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I have 3 messages in my inbox, and feel so freaked can't even open them.  Don't even know who they are from.  One has been sitting there for a long time. 

 

I'm so sorry, and hope you understand.  Having a hard time at the moment with setback.  Symptoms I thought I'd avoided have reared their ugly head.  Listing to the left, bone pain and stiffness.  Scared I'm going to fall.  Mental shit.  More.

 

Still, DP/DR.  This is so difficult to endure as live on my own and doctors either roll their eyes or patronise. 

 

I've always been honest with doctors about my previous problem with alcohol so know I must have notes somewhere. Now the osteoporosis, or WD, idk, is causing pain in ribs and legs and doctor looks at me like I'm drug seeking, and I'm not.  I hate f'ing drugs and alcohol. He tells me to take paracetamol, but it is not strong enough to stop the pain.  Felt like telling him I can access OxyContin from friend who had lung cancer, but I've always resisted doing so, and will continue to do so.  Why won't he believe me. He's kind, but I know he is reluctant because of my history.  I'm seeking something LESSER than oxy because I NEED it. Aaarrrggghhh!  He's forcing me to take a drug I know is very strong, and don't want to take it.  He's forcing my hand, and all I'm holding is a mit full of deuces. 

 

I hate this world at the moment feel so alone, defeated, broken.

 

I'm so sorry for not getting back to people, just haven't got it in me to even open them. 

 

Sorry.  :'(

 

That's my vent, thanks for listening dear people. 

 

Dee

:smitten:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Oh Dee. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Your symptoms are DP and pain, anything else?

I am sending you virtual hugs. You never have to be sorry for anything here. Feel free to not respond to things!!!

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Dee, I’d bring you some sativa. I’ve always been comforted that you are here on the forum, too bad you have to be but I like that you’re stuck with me. It’d be a whole lot kinkier lonelier (predictive text... cool) without you, although I know you’d pay it forward regardless.

 

I wish I had anything much to say, I also know how hard it can be to write. Seems like writing is all we have, but I think there is something that connects us even in silence. I’d say someone who connects us, but saying that love does is also accurate in my opinion.

 

Wish that we could have the ability to meet in person, even at our worst. I’d love to meet you, and sit with you and do nothing. I always feel connected to you Australians, it started with Wombat Stew.

 

You’re special to me and to so many of us,

  you don’t have to do anything to be such.

 

We love you.

:smitten:

Michele

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I extend my empathy and sympathies.  I hate the DP/DR it makes me feel like I’m going to have a seizure!  No one should have to experience that ever!  I’m so sorry that is still lingering for you. It’s the worst!  I still get it on and off and I never know the intensity of which it is going to appear. *HUGS* and I’m hoping this “WAVE” ends for you soon
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A big hug for you Dee.. OoO

 

Like MonP and many others, I sure “get” the post/reply issues that arise, esp. the important ones with people im close to and really care about (if thats the right way to put it..??).. Its soul destroying..

Oh how far we are from the days of the “Calling all Aussies” thread we once had going..!! :(

 

Also relate to the “late game” round of symptoms, -the nasty ones I thought I had been spared... Its been a big shock, but im holding on to the experiences of those that have gone before us and made it free and clear, -though its not quite as easy as it sounds to write, as im sure you understand..

 

I do want to say, you have a fantastic presence about you no matter the struggles you face, and while its heart breaking to see more piled on top, I can only see you fighting your way through and beating this like the warrior you are..

I hope that doesnt sound patronising or dismissive in any way, the right words are being elusively difficult..

 

Sending strength, healing, and well wishes...

:)

Oo

 

 

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I have 3 messages in my inbox, and feel so freaked can't even open them.  Don't even know who they are from.  One has been sitting there for a long time. 

 

I'm so sorry, and hope you understand.  Having a hard time at the moment with setback.  Symptoms I thought I'd avoided have reared their ugly head.  Listing to the left, bone pain and stiffness.  Scared I'm going to fall.  Mental shit.  More.

 

Still, DP/DR.  This is so difficult to endure as live on my own and doctors either roll their eyes or patronise. 

 

I've always been honest with doctors about my previous problem with alcohol so know I must have notes somewhere. Now the osteoporosis, or WD, idk, is causing pain in ribs and legs and doctor looks at me like I'm drug seeking, and I'm not.  I hate f'ing drugs and alcohol. He tells me to take paracetamol, but it is not strong enough to stop the pain.  Felt like telling him I can access OxyContin from friend who had lung cancer, but I've always resisted doing so, and will continue to do so.  Why won't he believe me. He's kind, but I know he is reluctant because of my history.  I'm seeking something LESSER than oxy because I NEED it. Aaarrrggghhh!  He's forcing me to take a drug I know is very strong, and don't want to take it.  He's forcing my hand, and all I'm holding is a mit full of deuces. 

 

I hate this world at the moment feel so alone, defeated, broken.

 

I'm so sorry for not getting back to people, just haven't got it in me to even open them. 

 

Sorry.  :'(

 

That's my vent, thanks for listening dear people. 

 

Dee

:smitten:

I think one was me. It was just to say thanks for a thoughtful post you made after mine, where I had missed something that you spotted. I'm being vague because there's a reason I sent a PM. You can safely ignore it, it probably won't make a lot of sense because I didn't link the thread I was talking about.

 

I never took offense. I know that people are going through various kinds of crap and I'm doing well at the moment so this wouldn't bother me anyway.

 

I've avoided messages for fear of being triggered too. Felt guilty about it at the time too, it comes with the territory. I hope that you'll feel a bit better about the situation now, because there's nothing to worry about.  :)

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Dee,

So sorry you are suffering and I am praying for your recovery. These setbacks are no joke,  but we will get through them just as others have before us. I am alone too so I know how difficult it seems when we are going through. We are going to be okay!

 

Love and Compassion

PG

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Dee,

 

I'm so sorry for the setback, I know it's frustrating. I hope you can find some relief from the pain you are experiencing. Vent anytime you need to, that's what BB is all about, a place to be 'real' about what you are going through.

 

I'm sending strength and healing your way as you navigate through this, and you will get through it.

 

PG  :smitten:

 

 

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Oh Dee  . I am so sorry  you are going through this. You have stayed so strong throughout, and often put me to shame.

 

I do hope your can get  the right help for your pain.

 

How this goes on and on, just when we think there might be some hope,

 

I don't know why some of us suffer the way we do.

 

However I am hoping that this settles down again for you as soon as can be

 

Sending my love

 

Jen

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Aww see I'm sorry!!

Ever thought about THC oil for the pain? Like medical grade kind?

The state I live in it's not legal, but my Neurologist got me a pot card so I could buy it out of state and legally carry it.

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Cant fly and dee, are u aussies? Me too x sending u so much love dee x

Yeah mate.. Qld..

:)

Me too  :D we need to start a new Aussie thread.

My posting might be pretty hit n miss atm, as above^^, but there are quite a few of us floating around...

:)

 

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Thank you all so much for your encouraging and supportive replies.  I really needed it.  Felt broken. 

 

Have not been able to get back to you all because flat on my back with compression fracture of spine.  :D.  It is not benzo related, but result osteoporosis.  Totally shit pain. Immobilising.

 

The wave I am encountering was however, triggered by medication to TREAT osteoporosis.  Can't prove it I suppose, but can't help but see the link.  I was nervous about taking it, but both my endocrinologist and GP persuaded me.  Don't know what I'm going to do because do know the crippling effects of osteoporosis.  Day at a time for me at the moment. 

 

Thank you all for your beautiful and much needed replies, but fair dinkum, I've been out for the count.  :sick:

 

Dee

:smitten: 

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Oh dinkum, Dee, :smitten:🐨🥰❤️🌴 sorry you are in pain like this. Hope it gets better soon. The last thing you need is pressure. Hoping it improves.
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Yes, I'm an aussie, Shayna.  Sydney.  Love your Jimi Hendrix avatar.  I've felt like smashing a few guitars myself lately.  :D

 

Just so people know, my little "green light" is always On, not because I'm at my computer, but because I am always "logged in". 

 

Feel for you Fly, as I know how much pain you have endured.  Let's just say, I can empathise. 

F'k Me Dead! 

 

D.  ❤️

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You are as strong as the rest of us Jen.  Wouldn't be here 12 months later if you weren't.  ❤️

 

I'll be 2 years on March 1.  Head too screwed to count backwards at the moment.  Try not despair 😩

 

Horrible as it might seem, this shit can still be happening at 12 months, and nearly 2 years for me.  Others even longer.  We will get there, because we are strong together. 

 

Dee xxx

 

 

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Yes, I'm an aussie, Shayna.  Sydney.  Love your Jimi Hendrix avatar.  I've felt like smashing a few guitars myself lately.  :D

 

Just so people know, my little "green light" is always On, not because I'm at my computer, but because I am always "logged in". 

 

Feel for you Fly, as I know how much pain you have endured.  Let's just say, I can empathise. 

F'k Me Dead! 

 

D.  ❤️

 

Wow well hello mate x I love Jimi too... yep I feel u. I’d love to smash something right now, maybe we could start with a plate we don’t use much anymore guitars are too expensive  :laugh:  I have degenerative scoliosis not the same as osteoporosis but I get a lot of disc herniation and pain. How did ur osteoporosis start dee? Sending u a big hug from qld x

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Big hugs back to you cobber :)

 

Osteoporosis runs in female side of my family Shayna.  My mother had it very badly.  Kyphosis, big time. 

 

She was such a stoic, and once asked her doctor if he had seen a back as "bad" as hers.  He said yes, but no-one who could endure it so well.  She felt really proud of herself, poor old thing.  They don't make 'em like that anymore.  Not for me though, I'll take the drugs if I need them.  Something about stoicism that gets on my nerves a bit.  The martyr, etc.  I cared about her though.  ❤️

 

She resisted opioids for ever and a day, thinking she'd become a 'junkie'  :laugh:  We said, "Mum, who gives a crap if you're a junkie at 90 years of age.  Just Do It.  And so she did. I laughed to myself when she said, "they seem to give me a bit of a lift". 

 

I'm sorry you have spinal problems as well Shayna.  I fear my spine will degenerate with the osteoporosis.  Micro fractures occurring over time.  Ageing sux.  But I guess we outlived Jimi. 

 

I don't like smashing guitars either.  Seems saccreligious (sp).  I'm up for smashing all those chipped plates in the cupboard though. 

 

I hope you are doing OK Shayna, this stuff is hard.  Just got to keep stirring the Wallaby Stew. 

 

 

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Wow ur mum was a trooper! 90 years old with all that pain and no help for it! This women sure were brittons as my mum would say!

 

I’m so sorry ur in such pain too dee x pain is hard especially in wd.

 

Well on our bad days let’s start smashing stuff! Why not! Did u know u can go to rooms where they give u a bat snd u can just break stuff! How therapeutic  :)

 

Yep it is so hard. I thought I was having a bad morning after little sleep last night but then I broke a plugger on my walk this morning. Seriously things can’t get worse  :laugh:

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Am feeling pretty screwed, but trying to get back to the kindness of others before I go double dose the analgesics, which frankly do F all.  Just take the edge off, and the pain breaks through quickly.  Maybe my doctor is a sadist?  :D

 

I think it might have been mon pilote who made reference to our good old wombat?  It really touched me.  When young, my bf used to call me his "little wombat".  I've since transformed into a Tasmanian Devil. A really old one.  :laugh:

 

I think it was you, mon pilote.  Thanks for thinking of the wombat, they really are gorgeous creatures.  And fun fact, they do "square poos".    :laugh:

 

Dee

:smitten:

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