Alone- mid life

Anyone in there mid 40's lost everything,  had too rely on toxic family members.... On top of BWS

In the middle of wding also from them too as I feel more alone... feeling lost, this has caused me a lot of sorrow, stress, hopelessness ... Can you still make it?  I feel so broken

ANY SUCCESS STORIES from alone people?

 

Living is such an effort, I have nothing to keep me going... Its not like live was amazing then  but I had hope

My current friends I feel they pity me somewhat + they don't get it...

I can't make new friends bc I don't feel well and its all very heartbroken

Its been 3 years since  this startled ... needed K for ssri wd....I hardly have energy and the fatigue< i use to be  and active person always taking care of myself :'( I feel like I screwed up my last opportunity

Some words of encouragement thank you God Bless you all

 

 

I’m in my mid thirties but can pretty much relate. Also lost everything in this whole process. Also stuck dependent on toxic abusive family members. It’s really hard, I’m sorry you’re going through it. It can be so hard to envision a better future. I often feel my life is over and ruined and I missed or lost so much and so many opportunities. But that’s my benzo brain talking. Who knows where we could be at a year from now? We can’t predict the future.

 

That being said not having caring people around you, and not being able to support oneself, during this process really really adds to the strain of it. The trick is remembering, as often as you can, to be good to yourself. My family completely gaslights me about being ill. I have had to learn to emotionally distance myself from them even though we live in the same place. To not give them any info (aka ammunition) to make this harder for me. I don’t tell them how I am, I just say ‘fine’ or ‘healing’, I currently don’t even share meals. You have to figure out what kind of boundaries you can set with people who are toxic and then stick to them for your own well-being. Not easy. That trapped feeling can really make us spin out, it’s a huge trigger for those of us with benzo damaged systems who come from toxic families.

 

Please remember to be kind to yourself and go easy on yourself, challenge those thoughts that your life is over by remembering as grueling as this whole thing is, it will end. You will heal, you will build a whole new life for yourself. You deserve kindness, compassion, love, and support even if you can’t get it from your family. Hugs. Defy them and take as good of care of yourself every day as you can manage. One day you will be free and back on your feet again! Never give up, it means they win (this is what I remember when I’m losing it and want to).

I’m in my mid thirties but can pretty much relate. Also lost everything in this whole process. Also stuck dependent on toxic abusive family members. It’s really hard, I’m sorry you’re going through it. It can be so hard to envision a better future. I often feel my life is over and ruined and I missed or lost so much and so many opportunities. But that’s my benzo brain talking. Who knows where we could be at a year from now? We can’t predict the future.

 

That being said not having caring people around you, and not being able to support oneself, during this process really really adds to the strain of it. The trick is remembering, as often as you can, to be good to yourself. My family completely gaslights me about being ill. I have had to learn to emotionally distance myself from them even though we live in the same place. To not give them any info (aka ammunition) to make this harder for me. I don’t tell them how I am, I just say ‘fine’ or ‘healing’, I currently don’t even share meals. You have to figure out what kind of boundaries you can set with people who are toxic and then stick to them for your own well-being. Not easy. That trapped feeling can really make us spin out, it’s a huge trigger for those of us with benzo damaged systems who come from toxic families.

 

Please remember to be kind to yourself and go easy on yourself, challenge those thoughts that your life is over by remembering as grueling as this whole thing is, it will end. You will heal, you will build a whole new life for yourself. You deserve kindness, compassion, love, and support even if you can’t get it from your family. Hugs. Defy them and take as good of care of yourself every day as you can manage. One day you will be free and back on your feet again! Never give up, it means they win (this is what I remember when I’m losing it and want to).

Thank you for your replay, so kind of you!  oh I so get it...so sorry you have to go through as well, I guess what I can add is to be grateful to have a place to stay while going through this, even thou is not ideal :'(  I'm grateful I got disability  but Its also tough to be alone at this stage in my live... Thank you for your kind words! back to you... stay strong! I know we need the encouragement

I'm in my 60s so I have a different perspective. 40s is still so young! (I wish I'd known that then.) Until then, just care for yourself. You can't know right now how different and better you will feel when your taper is done - and 40 really is still a lot of time to have a good life. Hang in there.

I'm in my 60s so I have a different perspective. 40s is still so young! (I wish I'd known that then.) Until then, just care for yourself. You can't know right now how different and better you will feel when your taper is done - and 40 really is still a lot of time to have a good life. Hang in there.

apologize for the late response,  Im in my mid 40's and I wanted children this has taken that opportunity and also lost someone ... and I have to do this alone and its so scary....

Thank you take care   Do you have family?

I'm in the same boat. Just turned 46, never married, no kids. I live in a different country to my family and don't speak the local language. I've only seen 1 of my so called friends in 7 months, the rest have just disappeared since I haven't been able to work and go boozing.

 

It's not easy, and constantly get depressed thinking of my future. Probably looking at a lonely life with a dog, but couldn't even look after a dog at the moment

I'm in my 60s so I have a different perspective. 40s is still so young! (I wish I'd known that then.) Until then, just care for yourself. You can't know right now how different and better you will feel when your taper is done - and 40 really is still a lot of time to have a good life. Hang in there.

apologize for the late response,  Im in my mid 40's and I wanted children this has taken that opportunity and also lost someone ... and I have to do this alone and its so scary....

Thank you take care   Do you have family?

 

No, I don't have family. Long story but briefly, I was a late-life baby and I ended up taking care of my parents during the years I would have been making my own family. One thing I found helped for a while was I taught for a few years before COVID - 200 kids per week, per year - and it was wonderful and seemed to heal up some of that particular regret.

I know how scary it is. I'm doing it alone, too. 

I'm in my 60s so I have a different perspective. 40s is still so young! (I wish I'd known that then.) Until then, just care for yourself. You can't know right now how different and better you will feel when your taper is done - and 40 really is still a lot of time to have a good life. Hang in there.

apologize for the late response,  Im in my mid 40's and I wanted children this has taken that opportunity and also lost someone ... and I have to do this alone and its so scary....

Thank you take care   Do you have family?

 

No, I don't have family. Long story but briefly, I was a late-life baby and I ended up taking care of my parents during the years I would have been making my own family. One thing I found helped for a while was I taught for a few years before COVID - 200 kids per week, per year - and it was wonderful and seemed to heal up some of that particular regret.

I know how scary it is. I'm doing it alone, too. 

Oh how wonderful I also taught children and even been a nanny briefly and I guess if I get a second change would love to do that again... sending you hugs and lots of strength

 

Oh how wonderful I also taught children and even been a nanny briefly and I guess if I get a second change would love to do that again... sending you hugs and lots of strength

 

Sending you hugs and wishes for strength, as well.  :smitten: :smitten:

You will get a second chance!!