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My only symptom is weakness


[Me...]

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Ok.

 

So I have no hope today.

I’m pissed off again. Because I felt great yesterday and now here I am.

 

But the only symptom I have is limb weakness. Like typing this is taking forever because it’s so hard to just move my thumbs. That is my only symptom. Someone tell me this is a common last symptom.

 

I have had 100+ symptoms come and go, or hit me all at once. Most of them were utter terrifying. So I can handle some weakness, right?

 

I seriously don’t know why I’m so upset about this. Ok I do. This symptom is hard because I have a job and a family. I couldn’t even clean today. Even though the other symptoms are scary, I could get stuff done with them. I was able to function throughout wd for the last few years and maintain a semi normal life while dealing with these whack a mole symptoms and secret torture.

 

But the weakness. If I didn’t have a job, I’d be cool with this. Like I’m feeling great today besides for this. And if I don’t move? I don’t feel any symptoms! So this isn’t torture like the other symptoms are. This isn’t really so bad. If I could watch movies in bed until this goes away? I wouldn’t be complaining! But I have to live my life because my family depends on me. So what now. And that’s why I’m pissed and hopeless today.

 

And then of course I find posts about others having no hope and of others not getting better. So I’m in success stories all night reminding myself that some people heal. Idk.

 

Someone tell me if this is my only symptom that I must be nearly done. Someone tell me this was your last symptom. I’ve heard this from a few people but I need to hear from more

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I feel as you do. I read a response you posted to someone's post and it resonated with me so well. But for some reason tonight I remembered the story of Stevie Nick's and I went Googling and searching on here to figure out how she was better in 47 days. Well, I found out that she detoxed in 47 days, meaning, she got the drug out of her system and didn't relapse, but she was sick for 2 years. She is now living a normal and healthy life. She was on 8 mg of Klonopin for many years which someone said was like 100 mg of Valium.  If she healed, we can too. I can't remember how many months you are in, but everyone is different. Your healing is right around the corner. It has to be. We have to get well. Pamster says we do. TheWay says we do. And so many others say we do . We heal. We have to. Please believe that. I am going to take a break from here for a week. Maybe you can do the same. Sometimes taking a break from here helps. We can check back in on each other if you would like.

 

Believe we heal.

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That Stevie nicks story helped me so much!!! Thank you. And yes maybe a break is good again. My last break I was very symptomatic. This weakness really isn’t so bad. What made it bad was reading the hopelessness and thoughts that I’d never get better.

 

 

Thank you icy! Thank you for the Stevie story....I was on 4mg of Klonapin. I’m only 28. I can get through this weakness. I’m sure Stevie didn’t have to work through her wd lol. But I need to be grateful I’m getting better. Noticably better .....

 

Sometimes the hopelessness here is contagious.

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Meganz,

 

I suddenly have the extreme fatigue also. I had not had it in about a year but it is here again. I seem to get strength back around 2 in the afternoon. Keep going girl! Our healing is just around the corner.

 

I think I need to take a break from this site also.

 

PG

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Is there any possible way that you can rearrange your life so that you get more time to chill out, not move a lot and not feel too many symptoms?

 

We're told to listen to our bodies. Yours is screaming at you to rest as much as your circumstances allow. I know that the real world doesn't make it so easy but it really sounds like you need it. I can't remember who said it but I read a post on this forum that really resonated with me. The gist of it was that half the recommendations seem to be to rest more and the other half seem to encourage physical activity... turns out that we need both at the same time.

 

At least try not to feel guilty/frustrated when you do need to take a rest. Isn't it a good sign that your body will relax? Granted, it seems to be a bit more than you would like but perhaps you can remember a time when all you wanted to do was relax, so it's not so bad.

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Thanks D,

I wish. But my husband has been unemployed ever since Covid started. I’m the only one with a job...my job is really mentally taxing. My husband helps a lot with the kids and I rest every evening right after work.

 

 

I didn’t sleep at all last night. Insomnia hit me. Because I have to work today and I was so upset about having to go back honestly. Slept like 3 hours total. I have internal buzzing and ear pounding is back. I thought about admitting myself to a psych ward and trying to get SSI or something at this point

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Hi Meganz

 

It is so frustrating to feel lousy and then  not get any sleep on top of that.  I do want to say, though you do not feel well, that having only one symptom is amazing!  You can def get through this.  You are tired, and it's no surprise.  You have gone through a very exhausting journey withdrawing from benzos.  Your body needs rest.  This will pass.  Rest when you can.  You are doing your best.

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How many children do you have? I know you had a baby a few months ago, so your naturally under more stress which is going to cause waves here and there. From every post I have read you are way too stressed by your symptoms. You need to accept it and practice acceptance. I have 3 kids under 8 and I don’t sleep, my baby still wakes me up every night. I’m under a ton of stress myself. Just like a storm produces a cloud it comes and goes same as your symptoms. Just tell yourself ok Yeap not fun but it will leave again. One things I am currently learning isJoy doesn’t come form have a symptom free life, it’s learning to have joy even in suffering. I know you have been through so much give yourself grace as your body is healing from having a baby. 💗
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I totally understand, Meganz.  You are usually the person who finds a bright spot, and today you are just down.  I am actually in protracted withdrawal, 27 months, but just do not go to that board. Reading horror stories does me no good.  I am hopeful that at 36 months I will be substantially better. I really wish there were more success stories, but I guess when people are successful they stop coming to this site.  When I had the terrific two month window, that is how it was with me.

It is bad that you have to work during this.  I really don't know how people do it, because I definitely couldn't. I have to congratulate you for having the strength to get up every day and go to a job. I am lucky I am retired, I just get to watch old movies on TCM all day, and take one day at a time.

BTW:  People are replying to your post and referring to the Stevie Nicks story.  Somebody said that she was better in 45 days or something like that.  It is my understanding that she was couchbound for 8 months. She had taken other drugs, and had been put on benzos by doctors who thought she would be helped, and she said benzos were the worse to get off of. 

Take care, Maganz!

Marja

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I totally understand, Meganz.  You are usually the person who finds a bright spot, and today you are just down.  I am actually in protracted withdrawal, 27 months, but just do not go to that board. Reading horror stories does me no good.  I am hopeful that at 36 months I will be substantially better. I really wish there were more success stories, but I guess when people are successful they stop coming to this site.  When I had the terrific two month window, that is how it was with me.

It is bad that you have to work during this.  I really don't know how people do it, because I definitely couldn't. I have to congratulate you for having the strength to get up every day and go to a job. I am lucky I am retired, I just get to watch old movies on TCM all day, and take one day at a time.

BTW:  People are replying to your post and referring to the Stevie Nicks story.  Somebody said that she was better in 45 days or something like that.  It is my understanding that she was couchbound for 8 months. She had taken other drugs, and had been put on benzos by doctors who thought she would be helped, and she said benzos were the worse to get off of. 

Take care, Maganz!

Marja

 

She detoxed in 45 days. But she was sick and reclusive for 2 years. I was not saying that she healed in detox, although some of the articles made it sound that way. She is one of the people that does not want to talk about. She moved on with her life. So if she didn't want to give all the details to her recovery, that is an indication of how others may feel. Maybe there are more successes out there but they don't want to relive it.

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Does it get worse if you push too hard and try to do too much?

Do you notice it get worse the day after or a few days after doing too much?

 

I have had this for years because of NE/CFS which ppl think is tiredness but is actually muscle fatiguability.

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Ajusta,

 

No it’s just a symptom that appeared last week that pops up randomly now where all my limbs get weak. I am sure it’s just another symptom that will go away.

 

Mar,

 

I hope your prayers start working. You so deserve it. You’re right, the horror stories aren’t helpful.

We never know what other people have going on. I think for example with me, it took so long for healing to start happening because I was POLY drugged. People that are symptomatic 10 years later might have other things they’re not sharing, or might be on other meds. So we never get the whole picture.

 

Godis,

 

You’re super right. Like I’m always way too stressed lol. Yes. Absolutely.

 

 

 

Today was a REALLY bad morning for me. Panic attacks, insomnia last night. Tons of symptoms like buzzing and weakness. And now I’m fine tonight. This is becoming more of a rollercoaster....I used to have symptoms 24/7 but now it’s like they all hit like wham, or all leave

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Meganz, I feel your roller coaster, as I am up and down and all round town.  Woke up feeling pretty good, couple hours later head pain surfaced, so resting now.  Usually my head pain lightens up somewhat around 5/6 p.m.  If I am lucky today and that happens, I hope to finish decorating the Christmas tree.  I find that if I rest every now and then, I can tamper down the symptoms somewhat.  You are a very strong person to be able to work, be a wife and mother, and attend to household chores.  I sure wish you could hit the recovery jackpot and wake up tomorrow symptom free.  I wish that for all of us :smitten:
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[49...]

She detoxed in 45 days. But she was sick and reclusive for 2 years. I was not saying that she healed in detox, although some of the articles made it sound that way. She is one of the people that does not want to talk about. She moved on with her life. So if she didn't want to give all the details to her recovery, that is an indication of how others may feel. Maybe there are more successes out there but they don't want to relive it.

She did talk about it a bit. She said her hair turned gray and her skin melted.

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She detoxed in 45 days. But she was sick and reclusive for 2 years. I was not saying that she healed in detox, although some of the articles made it sound that way. She is one of the people that does not want to talk about. She moved on with her life. So if she didn't want to give all the details to her recovery, that is an indication of how others may feel. Maybe there are more successes out there but they don't want to relive it.

She did talk about it a bit. She said her hair turned gray and her skin melted.

 

Right. I was only saying that she didn't talk about it much to give Meganz reassurance that some people heal completely and do not speak much about it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have the weakness too. I understand how you feel. It comes and goes I felt normal for a little while but ever since covid

More weakness. Very scary but its benzos.

Hang in there.

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