was becoming apparent that I was really sliding.  Stopped alcohol and then gave getting off benzos a crack.