Painted in a corner...

My name is Chris and I am 38 years old.  I  have found myself in a very frightening and complicated situation.  I have a long history of drug use, followed by sobriety and psychiatry. Never did I imagine kicking heroin would look like a walk in the park compared to this mess.

 

Recent Use:

 

2008-2018 - Gabapentin.  Was given in rehab and kept on for years being told it was a safe anxiety medication.  Tapered off slowly over 1 year.

 

2013-2020 - Nardil Antidepressant (MAOI) - Tapered off halfway over 7 months then made idiotic decision to finish the taper with NAD+ therapy which was essentially CT.  Went horribly, developed Akathisia.  Reinstated Nardil which was a failure and spent the last 3 months tapering back off.  Nardil now acts Paradoxically and is no longer an option. 

 

Because of Akathisia I started 20mg of Valium  4 months ago  to keep my head above water.  About a week ago Valium turned paradoxical on me.  Now when I take it it works briefly and then around 2+ hours makes all my symptoms worse (anxiety, tinnitus, wired, aggravated)

 

In summary I recently stopped Nardil after 7 years use (half taper/half ct) Developed Akathisia.  Freaked out and started Valium for last 4 months.  Valium has now turned paradoxical. 

 

No idea how to get out of this mess.  Valium was keeping my head above water.  Just coming off a 7 year antidepressant I was originally planning on waiting a while before starting my Valium taper.  But I don’t seem to have that option anymore.  I have dropped my Valium dose to 17.5 for a few days.

 

Mainly terrified  the Akathisia will come back full force as I taper.  How it was before was unlivable..  Really hoping I can make it out of this mess alive.  😔

I can see you're in a bad spot so I'm just going to throw out some ideas, they aren't based on experience of knowledge so bear with me. 

 

Would crossing over to another benzo be something you'd consider, perhaps Klonopin?

 

Is there an option to perhaps switch to liquid diazepam, perhaps the fillers in your pill are a problem?

 

And speaking of that, what brand of Valium are you using, I've read many member accounts that differences in brands can cause major issues.

So sorry you have akathesia. While no symptom is benign, it's the one described as the true meaning of hell on earth. What one of the forum members found out helped Jordan Peterson with akathesia were following medications amantadine, biperiden, dimenhydrinate, and apparently quetiapine. It might be something to discuss with your physician. In the end, switching to another benzo might work out for you as Pamster says (maybe delorazepam, it's to lorazepam what diazepam is to oxazepam, i.e. long half-life prodrug).

I can see you're in a bad spot so I'm just going to throw out some ideas, they aren't based on experience of knowledge so bear with me. 

 

Would crossing over to another benzo be something you'd consider, perhaps Klonopin?

 

Is there an option to perhaps switch to liquid diazepam, perhaps the fillers in your pill are a problem?

 

And speaking of that, what brand of Valium are you using, I've read many member accounts that differences in brands can cause major issues.

 

Unfortunately I’ve already been through this.  I started on Klonopin which turned paradoxical on me a couple of weeks later.  Then I switched to Valium and it worked for 3 months.  Just  Tried Librium as it’s also long acting.  Same reaction. .  It seems they’ve all turned paradoxical on me. 

 

 

It looks like your only option is a rapid taper, do you have support at home, someone to help you through this?

It looks like your only option is a rapid taper, do you have support at home, someone to help you through this?

 

Recently moved back in with my parents who are in their 70s.  Dad has Parkinson’s. Mom is healthy.  But I don’t think they realize how bad things will likely get.  I know the Akathisia is still lurking underneath.  Very scared 😔.

 

I’m essentially in Jordan Peterson’s situation except throw in 10 years of gabapentin use and recently tapered off of Nardil. 

 

How the hell did you ct off of 6-10mg of kpin??

 

What time frame is considered a fast taper?

I'm glad you won't be alone but you're right, they won't be able to see the torment you're in, most of the pain we endure is deep inside of us.

 

I was lucky when I quit cold turkey, I didn't know what was happening to me so didn't know how long it would last until I found BenzoBuddies 5 months later.  I thought I could quit it like I did alcohol in 1991.  But you know, I don't think I would have been able to taper it even if I'd known, I'm not good at moderation.  The one good thing was I wasn't poly-drugged, there was only one culprit in my situation.

 

A fast taper is what you can handle I guess, I've never tried to guide someone in your situation.  I've read other members talk about being paradoxical but no one as extreme as you.

 

Maybe I should bow out so others can weigh in on your situation.

 

 

I've never tried to guide someone in your situation.  I've read other members talk about being paradoxical but no one as extreme as you.

 

Maybe I should bow out so others can weigh in on your situation.

 

Well now I’m even more scared 😔.  But I understand.  Appreciate your help. 

Oh dear, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.  Will you do me a favor, could you start another thread on this board stating your paradoxical issue in the subject title?  This may help get more visibility to your situation prompting those with experience to comment.

My name is Chris and I am 38 years old.  I  have found myself in a very frightening and complicated situation.  I have a long history of drug use, followed by sobriety and psychiatry. Never did I imagine kicking heroin would look like a walk in the park compared to this mess.

 

Recent Use:

 

2008-2018 - Gabapentin.  Was given in rehab and kept on for years being told it was a safe anxiety medication.  Tapered off slowly over 1 year.

 

2013-2020 - Nardil Antidepressant (MAOI) - Tapered off halfway over 7 months then made idiotic decision to finish the taper with NAD+ therapy which was essentially CT.  Went horribly, developed Akathisia.  Reinstated Nardil which was a failure and spent the last 3 months tapering back off.  Nardil now acts Paradoxically and is no longer an option. 

 

Because of Akathisia I started 20mg of Valium  4 months ago  to keep my head above water.  About a week ago Valium turned paradoxical on me.  Now when I take it it works briefly and then around 2+ hours makes all my symptoms worse (anxiety, tinnitus, wired, aggravated)

 

In summary I recently stopped Nardil after 7 years use (half taper/half ct) Developed Akathisia.  Freaked out and started Valium for last 4 months.  Valium has now turned paradoxical. 

 

No idea how to get out of this mess.  Valium was keeping my head above water.  Just coming off a 7 year antidepressant I was originally planning on waiting a while before starting my Valium taper.  But I don’t seem to have that option anymore.  I have dropped my Valium dose to 17.5 for a few days.

 

Mainly terrified  the Akathisia will come back full force as I taper.  How it was before was unlivable..  Really hoping I can make it out of this mess alive.  😔

Hi  Chris  I know how scared you are right now, but  I truly believe that you have multiple ongoing withdrawal from the other drugs you were on and that's what the problem is the withdrawal is breaking though the Valium, i know you feel terrible now but if it were me I'd hold the Valium dose for a while before making any further decisions. I thought exactly the same when I was CT'd off an AD ans some other drugs and was left with just Diazepam/Valium but it wasn't the Diazepam at all,  it was  what I'm telling you it is, and after a long hold on the Diazepam/Valium  I got a LOT better and didn't work out why for ages until It dawned on me I'd been withdrawing and now that was over I had stabilised on the Valium by holding long enough until it had all passed.

 

                                                                Nova xxx  :smitten:

It looks like your only option is a rapid taper, do you have support at home, someone to help you through this?

Pam sorry  but I think your really wrong about this .

 

 

                                                      Nova xxx  :smitten:

                                               

 

   

It looks like your only option is a rapid taper, do you have support at home, someone to help you through this?

Pam sorry  but I think your really wrong about this .

 

 

                                                      Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Hi Nova,

 

Thanks so much for giving Forseason the benefit of your experience, I'm so glad you weighed in.  You're right, its quite possible I'm wrong because I have no experience so I'm grateful you stopped by to offer yours. 

Are you sure it's not just WD or the other meds? I would be absolutely sure you're paradoxical before doing a rapid taper or CT.

All of the withdrawals and being poly medicated is a challenge.  It seems as if (as others have suggested), you are still healing from the other drugs you withdrew from.  I think holding at the current dose until some of the symptoms settle is a good plan. 

 

Akathesia is so uncomfortable.  I understand.  It is a symptom.  It will not last forever.  I absolutely could not stand that.  But it passed.

 

You will be ok. 

I second this idea. You are coming off some heavy meds and it would make sense that you are having those symptoms, awful as they are. When you don’t know what to do, hold and do nothing. I can’t imagine a rapid taper off the Valium, which is basically a slow cold turkey, solving the issue of the underlying damage to you central nervous system from the meds. It took me six weeks to stabilize to a tolerable place and for akathesia to settle when I was force rapid tapered off Valium (over a week or two) on a psych hold. I cannot describe the horrors, there aren’t really words. Holding is a brilliant idea, your taxed nervous system likely needs you to stop making changes for awhile so it can find some stability (relative, because it takes a very long time). You need to get to a baseline before you taper.