Wave or depression finding it so hard

Just want bit hope this might be sign of healing, been experiencing what I presume are waves, no windows to speak of. I can wake up feel fairly stable but suddenly the anxiety and intrusive thoughts hit me, panic attacks, heart rate goes up, feel sick. Can't link it to any particular triggers apart from sometimes if I'd had bad night? The overwhelming days of crying and depression have eased bit, but assumed I would get Windows with the waves, none so far?

I think some people do not have windows and some do Leann.

 

I am not sure what it's a sign of that you are having a wave, except some say that change is a positive sign, regardless of wave or window.  Also some say they felt at their worst  just before they healed,  so you never know, maybe it is a positive sign after all ,

 

It's always good to try and put a positive spin on things if at all possible., but I know too well how hard that is to do

 

That the overwhelming days of crying and depression have eased  a little, is definitely a move in the right direction, Definitely a positive there. 

 

Keep strong

 

Jen

 

 

Thanks Jen. Just wish would see bit more improvement. How you doing, being so restricted and not being able see anyone not helping.

I am trying to get through the day moment by moment Leann, the best way I can .

 

I am still in the throws of this withdrawal and so not worried about seeing anyone, as yet .

 

I will be glad when the world is nearer to normal again but for now I am not forcing anything.

 

Jane at Bristol said that until healed, pushing too hard will only cause more stress, and in my case I think she is right

 

However we all need different things to help us and for some it's company.

 

I have my lovely special son, and so I am fine

 

Jen

Yes we're all different, I know some people would rather be alone, For me seeing other people helped me, was a distraction, made me feel normal.  it's really hindering my recovery. Just get very frustrated as lockdowns don't solve things, just a temporary fix, and causing lot people to have mental health problems. Sounds like you're doing bit better anyway that's good xx

I didn’t get windows until last month you’ll get there! The first window was so weird. And wonderful. I’m in one now - so I’m in a good mood lol. They come and go for me throughout the day now. My waves suck worse though. Like I used to have symptoms 24/7 but could function. Now my waves are really kicking my butt. Idk....I wish there was a manual for what happens when

Glad you're improving. Could put up with the waves if got some improvement and then odd day when actually felt but more like a normal person. Some days feel I've completely lost my mind! Yep some sort of timeframe, guide be good, as just feels like being in limbo at moment. Feel the same as fierce lady at moment, mental symptoms are so hard

And my mental symptoms just went away last month. You two will get there. I think I’ve complained lately more than ever because I’m finally 100% awake and alert and aware, which makes me more angry that I have physical symptoms. Also the windows of symptom free are wonderful but the waves feel stronger now than the symptoms did when they were 24/7.

 

Anyway, you and fierce will get there. You will. The mental symptoms being gone is something I think I’ve taken for granted this month. I haven’t obsessed over a thing...

At 8.5 months out I find that I am having more windows, but the waves are much worse.  Down again with the benzo flu after a nice string of windows.  Egads, this is so frustrating.  Last week I was singing Christmas carols, and here I am back in bed with headache, chills and icky feeling.  Come on healing, show your face for all of us

And my mental symptoms just went away last month. You two will get there. I think I’ve complained lately more than ever because I’m finally 100% awake and alert and aware, which makes me more angry that I have physical symptoms. Also the windows of symptom free are wonderful but the waves feel stronger now than the symptoms did when they were 24/7.

 

Anyway, you and fierce will get there. You will. The mental symptoms being gone is something I think I’ve taken for granted this month. I haven’t obsessed over a thing...

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Thanks Meganz just hard to think they'll ever let up at the moment. The situation here has undoubtedly delayed my recovery, we can't see anyone at moment unless in a park and ir's freezing here, and that's likely to last until spring. Just being unable to have social contact or do anything means very difficult to try and distract from thoughts. Really pleased for you that things have really improved you deserve it. Just wish I would get  little window!]

Leann, that is so funny. I have severe social anxiety in my real life. It’s not a benzo symptom. It’s why I took benzos. So I’d rather hide and quarantine lol.

Yes that's strange so you'd probably be fine over here lol! I used to find seeing people going to various activities really helped to distract, Feeling quite depressed we're stuck like this, keep waking at about 4 am every day as well doesn't help.

Just wanted to ask is this a wave or depression? Never had a window but get few days when sort ov cope, but woke up this morning crying feeling never going recover . Was thinking about couple friends who broke off contact earlier in year saying need pull myself together. Just suddenly comes over me, this emotional roller coaster so hard cope with. Makes me think I'm pathetic to be not be coping?