Night delirium in the head. Who else?

Sorry, I have already created two threads on this forum, but this haunts me and scares me.

 

Almost every night, at about 3-4 o'clock in the morning, a terrible delirium begins in my head. I can't concentrate my thoughts, I can't speak normally, I can't close my eyes to fall asleep, because everything starts flickering in my head, like in rewinding a movie. I have a strong depersonalization with dereal, and at the same time at night I cannot even understand who I am, where I am, in some dimension?

 

I have almost 11 months after my last dose of benzodiazepine. Who else has experienced or is experiencing the same thing?

 

Calm me down, please, because I no longer understand how I can survive such nights.

I'm very familiar with these symptoms. These are just symptoms of extreme chemical anxiety brought on by the withdrawal. Mine always gets really bad at night during waves too. I had this a lot during my first couple years. It gets better. You're not going crazy, even though it feels like you are.

I've never had quite such intense symptoms as that but it is common for people to struggle at this time more than others. It may reassure you to know that there is a reason, although obviously this is still not pleasant.

 

The reason most likely relates to the cortisol awakening response. It's the body's way of preparing itself for the stress of the day to come. The problem is that like anything in withdrawal, this natural function is amplified to the extent that it leads to uncomfortable or sometimes awful symptoms. I'm sorry that this is affecting you so much. My symptoms at this time tend to be anxiety based. I feel shaky and nauseous and I have an overactive mind. I can quench these symptoms with cannabis, either regular weed with THC or CBD hemp in my vaporizer. I'm torn on whether I should be doing this regularly, whether this will interfere with healing, so I give myself a break sometimes. I don't know whether this is an option for you or not, just putting it out there.

 

In any case, I wanted to share what I know because it might help reassure, even if just a little. I hope this calms down for you soon.

Thanks. Your messages helped me a lot.

It's just that in 11 months my nerves are already losing my mind and it seems to me that I can simply go crazy and die.

I can totally sympathise with your struggle. 11 months really is too long to have to experience this. It's an unfortunate reality that many people have this experience for way longer than anyone should. The good thing is, it won't be like this forever. I've been on this board for a little while now. I'm just starting to see members coming back to say how much better they are. These are members that I recall suffering from truly horrendous symptoms a matter of just a few months ago. Things can change quite quickly, that's why you need to just keep going. 

Thanks for the support.

I read on the forum that i can shouldn't expect any improvement in the first year, and that a slight decrease in symptoms occurs in the second year. It's true?

I noticed a lot of improvement around month 14.  I am so much better...I am not healed yet but I can function somewhat opposed to being home bound.

 

Love

Fiercey

I noticed a lot of improvement around month 14.  I am so much better...I am not healed yet but I can function somewhat opposed to being home bound.

 

Love

Fiercey

I'm very happy for you!

It gives me hope.

Almost 4 months have passed since my message, but all these symptoms have not gone away. And I haven't found anyone on the forum, not even a search engine, who has experienced the same.

 

Maybe someone is familiar with these symptoms that I described at the beginning of the topic?

It is killing me.

I’m sorry you are still struggling, please continue to hang in there and try not to panic, these symptoms can persist... but they will eventually stop.

Hey, it sounds like a sort of hypnagogia. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? Benzos mess with REM sleep and withdrawing from benzos can lead to rebound phenomena. Vivid dreams that wake you up are quite common. I've had some pretty weird things happen in the night, hallucinatory experiences, false awakenings, loud static sound. I used to be disturbed until I was satisfied that it is a benign phenomenon.

 

I'm almost certain that it'll be worse the more you fret over it. The key is to accept what is happening and in time it will fade.