Not sure this is benzos anymore

I tapered off of 1 mg klonopin very slowly over the course of 3 YEARS! I wasn't even on a high amount compared to others and I did it over 3 years. Still, as I came down more and more I lost my job, my calmness, my ability to think rationally and clear. I've been off almost 8 months now and every day is the same with no improvements. In fact I'm very worried at this point because many things have gotten so much worse. I barely eat, my panic and depression consumes my life 24/7. Intrusive thoughts, physically ill, too many things to list. All I have are negative thoughts all day every day. Can't even keep a job or do anything normal cause I constantly worry about everything or I'm too fatigued to move. People in support groups say I will heal and this is all healing. Well, I wasn't even this bad 2 or 3 months off. So healing consists of watching your life deteriorate further and further? I had bad depression and anxiety before I ever put a benzo in my mouth. Except now its just as bad as ever. I'm lost on what to do with my life at this point. I don't want to go back on but this is no way to live. I haven't had a "window"...whatever that means.

 

Edit: Removed disallowed content.

Have your symptoms gotten worse since the pandemic, are you working with a therapist , do you have any support in real life?

This sounds about right. I frequently got worse before I got better

I'm with Meganz on that point lespaul.  It didn't make sense to me that things were getting worse right about the 8 month mark, and following. 

 

I does begin to improve. 

 

I'm 21 months off Valium. 

 

I'm so glad I didn't reinstate, but admit to a couple of rescue doses.  Better not to, but sometimes it became impossible, unendurable. 

 

Dee x

Are you looking after yourself well?

 

I am only 4 months off the benzos and feeling pretty good. I got serious about my health, which had suffered because of the whole nightmare with pharmaceuticals. I stepped up my exercise levels a little while ago, basically making an hour of walking a minimum for 5 days per week, quite often doing more than that. But what really moved things along was eliminating processed food and sugar from my diet, amongst other optimisations. It makes a huge difference. I've also done several 24 hour fasts, a 48 hour fast and just recently a 110 hour fast. I only recommend it if you do your research and take it carefully and steady, don't dive into a long fast without first doing a shorter fast, but obviously leave plenty of time between fasts for recovery. Don't think of doing this if you're still on any meds. This isn't detailed advice, what I'm saying is don't dive in on the strength of what I am saying. But somebody looking to push their recovery along, there are lots of good reasons to try it, not least because prolonged fasting leads to stem cell production which theoretically and by my own experience is like pouring fertilizer on your recovery.

 

Cold water therapy and the Wim Hof Method is something I've been interested in lately. If the reason your recovery has stalled is that you're in need of a shake up, my suggestions should literally give your physiology a little jolt. I think that's not a bad idea for some.