What do you do?

What do you do during all those hours when you can't sleep at night? After you have already tried again, and failed again, to meditate? Eaten a bag of potato chips and a carton of strawberry ice cream? Read 'War and Peace" aloud to the cat? Watched the entire "Game of Thrones" and rewritten an alternative ending wherein King Jon Snow raises his and Dani's dragon baby to be the next ruler of Westeros? Dusted your tread mill? Emailed everyone you knew? Looked up your old high school friend on the Internet and found she is sailing the world on a catamaran with her hunky husband and at this moment is drinking mai tais on a tropical island while patrons send her money? Cleaned out your refrigerator? Checked the weather report in Taiwan? Made a video of your cat sleeping? And it's only 4 a.m. What now?

 

MirandaJane

try to find and kill that spider i saw two months ago......hes here somewhere

 

 

I recommend wolf hall mini series.....good insomnia night show

 

Good suggestions. I forgot to mention feeling guilty about everything you've ever done wrong and railing against every wrong that's ever been done to you, especially by that doctor who gave you the benzos and the friends and relatives who deserted you. Telling yourself you cannot change history and wondering what the hell lies in the future. Remembering the one person who loves you. Loves you. Loves you. Rereading the quotation: "True love is the greatest thing in the world." - Miracle Max in "The Princess Bride."

What do/did I do?

 

I have a couple of "go to sleep" CDs. I used them about every night during my taper. When I woke up at 3 or 4, instead of looking to entertain myself, I used these. They never failed to put me back to sleep.

 

I can completely understand that ppl can't meditate at 4 am when you're feeling pi**ed that you can't sleep. I couldn't either. But neither did I want to abandon the idea of sleep and throw myself into some exciting video like GOT. These CDs are specifically designed to combat insomnia and employ a bit of self-hypnosis combined with a narrator's soothing voice. Anyhow, that's what I do/did.

 

Hope this help someone. PM me if you want the titles.

 

Katz

Miranda. reading your "what do you do post" helped me to smile and lightened my mood.  Indeed we cannot change history, but must endure the present and hopefully re-write what lies ahead. 

I've tried most everything, so all I have left is the waiting game. Last night I wondered how much longer I can go on.  My life has been on a fast forward, especially the last 20 years.  I don't want to reach the bottom of the hill, but I know it is there and the brakes on my toboggan don't seem to be slowing me down, because there aren't any. Snap!

 

 

 

Thanks, buddies. And to Nightengale, take it one day at a time. Even one hour or one minute at a time, if you have to.

I would recommend laying quietly and resting your body.  Even if your brain can't sleep, your body still needs rest.

 

Your brain will get all of the sleep it needs via micro sleep and other periods where you'll nod off for minutes or maybe an hour here and there

 

Check out this advice:  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235100.0

I'm not sure if your post was supposed to funny, but dang it, I laughed because it's soooo true!

So sorry for your suffering though, for real. I know how it makes the days sooooo incredibly long.

I did keep trying to lay still, though I had such bad neuro problems I couldn't even walk, so laying was all I could do.. even during the day. Ugh.

But I would watch stupid mindless shows, the kind you don't need sound for, so I wouldn't disturb my husband, and so if I did get a micro sleep there would be NO sound to wake me!

Stuff like:

Hgtv any of the house shows

Cooking shows

Say yes to the dress(actually better with no sound)

Impractical jokers

Any car restoration shows

Animal planet shows

 

 

And PS... I haven't watched ANY of these shows since I got better! Just cannot do it, lol

try to find that find and kill that spider i saw two months ago......hes here somewhere

Thats an easy one.. Just shut your eyes, -you'll be sure to feel him (and all his friends) “crawling” on your skin...

 

Thanks MirandaJane, a raw and real post..  Sorry your in the thick of it, but you did highlight that Iv healed some.. -Your turn next..

 

I like to open my bedroom window up and sing one of my favorite songs at least 3 times at the top of my lungs. Getting all that energy out really helps to relax me and knowing that I am no longer the only person in my neighborhood that is wide awake somehow helps as well.

I went through nearly every Netflix and Amazon nature documentary in about two weeks. I had to go right back to work on day five of c/t withdrawal, and through the horrible aches and pain, I watched videos of aquatic life in 4k and mammalians in the Maasai Mara.. after that, I think I have memorized nearly every biome on this planet (maybe).. 

back when youtube was uncontrolled and unregulated there was a lot of really cool you tube communities and rabbit holes to go down. miss the golden age of social media before tech censorship hit.

What do you do during all those hours when you can't sleep at night? After you have already tried again, and failed again, to meditate? Eaten a bag of potato chips and a carton of strawberry ice cream? Read 'War and Peace" aloud to the cat? Watched the entire "Game of Thrones" and rewritten an alternative ending wherein King Jon Snow raises his and Dani's dragon baby to be the next ruler of Westeros? Dusted your tread mill? Emailed everyone you knew? Looked up your old high school friend on the Internet and found she is sailing the world on a catamaran with her hunky husband and at this moment is drinking mai tais on a tropical island while patrons send her money? Cleaned out your refrigerator? Checked the weather report in Taiwan? Made a video of your cat sleeping? And it's only 4 a.m. What now?

 

MirandaJane

 

Hi MirandaJane 

 

Oh, thank you for making me smile today! 6.35 a.m. here, I've been up for an hour, after another night of waking every 30 minutes between dreams of hiding in trenches from people with guns who wanted to shoot everything that moved. And plenty tossing and turning, eyes shut but sleep just not happening. Until the afternoon when I just crash! Anyway, just wanted to say that you're not alone with insomnia...

 

I've been asking myself the same questions: what do you do in the middle of the night - or at any other time - to still get some rest for your CNS, entire body and brain, yet when sleep just eludes you?... I like your ideas, and all those you've had in response to your initial post 

 

I've yet to try it, but what about YIN YOGA? It is said to be a calming restorative practice that can have very profound effects on the nervous system. Through holding poses, you are basically signaling your nervous system that it can let go. I'll let everyone do their research and/or try it, as I can't tell you more than what I (may) know.

 

For yin yoga practices, you can look on Youtube of course. One of the instructors you could look into is Travis Eliot who seems to have seen his life quite transformed by it, physically but also on a whole other dimension. Let me know what you think if you look into that...!

 

Hugs,

Julz x

Miranda. reading your "what do you do post" helped me to smile and lightened my mood.  Indeed we cannot change history, but must endure the present and hopefully re-write what lies ahead. 

I've tried most everything, so all I have left is the waiting game. Last night I wondered how much longer I can go on.  My life has been on a fast forward, especially the last 20 years.  I don't want to reach the bottom of the hill, but I know it is there and the brakes on my toboggan don't seem to be slowing me down, because there aren't any. Snap!

 

I understand where you are coming from. I wonder most nights how I can keep going this way. I am over 2 years into and I am still having many problems. My insomnia is still off the charts even with me 2 years into this.

 

I hope you heal soon

Miranda. reading your "what do you do post" helped me to smile and lightened my mood.  Indeed we cannot change history, but must endure the present and hopefully re-write what lies ahead. 

I've tried most everything, so all I have left is the waiting game. Last night I wondered how much longer I can go on.  My life has been on a fast forward, especially the last 20 years.  I don't want to reach the bottom of the hill, but I know it is there and the brakes on my toboggan don't seem to be slowing me down, because there aren't any. Snap!

 

I understand where you are coming from. I wonder most nights how I can keep going this way. I am over 2 years into and I am still having many problems. My insomnia is still off the charts even with me 2 years into this.

 

I hope you heal soon

 

insomnia is like the last thing to heal i think. it seems like the common source of this whole nightmare.

Thanks for all your suggestions and lighter comments. I'm more than three months post-jump, and actually, sleep is better. I no longer have the outrageous anger, the terror, the nightmares of knives flying at me and running down endless hallways only to turn and face another endless hallway. But when I'm lying awake, my mind needs fuel. Yes, watching mindless TV helps, but it's all so awful. Some music helps, sometimes it keeps me awake. I tried yoga once and it just made my aching worse. I guess what helps most is knowing that all my benzo buddies are in the same mess and I am not alone. We are in this together! Love you all. Love yourself.

I like to open my bedroom window up and sing one of my favorite songs at least 3 times at the top of my lungs. Getting all that energy out really helps to relax me and knowing that I am no longer the only person in my neighborhood that is wide awake somehow helps as well.

 

Hahaha  excellent