Got off 3,5yr benzo habit in 2 weeks, with 0 withdrawal than three symptoms

How could this be possible!? I was fighting this addiction for 3,5yrs, and in the end it escalated from 40mg valium to 10 bars a day habit xanax... just gave up! Even then on 20mg xanax a day i was in withdrawals sweating at night, then redosing. Horrible time!

 

I just got detoxed in 2 weeks, on day 14 i was just shaking, headache, and sweating. I got to the doc, and he gave me some medicine, and 5mg diazepam to taper further. Now i'm 3 weeks off any kinds of medication, and i'm going good. 0 symptoms, wooow?! where is it?! i don't even miss the benzos. I wouldn't say i'm fully healed, as i'm still fuzzy, lazy, and slow. I'm happy i'm back on my feet though. I would say maybe because of my age i recovered fast? or is it just a miracle?

 

Just turned 25. It's my birthday today, also got a heartbreak recently, then moved to live on my own from parents, also got a lot of bills to pay. I wouldn't be concerned if a truck ran over me! Still happy i'm over the benzo's. It was pure pain! Now it's a new start on life! I will do all of my best to never relapse, and continue working on myself 

 

Warning: Never try to get off benzo's in 2 weeks! Those doc's were pure evil! I told them it was a mistake, and i landed in my doc's office at day 14 shaking like a terrified child.

If you were dosing constantly and never withdrew before, that would mean you avoided kindling and all withdrawal that you felt was just body fighting against benzos in your system. Once they cleared from your system, the body stopped fighting.

I was constantly redosing, but i did withdraw many times, because i drank alcohol in mid taper or relapsed like 5 times! I couldn't take the taper process, and those evil docs decided to just switch me to 25mg diazepam with a bunch of other pills against withdrawals from my abuse. Before this i also used diclazepam 20mg, etizolam 10mg  on top like 4months. Then klonopin 10mg, and finally xanax 20mg. Mind you i was a responsible benzo user against social anxiety, which was so bad, my heart was beating when i had to talk. 5-10mg diazepam daily removed that problem, weird thing is after a year on the diazepam it was gone by itself, because the addiction gave me worse anxiety problems when i went cold turkey after a year off the 40mg diazepam. Then failed my tapers continously after that for 1,5 year before shit just got more real than ever by switching to synthethic benzodiazepines.

 

I had kindling on diazepam, and xanax. I couldn't even notice any difference when i swallowed 8mg xanax at same time, it felt like i just got normal. Nothing else! I used to get withdrawal symptoms at night, like headache, sweating, dark feeling, anxiety, night terrors, and freezin,  If i didn't take a nitrazepam top of the xanax. 10 bars a day went quick because i took 2x 5 times a day. Though u could be right! My body hated it, and probably was struggling!

 

These days i'm good without i think it's 4 weeks actually without any benzo, but i am bored to death of life these days. I don't even know what to do besides gym, and smoking weed sometimes. Weed makes me kinda weird, but i can handle it quite well. I think the benzo cleared itself out of my system now. When will i be able to not find any difficulty in having effortless fun or rather ease with doing things. I find myself bored, lazy, and unable to stay in routines or any household work. Everything feels boring if it's not very fun! Is this just deppression? Should i force myself for 6 months to do my things, to be able to continue effortlessly or what? Everything is just a chore.

Not depression, possibly just anhedonia. So, what drugs did they fill you up with to take you off benzos so quickly. I know that anticonvulants are used in rapid benzo detox (lamotrigine, oxcarbazepine, topiramate).

They gave me neurontin often, and sodium valporate, then quetiapine for sleep. Also antihistamine which had some GABA function as well. Yes it's anhedonia. I feel better these days, like i'm coming back to the way i percieved things like before. Small things i forgot, like the feeling of christmas, and winter. 

They gave me neurontin often, and sodium valporate, then quetiapine for sleep. Also antihistamine which had some GABA function as well. Yes it's anhedonia. I feel better these days, like i'm coming back to the way i percieved things like before. Small things i forgot, like the feeling of christmas, and winter. 

So your off Benzos but taking other drugs??

 

                                                    Nova xxx :smitten:

Nope, i don't take any other drugs. I just finished smoking cannabis everyday for a month or two, because it helped against the anhedonia, but i've put it down now, as it costs too much, and gives bad quality sleep in the end.

Nope, i don't take any other drugs. I just finished smoking cannabis everyday for a month or two, because it helped against the anhedonia, but i've put it down now, as it costs too much, and gives bad quality sleep in the end.

Thanks AG456  and how are you doing now?

 

 

                                      Nova xxx :smitten:

I'm not doing too well actually. Even though i managed to get off, i feel neurotic, and my behavior is worrying me. It seems like 2 months later, suddenly i can't handle life off them, Iike i did on them. I also got rejected by a girl, and it feels bad! I don't kniw why i would even try dating in this situation, i think i got ahead of myself, and managed to crash my own emotional system.

 

Since then i've been drinking, criticising myself, and my life. I'm actually waiting to get in rehab soon, i need therapy for all of this to be able to live normally. I hate the fact that i don't work, and that i'm on disability aid money, which is not enough. I want to work, and i'm able to work for the life i want, and the only way to do that is getting myself in rehab, where they will help me get a job even. It's a good place, that fixes your life, and everything. 3 months out, and i'm more deppressed, and more worried about my life. It's like i suddenly realized all of my failure, and who i am. That's pretty bad, even though i can learn my way out of this. I feel like i'm resisting life, tired of it, and hating every thing about it. Even the positive, just because they give the negative. I must be out of balance?

 

I quit the drinking, and didn't have any problems after i stopped 2 days ago. I've been drinking like 1-4 a week increasing, and i dont know if it's the alcohol that has made me more vulnerable. I feel psychologically tortured, with almost every kind of psychological symptoms from every diagnosis. At the same time i blame my life for it, and how i haven't fixed it. I'm 25 living with parents, no job, no gf, heartbroken, no friends, not enough money, no interests, no hobbies,nothing. I workoutat home, and watch TV all day...

I know you felt fairly good physically after you stopped the drugs but you're very early in your recovery, the thoughts about your life and your future are classic withdrawal symptoms.  I don't doubt that rehab will help you but I also feel that time away from the drug will as well, please don't beat yourself up with these thoughts because they aren't you, they're a symptom, as is not having an interest in anything, feeling dead inside.

 

Drinking during your recovery sounds like it's harming you, I hope you can stay away from it while your brain is trying to heal from the benzo's. 

Thanks for confirming it's the withdrawals. I was pretty confused, and feeling ashamed of myself on being a loser. The worst of my problems are that i'm longing after to be heard, and wanting connecting with others emotionally, like unrealistically too much. It doesn't do me any good, as no human can satisfy my needs to be heard that much. So i beat myself up for being weak, and nothing seems to help my dependent behaviour. I was never like this.. It's like someone took the soul out of me, and i need refill from other people that has a soul.

 

Yes i put the alcohol down, as it was giving me negative consequences! I don't even like alcohol. I was drinking to surpress my emotional vulnerability, and intensity. Doesn't work for me, i became worse this other day, looking in the mirror drunk, and feeling like i was fat, and ugly.

What you're going through is why BenzoBuddies exists, the emptiness and loneliness we feel while going through this causes us to constantly seek validation and reassurance, what you're feeling is common.  If you never felt like this before then please know you won't be like this when you recover, it just takes too long.

 

You can actually help by doing what you can to distract yourself with activities, anything to keep the thoughts away if only for a minute at time is a relief.  You're right, no one can fill up the emptiness inside of you, but time away from the drug will. 

I'm trying to find out what i can do other than working out at home. I went for walks etc, but got bored. This covid makes it hard to contact old friends, and my hobbies feel out of reach. Especially with having anhedonia. There are too little activities to do. Lately i've just satisfied my needs with spending money recklessly, and eating a lot. Now i budget, and went on a diet. It's very hard to come up with what activity to do, and i haven't been able to for years. I used to play pool, and ping pong when i quit marijuana, but atm i have no one to do ut with.

I hope you'll start a thread on the Post-withdrawal Recovery Support board, it sounds like you could use some support from our other members, maybe you can get some ideas from them about how they fill their day and distract from this nightmare.

Join Meetup.com it is a service used to organize online groups that host in-person and virtual events for people with similar interests, and  will help you reconnect and make friends and find something positive with lots of different options as to what you can do.  I only wish I could but I'm long term housebound with severe mental and physical symptoms , and still tapering but if I was able to that's what I would do, I don't know where you live but its a world wide organisation so you just have to put your location in, they also have an app as well as desk top. Hope that helps you some.

 

 

                                                                                  Nova xxx  :smitten: