Abuse of diazepam and also codeine..... Attempting taper one at a time.....

Hi, was abusing illicit xanax and valium for maybe 18 months to 2 years..... About 18 months ago I put myself in debt to go to rehab for several weeks. I've suffered from depression, anxiety, ulcerative colitis and symptoms like extreme fatigue and sinus problems for years, I had always worked but I was falling apart so I stupidly chose self medication 🙄🙄.

The taper in rehab was quite brutal, found myself cut from 50mg diazepam a day to 0mg in approximately 4 weeks...... Unfortunately my body and mind didn't take it too well and I was in terrible shape when I left there.... Dizzy, sick, falling over, loss of memory etc.

 

I managed many months without using again, but I found my Dr's attitude to me and my health had changed, understandably so since I'd been an addict (still am I should say).

Anyway I eventually said "F this" and began abusing again in the hope of feeling better..... I didn't but I continued anyway.

 

This has went on for perhaps a year now, and I got myself to 25mg diazepam a day, although I am also abusing codeine which I will deal with after the diazepam. I was prescribed codeine for pain for years and, although it was uncomfortable, I found it the easier of the 2 to stop.

 

Anyway, sorry to go on, not sure if I'm looking for advice, support, or just writing it down to put it out there for myself.

Diazepam use is currently 10mg in morning, 10mg in early evening, and 5 mg before bed.... It was 10mg before bed about 2 days ago so I'm wondering when I'll feel the reduction.... Probably now as I certainly don't feel too great.

 

My next cut is planned for the early evening dose, from 10mg to roughly 7.5mg using a pill cutter, but as I said I'm waiting to see how my last cut goes before doing a thing.

 

I need to stop as they're not helping my illnesses, plus my GP, quite rightly, won't listen to me if I'm abusing anything.

 

Sorry to go on and on, and thank you to anyone who reads.

Stay safe everyone and much love, Robert

You can succeed in your taper.  Reduce about 10% each 10 days.  You can wait longer, reduce less.  A symptom based taper lets you wait for symptoms to settle as much as possible. 

 

Given that you have abused these meds, and that your doctor is not on your team now, you will need to be very very strong.  Tapering takes time. 

 

 

You can succeed in your taper.  Reduce about 10% each 10 days.  You can wait longer, reduce less.  A symptom based taper lets you wait for symptoms to settle as much as possible. 

 

Given that you have abused these meds, and that your doctor is not on your team now, you will need to be very very strong.  Tapering takes time.

 

10% each 10 days... Got it. Your brain sometimes tricks you into thinking you can do it quicker, but I know it would be a disaster. Even that 5mg drop I made was probably too much, but I'm not going back now, just gotta ride it out.

Yeah willpower is your strongest weapon, I could say I have it but I wouldn't be in this mess if I did. Still, think positive and all that.

It'll be a long road but I'll stick to that 10% rule..... It'll be a nighthawk with one of those pill cutters but I'll try Judge it.

 

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it, stay safe ❤️👍

It’s natural to want to go fast to get off the drugs faster. I was like that when I first started tapering. I finally had to slow things way down. I think that you will find that your results will be much better with a slow taper.

It’s natural to want to go fast to get off the drugs faster. I was like that when I first started tapering. I finally had to slow things way down. I think that you will find that your results will be much better with a slow taper.

 

Thanks for your reply, yeah I figure it's the way to go. I have very bad days, bad days, and days that aren't so bad so things can be a bit delicate and I'm in no position to rock the boat more than I need to.

I got myself into this position, and I'll need to stay strong and stick to that '10% every 10 days' rule and see how my symptoms are.

 

I'm also going to read a lot of posts on this forum, there are a lot of success stories from people who were maybe in a worse position than myself. So it can be done.

 

Thanks again for your reply and stay safe ❤️👍